Vampire Jokes

Finish these vampire jokes.
Some jokes courtesy of the Message Board
Quiz by
FreeStater
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Last updated: March 27, 2026
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First submittedMarch 27, 2026
Times taken37
Average score93.3%
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1. Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
He broke his leg
He was COFFIN!
He was feeling depressed
2. ... and what was that doctor's name?
Dr. White
Dr. ACULA!
Dr. Clark
3. How many vampires are from Transylvania?
Seven
About twenty
None... unless you COUNT DRACULA!
4. Why didn't the vampire get invited to the party?
He was a PAIN in the NECK!
He had work
He had a wedding to attend
5. What's a vampire's favorite type of sausage?
Kielbasa
BLOOD sausage!
Haggis
6. How do vampires clean themselves?
They take a BATh!.. in BLOOD!
They take a shower
They wait for rain
7. Why don't vampires wear shoes?
They want to naturally ground
They can't afford them
They have no SOULS!
8. What do you call a female vampire enthusiast?
A vampress
A FANGirl!
A vampirologist
9. What's a vampire's favorite holiday?
FANGS-giving!
Memorial Day
Arbor Day
10. How does a vampire pay for things?
Servitude
Silver coins
CRYPTocurrency!
11. What's a vampire's favorite superhero?
BATman!
Green Lantern
The Hulk
12. What's a vampire's least favorite kind of meat?
Shellfish
Pork
STAKES!
13. Where do vampires keep their money?
A safe
Under their bed
The BLOOD bank!
14. What's a vampire's favorite drink?
DRAC-cola!
Coffee
Milk
15. How does a vampire power their flashlight?
BATteries!
Solar energy
Gasoline
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3 Comments
+1
Level 79
Mar 27, 2026
Great quiz! Nominated! :)
+1
Level 81
Mar 27, 2026
Thank you. Hopefully it gets… CREATUREd!
+1
Level 82
Mar 28, 2026
Not really. ALl you have to do is to choose the answers which end with !