Grandpa Simpson Quotes

"The metric system is the tool of the _____!"

"I thought I recognized you! I gave you a plate of _____ muffins back in 1947 to pain my chicken coop."

"The important thing was that I had an _____ tied to my belt, which was the style at the time."

"If you ever travel back in time, don't _____ on anything because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine."

"I'm an old man. I hate everything but _____!"

"Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my _____. It holds the answer to all the important questions."

"Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause that _____ had stolen our word 'twenty'."

"I'm itchy! I've got _____ in my pants! I'm discombobulated! Give me a calmative!"

"Homer, you're as dumb as a _____ and twice as ugly."

"Dear Mr. President, there are too many _____ nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."

"I was sleeping in the _____ and got caught in your sheets."

"Unfortunately, like all true stories, this one has a _____ ending."