The Office - Dwight Logic - Random

"Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will."

Michael: "Why do you have a diary?"
Dwight: "To keep secrets from my computer."

"Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do."

"The eyes are the groin of the head."

"I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. ‘Cause that's the thing about bear attacks… they come when you least expect it."

"Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses, second only to the neck."

"There's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague."

"Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it."

"I signed up for second life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same… except I could fly."

"Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you're gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone."

"Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms."

"You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once."

"All cases are solved with logic. The only logical way to find out if Donna Is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news"

"The hand that reaches from the grave to grip your throat is the strong hand you want on the wheel."

"It's a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos"