Who Said It? "The Office" Edition

1. “The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.”

2. “I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues, and he’s stupid.”

3. “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.”

4. “A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and um, we all took it really hard.”

5. “Dwight mercy-killed Angela’s cat.”

6. “Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents; a boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?”

7. “An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… an office is a place where dreams come true.”

8. “I got six numbers. One more and it would have been a complete phone number.”

9. “The worst thing about prison was the dementors.”

10. “I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there.”

11. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.”

12. “Power points are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.”

13. “No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs… Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?”

14. “Today, smoking is going to save lives.”

15. “The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it.”