What is the stupidest quotes you know?

Submitted by Pontiac on March 3, 2026

I recently found out that a US Soldier, Marcus McDilda, was captured by the Japanese during WW2. He was then forced to explain what the Atomic Bomb was or have his head cut off by a Katana. McDilda had no idea what the bomb was so he made stuff up and came up with this explanation:

"As you know, when atoms are split, there are a lot of pluses and minuses released. Well, we've taken these and put them in a huge container and separated them from each other with a lead shield. When the box is dropped out of a plane, we melt the lead shield and the pluses and minuses come together. When that happens, it causes a tremendous bolt of lightning and all the atmosphere over a city is pushed back! Then when the atmosphere rolls back, it brings about a tremendous thunderclap, which knocks down everything beneath it"

This got me wondering, what are the stupidest quotes you know?

43 Comments

Level 61

Mar 3, 2026

Also if you were wondering, yes this explanation worked and he was labeled as an important person for more lies he told the Japanese. It is debated whether or not that the lies he told did or did not contribute to the surrender of the Japanese during WW2.

+12

Level 77

Mar 3, 2026

If I can quote myself "When is March Madness?" is among many of them

Level 61

Mar 3, 2026

It is in October.

Level 68

Mar 3, 2026

False, last I checked, March Madness was in August.

Level 61

Mar 3, 2026

I thought it was one of the two.

Level 65

Mar 3, 2026

and if I could quote myself, it would be

"Mum, when are we going to eat the budak?"

I meant to say, "when are we going to eat the gudeg?", gudeg being a Javanese dish, but I think I misheard her and ended up saying "Mum, when are we going to eat the slave?"

I now quote that any time someone tries to call me good at Indonesian

Level 71

Mar 4, 2026

D: You have a... slave?!?

Level 68

Mar 4, 2026

how far have we deviated from "When is March Madness?"

Level 61

Mar 4, 2026

Not too far I think. All kinda related.

Level 82

Mar 3, 2026

I think this quote is an example of "Fractal Wrongness": something so wrong that if you single out its individual parts they are still wrong.

Level 68

Mar 3, 2026

i have way too many images with people saying quite stupid things on them, some more meme-like than others I find

Level 68

Mar 3, 2026

"bro was born on his birthday"

Level 61

Mar 3, 2026

Really? Life changing stuff right there

Level 54

Mar 3, 2026

"bros younger than his parents"

Level 61

Mar 4, 2026

Hard to believe

Level 51

Mar 5, 2026

CALDRUKI FANS DETECTED FANS UNITE RAAAAAAAAAA

Level 68

Mar 5, 2026

not a fan of caldruki

+16

Level 81

Mar 3, 2026

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy—but that could change."

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

– Dan Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

Level 65

Mar 3, 2026

that belongs in Interesting Quotes

great stuff

Level 85

Mar 12, 2026

I immediately thought of Dan Quayle when I saw this. Another one: "I stand by all my misstatements."

Level 81

Mar 3, 2026

Don't believe everything you read on the internet! - Abraham Lincoln

Level 61

Mar 4, 2026

Wrong time period, but boy is it true

Level 81

Mar 6, 2026

Nah, he definitely said it!

Level 65

Mar 3, 2026

"Did you know that getting nine and a half hours of sleep a night will actually cure your anxiety and depression?"

-my homeroom teacher

"Mental health isn't mental illnesses and stuff, it's actually where your head is at."

-my health/physical education teacher

Level 61

Mar 3, 2026

I mean the 1st one is kinda true...

Level 68

Mar 4, 2026

does seven work

Level 65

Mar 5, 2026

does six or seven work

Level 68

Mar 5, 2026

Level 61

Mar 3, 2026

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!

Level 61

Mar 4, 2026

Did that last week.

Level 54

Mar 3, 2026

A teacher of ours once said "You don't want to feel my wrath" to us. I wish I was joking.

Level 62

Mar 4, 2026

Quite a remarkable story about the soldier.

Level 61

Mar 4, 2026

It just goes to show that torture is not an effective way of getting information from the enemy as this was a result of the Japanese threatening to chop his head off with a katana. He told this lie and said we had hundreds of these bombs and the next cities to be bombed were Kyoto and Tokyo (the only two cities he knew)

Level 45

Mar 4, 2026

"FEET NOT TOGETHER, MOVING AROUND, PUSH-UP POSITION EVERYONE!" - My Athletics Coach

Level 61

Mar 4, 2026

Here is another stupid quote.

"America is a nation that can be described in one word --- Thfotfhehimlyswth --- Sorry, the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping" - Joe Biden.

Level 92

Mar 4, 2026

Brandon, is that you?

Level 39

Mar 4, 2026