Part 15: Delivery From the Great Beyond

The eerie, yet beautiful song of various frogs, toads, and other such creatures filled the thick, murky air. The haunting call of a single loon echoed in the distance. The stench of the swamps  lingered as the sludge splashed against the legs of Oliver’s pants. It was hard to see around him, as Dimension 80G-573ω, or the Realm of Endless Swamps, was eternally in twilight.

“Should be getting close. You good?”

“Yeah.” Oliver stayed behind Marcus, scanning his surroundings carefully with every step. He always learned back home to never go into a body of water you can’t see through. Any second, a part of him expected to be pulled under the bog by some sort of creature and never be seen again.

The eyes of various animals glowed through the trees, watching them with every step. With every step, it felt like others were walking alongside them, forever wandering the land, even though, whenever they looked, it was only the two of them. Cyrus stayed behind to defend the research station from any more raids, and there was no sense in bringing Naruto or the Wing Guy along.

“Didn’t we deliver out here once?” Marcus asked Oliver. He looked around.

“If you did, it was certainly before I got there.”

“Maybe. Could’ve been another swamp world. Probably was.” Oliver chuckled.

“There’s other swamps full of wandering spirits?”

“I don’t know, all the different universes tend to blend together into ‘just another delivery’ after a certain point. I just- I have this weird feeling of deja vu. I can’t explain it.”

“Same here.” They walked in the footsteps of all others who had been there, in tandem with all of their past lives. “Might just be an effect of this dimension.” Oliver briefly smiled. Despite the urgency, it was nice, being out here, just the two of them working quickly together. It was like old times. Well, old as in a couple of months ago, but still.

As they stepped upon a patch of grass and mushrooms, the glow of fireflies surrounded them in the dusk, as the bats danced in the sky. Oliver tried to catch a fly, as it passed through his hand. Upon closer inspection, the fireflies were not insects, but simply glistening lights; the tiny will o’ wisps who once knew the sensation of life, who once had names and homes, idly floated around them, eternally wandering. It was a beautiful, quiet display. All around them, death and life thrived hand in hand, perfectly in sync. In a strange way, this place was unsettling, yet peaceful.

The panda and the koala hiked quickly as they ventured through difficult terrain. Oliver couldn’t help but mull over the wing guy’s words in the back of his mind as he quietly cut through the wilds; the fact that many Mobians simply didn’t care about worlds like his should have filled him with a bitter anger, and it did. He felt like they were the only ones trying anything at all to stop this, perhaps due to the futility of it. However, he quickly realized himself to be no better. The reason he was out here trying to bring back Professor Pizza, the reason he was doing any of this, right now, was because his universe was directly at stake. Would he have cared if it was another world across the multiverse, completely foreign to him? One of the thousands that had already been consumed and forgotten? Or, even if it was an alternate version of his world, with alternate versions of the people he loved, and an alternate canopy in an alternate Maryborough? Would he be out here, fighting to save it? The thought made his stomach churn. He was in no position to call himself a good man, especially with all the destruction caused ostensibly by his actions. He’d managed to break through to the wing guy’s, but now he was even beginning to doubt himself.

The water bubbled, as they backed up. Marcus growled, putting his arm in front of Oliver, as a large, scaly creature, perfectly camouflaged, slowly emerged from the water. Its face and body were akin to an alien crocodile with a long, slender nose, but it had a large, turtle-like shell and flippers, as it waded through the muck, seemingly aloof.

“Silly things,” a low, croaky voice spoke from the trees. “My children do not bite.” They turned to the noise, as a decrepit, old woman leapt down from the tree, landing on all fours. She was a sight to behold, somewhere between a goblin, a bullfrog, and something vaguely human. She carried a knotted old staff and wore only rags, and her bulging, yellow eyes moved independently of one another, analyzing her surroundings. Her skin was green and bumpy, like a pickle plucked straight from the jar. She sat, curiously watching them.

“Uh… are you Madam Mibbitt?” She slowly blinked, one eye at a time.

“Who is asking?”

“Hey, I’m Marcus… this here is Oliver. We had some questions for you, we were kinda hoping you could help us out with a bit of a situation back home in Mobius.” She thought for a moment.

“…We’ll discuss this indoors. Follow me.” She crept up onto the rocks and led them up a steep hill, to a withered, old tree by a gentle stream and a field of lillies. The massive tree bore a wooden door, which revealed a hut twice as large on the inside as on the outside. Oliver and Marcus looked at each other and shrugged.

A floral, aromatic tea sat on the open fire as she waded her hand through the gentle stream outside, patiently waiting. Suddenly, she grabbed a wriggling fish-like creature out of the water, whispering an incantation, as a ball of light floated from its body. She snatched the tiny soul up with her tongue, as she laid its lifeless body on the ground. The earth instantly reclaimed it as it was consumed by the soil, a lilly blooming in its place. She entered the tree as she poured the tea.

“Forgive me, I had not yet eaten.” She sat on the ground, itching the side of her head with her long, green foot.

“We hate to bother you, er, Madam, but we’re in a desperate situation,” Oliver said, as he sat on a large toadstool. “A friend of ours is dying, well dead, kind of… it’s complicated. We were wondering if you could help us retrieve him before it’s too late, if it isn’t already… we heard you’re the woman for the job.” He smiled hopefully, as she leaned forward.

“He straddles the veil?”

“I- come again?”

“From what you describe to me, he straddles the veil between the living… and the departed.” Each syllable was deliberate and slow as she spoke in a thick accent. “He is bound in the exact moment of his departure, pulled by two opposite forces.”

“I- I think so. I really don’t know.” She thought for a moment.

“Those who loiter in limbo, stuck for quite a long time, do not come back with their sanity. More than likely, even if brought back to the living, he will be gone.”

“I mean, his sanity was already kinda thrown out the window a long time ago,” Marcus interjected.

“Look, I- we wouldn’t ask, but… my universe is being destroyed and we need him to help us stop it, please-”

“I see… have you considered… relocating?”

“We’re not relocating.” Oliver held back a tinge of annoyance in his voice. She loudly sipped the cup of tea in both hands.

“To meddle in matters with the dead and those in such predicaments is often more trouble than it’s worth. The dead do not come back for a reason; it opens the door to all things pandemonium.” She glanced outside at the lillies, which blew in the wind. “All things have a cost. With gold, comes labor. With love, comes grief.” She stared into Oliver’s soul. “With the cycle of life, comes the fact that it must end for all beings for it to continue.” Oliver squirmed in his chair. “To use my services to pluck your friend from the veil, there may very well be consequences… which cannot be undone. Consequences beyond any of our understanding.”

“I- er, hmm…” Oliver sat, deep in thought.

“I will not dabble in such endeavors without foresight. Without guidance from fate itself on such consequences. That alone could take many moons.”

“We don’t have that long…”

“Such are the costs.” Oliver turned to Marcus, disheartened.

“I guess he’s really gone, then.”

“Yeah. That sucks… well, where are we gonna find another rah-goo or whatever they’re called to help us out with Mobius?” Madam Mibbitt’s eyes widened, bemused.

“A raa’guu? Hmph. Impossible. To witness one would be an event so rare, they are thought not to exist altogether.” Oliver’s ear perked up, as he wore a cunning smile.

“Well we happen to know one, and we’re giving you the opportunity to work with its soul.” Her large, stretched-out face emerged into a crooked grin.

“You’ve intrigued me. Come along.”

They stepped out into the balmy field, as she led them all to a large, basket, in the center of a giant lotus. They three of them carefully stepped on, as she tapped it with her staff, calling to the spirits of nature.

“Think about where you wish to return to. Picture it in your mind, every last detail. Call to it. Yearn for it.” Marcus remembered his earlier sense of deja vu.

“Hey, before we go, did you or anyone out here ever order a pizza from Professor Pizza’s Pizza?”

“Doubtful. I alone am the keeper of this plane, and I detest such things as pizza.”

“Huh.” She glanced over with a keen eye.

“The swamps play many tricks. Now, focus.” Oliver closed his eyes, focusing his mind as hard as he could. He thought about the large room full of tangling machinery, about his eccentric former boss, who would pontificate and discover at every moment. The smell of pizza filled his memories. The violet petals folded up around them, one by one, as it gently carried them through time and space. As it began to unfurl, they found themselves at the research station in Mobius, in front of Professor Pizza alongside Cyrus. The wing guy stepped back, taken aback, as Cyrus remained unfazed.

“About damn time.” She let out an amused chuckle.

“It is nice to see you again, Le Rook.” He said nothing as he remained in place.

“Here he is, though be warned-” She approached the professor’s body, extracting a bit of his remaining essence. She stretched and kneaded the ball of eerie radiance in her hands like dough, trembling with fascination and excitement, as Oliver stepped back, looking on wide-eyed.

“It’s not possible… I have never seen one of this caliber nor of this age… it truly is as you say.” She slowly and begrudgingly put it back in the professor’s mangled body. She silently watched over the machine, weighing her options, as she looked down at Naruto, before carefully scanning each face in the room.

“Well?” Marcus asked.

“I will agree to lend my assistance, though be warned, time is of the essence. First, he will need a new vessel, similar to his former one. One the spirit will not reject. His current vessel is beyond repair. Feed it to the dogs, they will get more use out of it now.” Marcus and Oliver looked at each other.

“Where are we going to get a giant-”

“Second.” Her voice was pointed and direct, as she paced around the room. “My assistance is not free. There is always a price to pay.”

“Okay, uh, how much?” Marcus pulled out his phone, which she put a gentle hand on.

“Your currency, and other such material things, I’m afraid, are worthless to me.” She glanced back at the small beebo, who chewed on its tail. The wing guy stepped in front of it. “A beebo’s essence is a rare delicacy. Especially one whose soul knows love and connection. The strength of love and bonds refine a soul, improve its quality. To see such an elusive creature toying around with several beings as yourselves, I can tell you’ve all formed quite the bond.”

“He did save our lives,” Oliver said, looking down. The wing guy stepped in front of Naruto.

“Uh uh. No way.” Madam Mibbitt looked on, her expression unchanging.

“What’s the catch to all of this?” Marcus asked as he scratched his head.

“There is no catch. I have warned you of the risks, and have told you of the cost. After I attempt to bring back your friend, I will take the beebo with me. I will prepare it and consume its essence. Plain and simple.”

“No deal, you old bat!” Marcus put a hand on the wing guy’s shoulder.

“It’s for the professor…” Naruto’s tiny earflaps perked up, knowing that they were talking about it.

“All that for a damn beebo, that’s the best deal you’re ever gonna get,” Cyrus mused. Wing Guy looked regretfully at the creature, who followed him as if he were its mother. He looked over at Oliver desperately, who silently nodded. Madam Mibbitt summoned an hourglass out of thin air, which she watched with a close eye.

“You are losing him.”

“Okay sure, whatever.” He reluctantly turned back towards the witch, who rubbed her hands together.

“Mm, excellent. You will have a brief moment to make your final arrangements. Now, bring me a vessel.” She pinched off a bit of ground meat. “A specimen of his original size and shape, made from the flesh of beasts. Cooked to perfection.”

“There’s what looks like a fryer by the bathroom, in what looks like a makeshift kitchen of sorts, I saw it earlier when I went to the bathroom.”

“Is there any ground meat here?”

“I’ll check the freezer,” Cyrus responded.  Oliver stood apprehensively. They only had one shot at this. Suddenly, the wing guy had an idea.

“It’s just gotta be a big ball of meat, right?” She blinked one eye at a time.

“Perhaps, the more similar, the fewer the consequences.”

“How about a giant boneless wing?” She shrugged.

“You may certainly try. It is your dear professor’s vessel to work with, not mine.” The wing guy’s eyes narrowed with determination. Without another word, the wing guy took off for the fryer, as the rest stood in anticipation, quickly helping prepare the ritual.

The smell of sizzling poultry filled the air as the circle was prepared. Oliver had meticulously drawn it, putting his once-frivolous cybernetic implant to good use. All seventeen offerings were carefully laid out onto the floor, sitting perfectly equidistant around the perimeter. They stood in anticipation, as the Wing Guy entered the room, pulling the massive boneless wing on a cart and setting it down with help from Marcus, before quickly painting it with a hot garlic parm sauce. Oliver looked on in awe, mouthwatering by even his kind’s standards. The spicy, garlicky sauce burned his nostrils. Golden wings required golden timing. That was what the professor once told him. This was proof that no one knew golden timing like the wing guy. The wing guy stepped back, nervously, as Marcus patted him on the shoulder. Madam Mibbitt looked over the monstrosity carefully.

“…That will do. Heed my words carefully.” Her words were slow, yet carefully direct. “Close all doors and windows, and coat them in these oils. In the events of a rogue spirits, they will be repelled from leaving. Do not speak, do not touch, do not offend. Cut the power of all machinery not vital to your function, and cover any symbols of evil.” She glanced around the room with her left eye, then her right, as they shut off the stasis machine. She turned to the wing guy, who wore his old work beanie. “It would be best if you removed your hat.”

“W-why, does it mess with the spirits?” She blinked.

“No, I simply find it to be an eyesore.”

“Tch.” He gripped his beanie in his hand. Oliver closed his eyes, his body tense. Hang in there, professor.

The room fell to a chill, as Madam Mibbitt whispered incantations in a language long dead, her breath before her visible in the cold. The offerings levitated, as her eyes glowed an ethereal, sickly green. She twitched her staff back and forth, as an intense force swept through the room. A mortal fear filled Oliver, as he looked around at his companions, whose faces told the same. Naruto ran and hid under the table. One by one, the offerings vanished into thin air, with a puff of burning smoke. When the last was consumed, a glow emanated from the mangled professor.

A primordial force rose into the room, as they speechlessly witnessed his raw form. It was a truly indescribable being, one which they could not fully wrap their minds around. The ancient spirit they knew as Professor Pizza pulsated before them, returned to its formless, infantile state, clinging to the mortal world desperately. Madam Mibbitt’s chants remained unbroken, as the spectacle wrapped around its new vessel, slowly taking it over, as it was reborn into a new body with a psionic pull. She gripped her staff desperately as the intensity of the spirit in the rattling room grew. They felt the manifest of millenia upon millenia of wisdom and knowledge, hand in hand with the burden of indescribable madness, surround the ancient spirit, calling out to them, as in the blink of an eye, life was shunted into the new vessel. A calm filled the dark room, as everything stopped. Total silence fell over the room, as the old woman propped herself up with her knotted staff.

The four of them gazed intently at the giant boneless wing, waiting for it to move. Oliver fidgeted with his hands, as the pins and needles feeling spread throughout his body. After seconds which felt like years, the vessel shifted slightly to the side. Oliver shakily exhaled.

“…THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE…HEY!!! YOU’RE NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE!!!”

“Professor! You’re alive!!!” Oliver and Marcus rushed towards the professor, embracing his garlicky form as their eyes burned. The wing guy’s face lit up as the boneless wing rose with consciousness. Even after the radiant display that he had just witnessed, Oliver still couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“…FASCINATING! I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE THROES OF LIMBO, REINCARNATED INTO A NEW EXPERTLY HANDCRAFTED, AFFORDABLE, AND MEDIUM-HEAT PHYSICAL BODY! COULD THIS BE THE WORK OF MY DUTIFUL FORMER EMPLOYEES AND… WHAT APPEARS TO BE MADAM MIBBITT, THE SOOTHSAYER?!” Marcus beamed with relief.

“Uh, yeah Professor, that’s correct.”

“OF COURSE IT IS CORRECT, MARCUS CHANG! FOR THAT IS WHY I HAVE PONTIFICATED IT TO THE ENTIRE ROOM!”

“My reputation precedes me.” Madam Mibbitt wore a sly, crooked grin.

“AH YES, THE SECOND-GREATEST MIND IN THE KNOWN MULTIVERSE REGARDING THE NATURE OF SPIRITS AND UNDEAD, OF COURSE. MARVELOUS!”

“Well, at least he’s still humble,” Marcus bent down and muttered in Oliver’s furry ear. Naruto sniffed the Professor’s spicy new vessel, and sneezed, before shaking his head and chewing on the wing guy’s pant leg. Oliver’s face flashed with urgency through his brief happiness.

“Professor Pizza! We need your help! The- er, Mobius! It’s consuming my homeworld for energy! Please, you’ve got to help us!” Marcus turned around quickly.

“THEN THERE’S NO TIME TO WASTE, NEWCOMER. NOW IS THE TIME TO ACT! NAY… TO BRAINSTORM!!!” Oliver felt a mix of uncertainty and relief wash over him. He looked up at the Wing Guy.

“Good work, mate.” The wing guy’s smile said more than any words ever could. Madam Mibbitt stepped forward.

“I am loathe to interrupt a reunion, but it is time for your payment.” Wing Guy stepped in front of Naruto with a defiant look on his face, as Oliver tried to intervene.

“Easy, let’s just-”

“I don’t think so.” Madam Mibbitt’s eyes narrowed, as her wide smile turned into a wrathful anger. The wing guy floated in the air as invisible chains wrapped around his neck and racked his soul, as her face warped into a cruel and sadistic grin.

“You dare cross a witch, foolish boy?! Surely your mother never warned you as a child! There are many fates far worse than death!”

“Madam Mibbitt please! Here, you can take Naruto! We didn’t mean any offense, really!” Marcus rushed over to help as Oliver pleaded, while Cyrus stood by, watching silently. She dropped the Wing Guy, who crumpled on the ground like a gasping, whimpering ragdoll. She stepped closer as Naruto backed away. “I will now take the beebo.”

“Okay, here.” Marcus picked up Naruto, who squirmed and hissed. Madam Mibbitt gently floated the creature towards her, as he sprayed ink on the bars of the invisible, spectral cage, turning them black. It looked desperately at the Wing Guy, who placed a hand on the ghastly bars.

“I’m gonna miss you, buddy. I’m sorry…” Madam Mibbitt took the half-invisible cage into her green hands.

“Easy now, little one.” She whispered an incantation as it fell asleep, before placing it on the lily.

“Before I depart…” She turned to Marcus. “A voice, a spirit calls to you from the other side.”

“Huh? Me?” Marcus looked confused.

“Yes, large one, it yearns to commune with you.” Madam Mibbitt’s outstretched face scrunched slightly. “It is actually quite annoying.”

“Huh, what’s it saying?” Madam Mibbitt’s bulging eyes glowed a sickly green as she attempted to establish a connection with it.

“My, this one is quite headstrong…” Suddenly, her body began to tremble and quake. A shrill howl erupted from the depths of her being as she fought to keep control, as her joints cracked and she spit up black bile onto the floor. Marcus jumped back with fright as the otherworldly force possessed her body.

“Madam Mibbitt?… Madam Mibbitt?!” The room glowed cold and dark, as everything not bolted to the ground began to float in the air.

“OH BOY! I HAVEN’T WITNESSED A POSSESSION THIS POWERFUL IN DECADES!!!”

“Oliver, where’s that book of incantations?!”

“I don’t know! I think it got destroyed in the blast!!!” The inky cage vanished in thin air, as Naruto groggily stumbled off the lotus in a half-awake panic, his fur sticking up in every direction as his muscles stretched. Cyrus reached for his rifle.

“No!!!” Marcus screamed. A pillar of light erupted from the emaciated old woman’s forehead, as a third, glowing eye opened in the middle of her forehead. The uneasy calm returned to the room, the frantic breaths of all of its occupants filling the silence, as Madam Mibbitt slowly stood up, stretching her joints.

“Madam Mibbitt…?”

“Ah, jeez!” She spoke in a voice that wasn’t her own. The entity controlling her took in its wrinkly new form. “I look like an old turkey!”

Oliver and the wing guy looked at each other in confusion, as Marcus’ eyes widened.

“Tiff?! I- Tiff, is that you?!”

“Awesome! It worked!!!" The giant panda ran over and crushed Tiffany's old bones with a bear hug.

"It's really you!!! Oh my g- you're alive, man! It's really you!"

"Ack! You're crushin' me!"

"I- listen man, it was- it was all my fault, I sh-shouldnt've- I'm- I'm so sorry, man-" Tears glistened in Marcus' eyes as an intense range of emotions burst out of him.

"Seriously, it's fine, dude! Cripes, with the friggin waterworks." He playfully slugged Marcus' arm with his frail body.

"I- no, no it's not fine, you- you died!"

"I mean, I am half-tempted to kill you back right now. Anyone got somethin' I can use to bash his head in with?" The two stood there, in silence, before they both just erupted in a genuine laughter. "Missed ya, fatneck." Marcus sniffled.

"Beter hurry up grandma, your program's almost on." Tiffany's eyes flashed, as Marcus pulled him in for a tender embrace, tussling his now white, whispy hair. Tiffany narrowed his three old eyes, which flashed with recognition.

"'Sup professor? Man, what happened to you?"

"TIFFANY! WE MEET AGAIN! LIKE YOU, I HAVE RETURNED IN A NEW VESSEL. IT APPEARS YOU'VE LATCHED ONTO MADAM MIBBITT’S VESSEL IN HER WEAKENED STATE TO ONCE AGAIN EXPERIENCE THE SENSATIONS OF LIFE IN ONE OF YOUR CLASSIC HIJINKS! EGAD! SUCH MONKEYSHINES!"

"Yeah, pretty much. I don't have long."

"THERE IS NO TIME, YOUNG TIFFANY! QUICKLY, WE MUST TALK ABOUT YOUR BENEFITS! IT IS APPROACHING THAT TIME OF YEAR-"

"I just came back. Can't it wait?"

"THAT DEPENDS, YOUNG TIFFANY. DO YOU PLAN ON DYING AGAIN SOON? YOUR NEW VESSEL APPEARS AS THOUGH, AT ANY MOMENT, IT COULD COLLAPSE INTO DUST! DUST!!!"

"How friggin' old am I?" Marcus guided him away from the professor.

"Tiff, this is Oliver. He's kinda your replacement. I've told him a lot about you." Oliver politely smiled, still taking it all in.

"Er... pleasure to meet you, Tiffany." He looked down at the koala with a wide smile.

"Pleasure's all mine. Don't wear it out."

Oliver witnessed the face he had met as Madam Mibbitt acting as a whole new person, as Tiffany's raw personality shone through. On one hand, it almost felt like an honor, finally getting to meet the former delivery driver he'd heard endless stories about. He'd never seen Marcus so full of joy as the pair rejoiced. However, a part of him felt bad, watching Madam Mibbitt’s mortal vessel get taken for a joyride after she'd helped them out with the professor. Tiffany dug into Madam Mim's pocket and tossed some sort of bone carving over to Oliver.

"Catch." He caught it in his hands, nearly dropping it.

"I- what is it?"

"No idea." He looked at the little pointy carving, which had a large, demented grinning face with hollowed out nostrils. What even was this? He couldn’t just- take it. It wasn’t even theirs. He stuck it in the pocket of his khakis. He figured the least he could do was hold onto it.

As the day went on, and morning turned to mid-day, they all caught up on their rest, as the wing guy helped the professor adjust to his new body and synthesize a new formula as Marcus and Tiffany caught up. The pain still lingered, but it was as if no time had passed.

Cyrus watched on from the corner of the room through his thick dreadlocks, sketching out battle plans in silence. Whenever Marcus and Tiffany would share a laugh, Cyrus would glance over with contempt. The room, while tense, was lively, the reunion a brief reprieve from the weight of their situation. It felt great, seeing all of them here at once, trying to decompress and work towards a common goal.

Oliver rubbed the carving in his fingers, as the brash, young, three-eyed delivery driver possessing Madam Mibbitt’s old body went on, bragging about how he used to speed through town in his dad’s old convertible and shoot at people’s mailboxes with paintball guns. He’d heard so much about Tiffany that a part of him felt like he already knew him, yet meeting him in the flesh, he wasn’t sure how he felt about the guy, if he was being honest. As he’d heard multiple times before, he had quite the strong personality. That being said, he was here to help Oliver with his cause… at least he thought. He didn’t know. Why did he come back? Marcus’ excited voice and starry-eyed grin echoed throughout the room.

Cyrus suddenly got up and spoke with the professor, giving him a rundown on his data pad, before he walked over and grabbed Oliver’s arm.

“You. Let’s go. We’re gonna go run a little errand together.” Oliver looked up at him, before looking back at the room.

“Huh? Er, alright… why me?”

“You’re gonna be my backup.” Oliver’s stomach dropped, as he trailed behind Cyrus, locking the large vault door behind them. The koala nervously glanced back at the abandoned research station.

Backup? Where were they possibly going?