The office who said it

The eyes are the groin of the face

I talk a lot so I’ve learned to tune myself out

I’m glad Michaels getting help he has a lot of issues and he’s stupid

The worst thing about prison was the dementors

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs that’s all I’ve ever wanted

I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower you have more fun as a follower but make more money as a leader

And I knew exactly what to do but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do

I don’t care what they say about me I just wanna eat which I realize is a lot to ask for at a dinner party

It’s like I used to tell my wife I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong and if you don’t like it you can leave and I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to the next one too

The problem is whenever I try to make a taco I get to excited and crush it

Whenever I’m about to do something I think would a idiot do that and if they would I do not do that thing

Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship

This is the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someone’s head

I am faster then 80% of all snakes

I consider myself a good person but I’m going to make him cry

I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat don’t cut my throat

Bippity bobbity give me the zoppity

I would like another alcohol