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A Research Notes
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Thing Sticker
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A member of the suction-thing family, this variation waits for prey in an upright position, disguising itself as a part of the canopy. Then it strikes.
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Upright Vacuum
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While voice modulators are not unheard of, this device is clearly the first built for a crowd use. It was likely used for intimidation at sporting events.
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Fan
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This audio-warfare thing requires a squad of Toads to operate - one each to man the taut vibration hawsers and a pair to manipulate the friction saw.
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Violin
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What began as a training apparatus for an aspiring pogo-stick champion clearly spiraled out of control during the development phase.
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Jackhammer
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This giant prehistoric bird was prepared for a feast. That much is quite clear. But was it brined? What kind of rub? Critical questions remain unanswered.
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Turkey
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A fairly sophisticated audio weapon, this thing utilizes electricity to minimize Toadpower. A single Toad can launch blistering assault "solos."
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Guitar
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A debate rages about the contents of this huge canister, but since breaching the hull could ruin whatever's within, it stays sealed. Also, we can't open it.
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Drum
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A leading Toad physicist burned basically everything in the lab before discovering this thing worked as a magnification device.
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Magnifying Glass
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In its current state, this liquid launcher is but a memory of wars long past. But load it with water, and it becomes more terrifying than you can imagine.
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Squirt Gun
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We know what his thing is: a hook. What we don't know is what terrors of the deep inspired a fisherman to make something so huge. And what of bait?
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Fishhook
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This portable campsite works best when entrenched in cool earth. Deployment of s'mores is up to the camper, but have you ever tried adding peanut butter?
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Lighter
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This ancient house alarm was designed for icy climates. Placed by the furnace, its contents would boil when burglars turned the heat on, activating a siren.
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Teapot
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This orb would be indistinguishable from other massive spheres if not for the inexplicable number on its side. For the love of Toad, what does it MEAN?!
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Billiard Ball
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It seems increasingly possible that this boulder spontaneously grew a handle out of its side. The wonders of nature are endless and often really weird.
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Curling Stone
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Though its gigantic size limits its use to only the largest of griddles, this ornate spatula is a sight to behold. The symbol is thought to mean "succulent pancake."
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Paper Fan
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Our most learned academics remain stumped as to why anyone would install blinds on such a massive light source. It kind of defeats the purpose.
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Searchlight
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Like other bladed things, this requires a command Toad in each circular cockpit. However, the protruding flange suggests a third operator is required for steering.
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Hair Shears
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It's not uncommon for the younger generation of Toads to get paper piercings, but in general, they don't use something that affixes them to a wall.
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Thumbtack
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A variation of this has long been used by Toad security forces to restrain ne'er-do-wells. It should not be used on your little brother. I MEAN IT!
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Tape
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A dessert of such magnitude comes around once in a long while, which is why this one is under surveillance. Step away from the display, sir.
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Cake
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Some frozen mountains can only be scaled by the burliest of Toad explorers. Others can be scaled by any Toad with a spoon and a lust for refreshment.
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Shaved Ice
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A testament to the quiet strength of paper power, this triumphant rolled tube of separate sheets symbolizes how unity can bring forth might.
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Newspaper
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When compressed by a team of Toads, this is capable of low-orbit launches. As the bladed end is lethal, this was likely a discarded prototype.
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Sewing Scissors
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Once thought to be a transportation pod for the northern Toads, this thing has since proven to be a very effective storage unit for management's lunch.
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Refrigerator
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This compact lighthouse is designed to be mobile, but the fact is points straight up when installed would lead to many a naval disaster.
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Flashlight
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This piece of wood has the power to send round objects flying when swung correctly. The individual responsible for vandalizing it has yet to be identified.
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Bat
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This metal container could have been useful for anything, but leading scholars believe it was almost certainly slept on by a cat at some point.
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Square Can
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This adorable little power source should not, under any circumstances, be ingested, no matter how hungry you are and how much it looks like candy.
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Watch Battery
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This piece of demolition equipment is only operable by highly trained Toads. Once filled, targeted water sprinkles can destabilize any paper edifice.
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Watering Can
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Whether this orb was designed for battle or merely construction, one thing is clear: the engineers who piloted it from the three Toad holes were brave.
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Bowling Ball
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For a supposedly high-end home feature, this sauna is sorely lacking in seating, fancy perfumed steam waters, and most importantly, a temperature control.
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Oven
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This hydroelectric-dam release valve may once have functioned well, but those days are long past. It now requires a leaping Toad to activate.
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Faucet
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When maneuvered by two skilled thing captains, this device cleaves anything. This discovery will surely revolutionize the Toad construction business.
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Scissors
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This large-scale rewarmer was likely utilized by primitive caterers, though it proved rather ineffective in both our quiche and chilli-dog tests.
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Hair Dryer
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This statue of a voracious goat seems cute at first but becomes unsettling. We're pretty sure it moved this one time. And we swear we heard a baa.
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Goat
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The bed of choice for Toads afflicted with night sweats, this revolutionary mattress is as comfortable as it is absorbent. Treat yourself today!
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Sponge
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Under no circumstances should these sticks be rubbed against their own packaging. You just need to trust the management on this one.
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Matches
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It's not uncommon to see a cat offering up a high-five-hence this sculpture. We believe the symbol may mean "Down low! You're too slow."
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Cat-o-Luck
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This piece of emergency-response equipment helps fire brigades rescue people from high buildings. It's also crucial for battling nap attacks.
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Pillow
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This single-Toad sleeping chamber offers the snug fit and steep reclining angle popularized by certain celebreties. Trust us, it's really not comfortable.
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High Heel
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Friction tests conducted on this flotation transportation resulted in one of the worst Toad pile-ups in memory. Every scientist was stuck to this thing.
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Balloon
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This liquid transporter can carry an absolutely unbelieveable amount of whatever beverage you prefer, but be warned: it gets HEAVY and MESSY.
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Car Sponge
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This large bulb was engineered to house and protect a glowing filament, but a major design flaw allows all the precious light to escape into the surroundings.
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Lightbulb
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While researchers claim that this device has a cooling effect, skeptics abound. If anything, toting this things around would probably make you look uncool.
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Air Conditioner
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Inside this device sleeps a power no Toad could hope control. In fact, you'd probably better step back a bit. Maybe a little further.
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Car Battery
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This massive, linked pair of sharpened blades was likely used for landscaping. Trained Toads can operate in tandem from the two oval command cockpits.
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Tailor Shears
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The mechanical thing appers to exist for one purpose: to consume anything within reach. While not necessarily alive, it is most certainly hungry.
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Vacuum
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The smallest of what is believed to be a previously undiscovered type of suction robot, this variation is highly maneuverable and easily satiated.
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Mini Vacuum
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While the width of this cylinder makes swinging at targets a breeze, its accuracy is bought with a loud bonking noise sure to anger the neighbors.
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Toy Bat
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This extravagant chalice looks pricey but functionally, it's a disaster. It's too big for one Toad to drink out of, and what's that weird guy doing on top?
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Trophy
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For a device that appears to have but a single purpose-ciolent vibration-this thing has far too many button.
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Cell Phone
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While this thing can theoretically manipulate time, every effort to use it to go back and avert that unfortunate chowder incident was failed.
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Pocket Watch
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This anti-aircraft battery launches twin-pronged missiles when popped open but mangles the ordinance when fired in the wrong direction.
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Stapler
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This thing cannot be a bed, it has some bed-like characteristics, but there's no way-it's too nice. If you slept in that, you'd dream of that exact same bed.
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Luxurious Bed
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While this thing resembles a common bed, it makes the typical paper bed of management's childhood look like a crumpled-up piece of used paper towel.
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Bed
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Luxurious, if a bit dusty, this lush body pillow was likely reclined upon by royalty. It even SMELLS like royalty.
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Powder Puff
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Requiring an entire platoon of Toads to operate, this primitive pinwheel motivator is a monument to inefficiency.
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Bellows
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Apparently, whatever mad scientist created this thing thought it would be funny to load liquid into a highly pressurized container. Ha ha.
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Soda
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This portable party machine requires two Toads to transport, but it's well worth the effort if one wishes to rock anytime and anywhere.
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Boom Box
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This valve-based alarm system requires the operator to exhale as hard as possible into the apparatus. The result is a din trespassers won't soon forget.
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Trumpet
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