Part 13: Recalculating

“I gave him a little something so he’d stay calm.”

“I- mate, can he even have those?”

“No idea. Hopefully.”

The three former delivery drivers stood in the queue of the crowded terminal at the crowded Sydney gate in anticipation, anxiously waiting. Naruto curled up against Marcus’ fur underneath his shirt; passable as a fat fold or a lymphedema.

Their disguises looked terrible. Marcus wore the wing guy’s beanie inside out, along with a pair of dollar-store glasses and an overcoat in the middle of summer. The wing guy wore a face mask and a bad wig, a bleach-blond mullet which a strand of his dark hair kept poking out of. Oliver himself was dressed like some sort of IT guy, wearing a button-up shirt, large glasses which looked like they were straight out of the seventies, and a mustache held on by spirit gum. It felt like the equivalent of a small child wearing groucho glasses. It just had to get them through the border.

“Now Wing Guy, you’re mute, remember? That means shut up and let us do the talking.” Marcus adjusted the Wing Guy’s wig. It was an easier solution than having him try to hide his Mobian accent.

“I can always do a Velkarian voice-”

“No one in this dimension knows what a Velkarian is, you have a Queensland ID and documents, just stay quiet.”

“I know what the hell I’m doing, I don’t know why you guys don’t trust me with things,” the petulant teenager mumbled. Oliver’s mind raced with anxiety as he waited for the portalcraft in anticipation. The long drive down to Sydney had been no different. He sat on pins and needles, stressing himself out. He looked around at the busy terminal: a platypus sat patiently with her egg, keeping it warm, a spiny echidna was pulled out of line and awkwardly patted down by security, a two-toed sloth in a Hawaiian shirt wheezed with laughter and spoke to someone on the phone in Portuguese, and an octopus in a pink blouse sat in a motorized chair, taking turns sipping out of her eight different sodas which she’d soon have to pour out. All of these people would soon be gone, and it was possibly all their fault. The thought of it made Oliver physically ill. He’d tried wanted to shout to all of these people that they were all in grave danger, but that would only cause a panic and get him arrested. Obviously that wouldn’t work

He’d tried to stop by Iris’ place before making the trip, but she wasn’t home. He’d sent two long texts earlier, one to his mum and one to Marcie, in hopes that she would be able to get ahold of Iris, trying to warn them and explaining the situation. He had a growing mental list of all the people he needed to warn, but it still wasn’t enough. The weight of the situation crushed down on his little body as he ruminated. His entire universe, all the life and history and beauty, all the ever-expanding cosmos, gone. All to power some Mobian’s generator.

The three walked up to the desk, where the old, wirey-haired cassowary sat.

“Next!” They walked up and handed her their documents. She looked them over, one by one.

“George Gittens… Kevin So…bier… not gonna try to pronounce that one…”

“Sobierajski,” Marcus said, having practiced in the car for three hours straight.

“…Elijah Christensen.” The wing guy nodded, doing a passive-aggressive grunt. The cassowary carefully examined the fake IDs with her failing eyes.

“…Dates of birth?” Oliver froze. Was it July 3rd or July 5th? He couldn’t remember, even though he practiced it several times in the car. His blood ran cold.

“Er… July 5th.” Her long, red talons clicked and clacked against the keyboard of her computer for what felt like hours. “He’s April 20th, he- he can’t speak. He was, er, born mute.” The wing guy made another spiteful grunt. She kept typing, as seconds slowed down into weeks. Oliver could hardly breathe.

“November 29th. You know, typical sagittarius.” Marcus stepped up to the desk and flashed her a charming grin. “Also, love the nails.”

“You’re too kind,” she droned, disinterested, as she finished looking back and forth and typing. She turned around to grab some other paperwork behind her, as Oliver leaned in.

“That’s not Aussie,” he whispered.

“Huh?” The panda dropped the affected accent for a brief second.

“That’s not Aussie mate, that’s Kiwi.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I- what’s the difference?!” They quickly shut up as she turned back around.

“Reason for travel?”

Earlier in the day, the three had stood in Mabel’s room, anxiously waiting as she printed the forged documents, one by one. They were surrounded by various mini figurines, artwork, and mangas, as Marcus and the Wing Guy looked around.

“Cool stuff.” The panda eyed a commission framed above her bed.

“Thanks. Got it at a convention last year. The person who makes it does a lot of cool prints. I don’t know if you follow this series, but they do a lot of art from that series, as well as-” She awkwardly cut herself off mid-sentence, so as not to ramble.

“What were you saying?”

“Oh, that’s it…”

“Huh, sounds neat.” Mabel gave a slight smile, before returning to business.

“Okay, so we’ve got three IDs for each of you, all ID supplements, and if it ever loads, a pre-paid ticket, which’ll make it look like you’ve already paid your way through.”

“You guys work quick. Tell your weird nerd friends we said thanks,” Oliver said with a wry smile. It wasn’t like her to be sitting here, making counterfeit documents, or doing anything of the sorts. The thought of it got a bit of a chuckle out of him. Though, he figured if anyone he knew was tech-savvy and bright enough to figure it out, it was a bunch of uni students who never slept.

“Sleepy and Bond are happy to help.” She turned around, her short hair poking out of the light-pink hood of her sweater. “I should mention this is an absolutely terrible idea.”

“I know, but we’ve got no choice.” She looked down, concerned.

“You’re sure about this?”

“We’ve seen proof.” Mabel’s face remained neutral, avoiding eye contact as she usually did.

“I’m not seeing anything pop up talking about this ‘dimensional rot’ you were talking about. It could just be the fertilizer they were using on the grass.”

“It’s not fertilizer,” Marcus interjected. “Trust us, we’ve had one of the most brilliant scientists in Mobius look this over.” Could it be that the leak was already censored by the Mobian government?

“I mean, I’ve found some conspiracy stuff on the web, looks pretty unhinged.”

“I know, it sounds insane, but please. I need you to believe us. I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes, to another world just like this,” The urgency in Oliver’s voice grew.

“I do trust you, really.”

“Then you’ve got to get out of here. If not to Mobius, then to another dimension. You, and Brett, and Mum-”

“You can’t expect us to just put our entire lives on hold, mate!” She turned towards her brother, looking him in the eye as she spoke. “I’m willing to help you out, but this is insanity. You realize what you’re asking us to do? I’ve got school, mum’s got her own thing going on, we don’t exactly have the money to travel through the universe on a conspiracy theory with very little backing. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s-” She grappled with the suddenness of the situation, the denial setting in. As if any of that would actually matter if their world was wiped from existence. Oliver sighed through his nose.

“I get it. You’ve got your life going on. I know we’ve got so much invested here, which is why I wouldn’t just say or do any of this. I can’t state enough how much we all really appreciate your help with this.” He spoke calmly. Mabel looked at the cluttered floor. “Sooner or later, if I’m right about this, you’ll see the gas burning in the atmosphere. It’ll look like the Northern lights. You’ll see the wildlife around you starting to die off, and before you know it, you’ll experience the heat death of the universe as everything gives out. I, er, I couldn’t tell you the science behind it, but I know people who could.” He looked right at Mabel’s straying, hesitant glance as he spoke. “I know it’s a lot. It’s a lot for me too, but I just want you all to get to safety while you still can. Before there’s some sort of panic… and you’re stuck here.” Mabel said nothing, as she sat in her computer chair.

“Just… talk to Mum. Come up with a plan. Keep me posted. Alright?”

“Alright.” Perhaps Oliver was overreacting to something that would turn out to be nothing.  He could never take that risk. Oliver’s expression fell.

“I wish I got to see you more before we had to leave.”

“Me too.” Oliver pulled her in for a side hug, as he quickly nuzzled the top of her head. Wing Guy awkwardly held out his fist for a fist bump, which she either ignored or didn’t notice. Marcus shook his head, holding back laughter. “Be safe, idiot.”

“Thanks, goblin. Have fun here in your cave.” Oliver’s teasing smile turned into a more serious look. “Seriously, keep me posted.” They left the room with documents at hand. Oliver looked back at the koala sat at her PC, with her pastel hoodie, her flannel pajama pants, and her tumbler full of coffee. A bittersweet, heavy feeling came over him, as he wondered if this was the last time he’d ever see his sister, or the last time he’d ever set foot in his childhood home. She glanced over and noticed him in the doorway.

“What?”

“Nothing... See you around.” He closed the door and caught up with Marcus and the wing guy, who waited for him by the front door.

After what felt like ages of waiting, the cassowary handed back the documents with her wrinkly foot.

“There you go, terminal 42.”

“Th-thank you.” The nerves left Oliver’s little body. Marcus stood at the counter, trying to make small talk.

“You know, it’s funny-”

“Next!” Oliver glanced at Marcus impatiently as he nodded and moved along.

“At least you shot your shot,” Wing Guy sneered. Marcus exhaled through his nose, somewhere between a forced laugh and contempt.

“I mean hey, I was gonna ask her if they had a place to get food around here, so I could stop listening to your grumbling stomach. Our ears are sensitive, man,” he said with a teasing grin. “Besides, if I was really trying to rizz her up I would’ve at least went for a fist bump.”

“Shut your face.” As Marcus bumped into a pole, the startled beebo dug its claws into his skin. Marcus bit his tongue, so as to not cry out in pain, as the chittering creature simmered back down.

After an hour or two of waiting, they packed onto the portalcraft like sardines, with creatures of all shapes and sizes, from various other dimensions and hubs, waiting in anticipation. Most of the people there were in business attire of sorts. Oliver glanced over as a familiar face caught his eye.

“Hang on, is that-” The sharply-dressed koala stood patiently, as Marcus and the Wing Guy looked over.

“Huh, would you look at that!” The three of them stared at the spitting image of Oliver himself. He didn’t seem to recognize Oliver, due to his shoddy disguise.

“Great, there’s two of them,” Wing Guy muttered.

“I- Marcus, do you think-”

“Could be. You got a twin?”

“No.”

Before Oliver could further examine, the various mechanisms and locks automatically fastened, as a tritone sounded over the speaker.

“Do not try to exit the vehicle, breathe, or open your eyes while the vehicle is between convergence points. Your safety and satisfaction are important to us. Enjoy your warp.”

The portalcraft calibrated as it prepared for warp. Marcus held tightly onto Naruto, keeping him subdued. With a mighty jolt and a flash, they all slowly opened their eyes as they all got their bearings, filing out into the Mobian terminal. The sounds and sensations of Mobius were overwhelming, as it had been when Oliver had first arrived. There were screens and ads everywhere, as the creature comforts and distractions surrounded them at every angle. Armed enforcers patrolled the area in numbers, accompanied by Mobians dressed in uniform. The change was noticeable, even compared to the first time Oliver had arrived here a few months ago.

“Jeez, look at that,” Marcus remarked, looking around at the heavy enforcer presence.

“Hang on, I’ll be right back.” Oliver began to scurry away from Marcus.

“I- dude, where are you going?”

“Stay right there.” The koala wove through the koala, scouring the area for his doppelgänger. There was no sign of him anywhere, much to the curious koala’s disappointment. He couldn’t’ve gone that far.

Suddenly, in his distraction, Oliver bumped into something large.

“Sorry-” His stomach dropped as the robotic enforcer turned around and looked down at him. He stood, paralyzed with fear.

“Please have your identification ready.” The enforcer, an upgraded model, scanned his fake ID with its large, owl-like optics. It gazed straight through him as he did everything he could to keep from trembling. He was caught. There was no way-

“Hello, George Gittens. Welcome to Mobius.” Oliver stood in silence, blinking as it looked down at him, the calm, automated voice emanating from its body. “I’ve scanned your vitals, it appears your current heart rate is above normal for a member of your species. This could be due to the stress of travel, or a pre-existing condition. There is a water fountain around the corner, in front of Terminal β-961.”

“Tha- er, thanks, o-officer, er… sir…” He gulped and adjusted his giant glasses, before walking away, feeling like he’d just dodged a bullet. Marcus and the wing guy waited patiently for him.

“Ready?” Oliver quickly looked around, before leaning in.

“Let’s get the hell out of here.”

The rental car crawled through the busy streets of Mobius as night fell. The billboards and road signs were full of glowing pop-up ads, as usual. The overhead lights of patrol drones occasionally passed by overhead, as they saw far more patrol vehicles than usual. The car passed by the point where the drone had crashed down into a fiery explosion, now a large crater next to a demolished building, where a holographic memorial sat. The three of them grew deathly silent, the atmosphere in the car tense.

“Did- did those people die because of us?” The wing guy quietly asked.

“Try not to think about it,” Marcus said, his expression grim as he looked forward. The familiar feeling of guilt deep in Oliver’s gut came back with a vengeance, as he tried to focus on the road.

The car’s wheels eventually squeaked as it broke into the parking lot. There sat Professor Pizza’s Pizzas, a relic of their shared history, a monument to their memories, abandoned and boarded up. Not a single person was in sight, juxtaposed with the simple, lively pizzeria they all once knew. The three got out of their car, taking it in.

“Looks like it was condemned right after we left,” Oliver said, searching the internet.

“So that’s it, huh? Wonder if the Professor’s okay.” Oliver scrolled down.

“The owner, as well as his former staff, are under investigation for… terrorist acts and are thought to have been affiliated with the Uberkill Gang?”

“Lies,” Marcus growled. Oliver felt beyond terrible, having been forced to abandon the professor when he needed him the most, and potentially causing the deaths of innocent people. On top of that, his entire world was on the chopping block, and likely couldn’t be saved. Oliver let out a heavy sigh. Marcus tried the door, which was locked and blocked off.

“Shoot.” Suddenly, they heard the sound of glass shattering, as the wing guy threw a carefully-aimed brick through a high-up window.

“Hey look, I found a way in.” Oliver looked around frantically, in fear of getting caught. Marcus shrugged at him, as Oliver climbed up, followed by Marcus, who carried the wing guy, who in turn carried Naruto.

Upon entering the abandoned restaurant, Naruto excitedly sniffed around, digging through the trash for scraps of food.

“Hello? Professor?” Oliver called out. There was no sign of anyone anywhere, as he stepped through broken boards and debris. Suddenly, Marcus’ powerful nose started sniffing the air.

“Hang on, is that- is that bamboo?” Marcus paced around. “And eucalyptus! And… chicken nuggets?”

“Mate, we’ve got more important things to worry about. We’ll grab dinner on the way out.”

Marcus went in the back and pushed the cooler full of rotten toppings aside. “It’s definitely coming from in here. It smells fresh, like someone’s been in here recently.” Oliver and the wing guy cautiously entered, as Marcus sniffed a part of the wall. “I don’t remember hiding any food in this wall.” Upon careful investigation, the tiles opened up, revealing a false panel. His eyes shone with excitement, only to turn into disappointment find no food.

“Huh, well, this is something.” The room filled with dust, as the secret tunnel revealed itself. The three climbed down into the tunnel, one by one, as Oliver took point. Marcus and the wing guy followed suit, clambering into each other due to their size.

“Get your ass out of my face!”

“Get your face out of my ass!” Oliver slowed down, helping pull the large panda through the makeshift tunnel. As they inched forward, they began to hear the faint whirr of various devices, as the tunnel filled with a sickly green glow. Their heads filled with a disembodied, frantic, off-key humming of what was supposed to be a tune. As they clambered into the underground lab, filled with various machines and vats, a familiar, meaty figure burst forward.

“WELL, IF IT ISN’T THE MIRTHFUL PITTERING AND PATTERING OF MY DUTIFUL FORMER EMPLOYEES! WELCOME!!!”

“Professor, you’re okay!” Oliver shouted with excitement. The wing guy smiled with a quiet relief.

“AH YES, NEWCOMER! I AM UNSCATHED AND UNHINDERED IN MY WORK! I FIGURED IN THE EVENTS OF A CATASTROPHE, MY CAREFULLY SYNTHESIZED ‘EAU DE BAMBOO, EUCALYPTUS, AND CHICKEN NUGGETS WOULD GARNER AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR ATTENTIONS.” Marcus laughed.

“How the hell did that even work, man? That’s ridiculous.”

“RIDICULOUS, YES, MARCUS CHANG, BUT SURPRISINGLY EFFECTIVE. MARVELOUS!” The wing guy went to touch a random device.

“DO NOT TOUCH THAT! THOSE SUMMONING CIRCLES, WHEN ENCHANTED CORRECTLY, CREATE A MAGNETIC PULL LIKE NO OTHER. IT TURNS OUT THE STRONGEST MAGNET IS NOT, IN FACT, A MAGNET, BUT MAGIC. HERE, PLAY WITH THIS.” He levitated a shimmering, metallic cube towards the wing guy, which violently shook. “IT’S IONIZED FRANCIUM, WITH AN ADDED 2 MILLIMETER GRAVITATIONAL BARRIER SO THAT IT CAN MAINTAIN ITS FORM WITHOUT INSTANTANEOUSLY REACTING.”

“R-reacting?” Oliver looked confused.

“JUST DON’T GET IT WET!” The professor’s tone was playful, yet unhinged.

“I- er, what?”

“Cool.” The wing guy let it levitate slightly above the palm of his hand, before he shoved it into his pocket.

Oliver glanced around at the makeshift laboratory. The professor had clearly been hard at work this entire time. Various homunculi in different stages lay in vats of amniotic fluid, unawakened. Incomprehensible notes were scattered everywhere. A setup of ten old computers haphazardly fused together sat at a center console.

“DO YOU LIKE IT, NEWCOMER? I SALVAGED IT USING TUNNELS LEADING TO BOTH MY FORMER LABORATORY, AS WELL AS AN ABANDONED RESEARCH FACILITY. REMEMBER, NEWCOMER! IT DOES NOT CONSTITUTE THEFT IF NOBODY IS USING IT TO ITS POTENTIAL, BUT DISCOVERY!!!”

“Er- looks nice, professor.” Oliver had no idea how to respond. Marcus scratched his head.

“Hey, uh, Professor, sorry about last time-” It was the least Marcus could say, considering that last time they spoke, he had tried to kill the professor.

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR APOLOGIES, MARCUS CHANG, FOR A GROUNDBREAKING DISCOVERY HAS BEEN MADE! OBSERVE!!!” Marcus couldn’t tell if that meant they were cool or not. It was very tough to tell with Professor Pizza. “TAKE A LOOK INTO THE MICROSCOPE. WORRY NOT, IT ISN’T ONE OF THE PRANK EXPLODING ONES.”

“I mean, that’s a relief. I’m pretty sure.” Marcus looked at the sample in the microscope, followed by the Wing Guy and Oliver.

“THESE CELLS WERE CAREFULLY HARVESTED BY ONE OF MY DISCOVERY DRONES FROM THE INNERMOST LAYER OF MOBIUS AND KEPT ALIVE. IN THE MEDIAN LAYER OF THE GREAT MOBIUS STRIP. WHICH, AS YOU KNOW, SURROUNDS THE METAPHYSICAL CORE, HAS A LAYER OF ORGANIC MATTER, AKIN TO ANIMAL CELLS.”

“So, like tissue or membrane?”

“PRECISELY, MARCUS CHANG! NOW, OBSERVE!” He sent a ray of some sort of energy into the slide and put it back into the microscope. The cells were all destroyed and lifeless.

“NOW, WATCH WHAT HAPPENS TO THIS SAMPLE, WHICH HAS BEEN SLOWLY EXPOSED IN INCREMENTAL AMOUNTS.” He zapped a second slide and put them back into the microscope. The cells were perfectly unharmed.

“They’ve built up a resistance,” Oliver said, intrigued.

“CORRECT, NEWCOMER! NOW, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SCREEN.”

“Where are you getting with all of this, Professor?”

“SILENCE, MARCUS CHANG. ALL WILL BE REVEALED. NOW, THIS DEVICE MEASURES QUASI-TECTONIC ACTIVITY IN THE MOBIUS STRIP. I’VE BEEN SENDING CURRENTS IN THROUGH NTH-DIMENSIONAL TECHNOLOGY THROUGH A SPECIALIZED ROD. OBSERVE!” He sent a shock into the large, metal antenna sticking out of the ground. The data on the screen wavered directly after.

“So it altered the landscape?”

“NAY, NEWCOMER! THE LANDSCAPE ALTERED ITSELF IN RESPONSE TO IT! I HAD MY THEORIES, BUT THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!” Marcus sat down.

“Okay, so Mobius has evolved to deal with your constant experimentation.”

“NOT EVOLVED, MARCUS CHANG. ADAPTED!!!  THINK! COMPRISED OF ORGANIZED CELLS, REQUIRES ENERGY TO BE SUSTAINED THROUGH THE CONSUMPTION OF OTHER UNIVERSES, HOMEOSTASIS, RESPONSE TO STIMULI, SIGNS OF METABOLISM-”

“Wait!” Marcus immediately sat up and looked at the blinking screen. “You’re saying Mobius is alive?!”

“PRECISELY, MARCUS CHANG!!! THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE BEARS YOU MANY FRUITS! PREPARE YOURSELVES! THIS MAY BE TOO MUCH TO HANDLE!”

“This is too much, this is all too much. I- I think I’m gonna be sick,” the wing guy said, clutching his stomach.

“Hang on…” Oliver’s head hurt as he wrapped his head around this new information. “No one’s ever seen the Highest, right? And we’re finding out Mobius is alive, right? So, er- what if Mobius is- is like, the highest?”

“Is it intelligent?” Marcus chimed in.

“How was it created? Who made Mobius? Was it brought to life?”

“INTERESTING THEORIES INDEED. HOWEVER, I’VE DISCOVERED SOMETHING TRULY EXHILARATING. YOU SEE, THROUGH CARBON DATING, I’VE CONCLUDED THAT MOBIUS, INCLUDING THE DEMIPLANE AROUND IT, FORMED AND EVOLVED OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL HUNDRED MILLENNIA. FROM WHAT, YOU ASK?! FROM THE VERY FIBERS OF ITS OWN ESSENCE, THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED METAPHYSICAL CORE!!!” The meatball floated around the room excitedly. “I’D KNOWN ONLY ONE OTHER RAA’GUU IN MY INFANCY, NEVER THINKING THAT WE WOULD MEET AGAIN. BUT ITS PRIORITIES ALIGNED WITH EXPANSION! POWER! A NURTURING YET CONTROLLING FASCINATION WITH LOWER LIFE FORMS! WITH SUCH A DRIVE, THERE’S NO TELLING HOW POWERFUL A RAA’GUU COULD GET, OR HOW IT COULD PHYSICALLY MANIFEST.”

“You’re saying you’re potentially hundreds of thousands of years old?!” Marcus was shocked at all of this, as it suddenly clicked for Oliver.

“The other of your kind, who developed a permanent physical form!” The fascination, shock, and terror all set in at once, as Oliver remembered what the professor told him about the Raa’guu back in the pizza shop.

“IT IS A GLORIOUS DAY, NEWCOMER!!! FOR THE INFINITE CITY, MOBIUS ITSELF IS… MY BROTHER!!!!!”

The room filled with a shocked and deafening silence, as the wing guy bent over and puked into a trash bin.