An unnecesarily clarified book---Chapter 1

John looked at the door.

John William Fieldson was a tall man who was 34 years, 7 months, 29 days, 11 hours, 28 minutes, 41 seconds, and 328 milliseconds old, erroneously referred to as in his "mid-30's". He was 6'2" and weighed 164.29823874827857234582345628567245624567824567284652745 lbs. He had a minor allergy to dog fur.

John looked at the door of his friend Mary's house. The door was made from spruce trees, grown from the thick forests of northern Manitoba, more specifically near the town of Churchill, population 870 and is the "Polar Bear Capital of the World".

John rested his hand on the doorknob. The doorknob was a shiny yellow, and could be mistaken as gold, but in reality was painted steel made from a door factory in Regina, Manitoba, the same Canadian province the rest of the door was made above. There was a minor scratch on it from a factory accident, but it was proved too small to see.

John turned the doorknob 92 degrees clockwise and opened the door at 83 degrees counterclockwise. The door's hinges squeaked as he opened the door, measuring at 48 decibels and started at a high D and ended at a higher A, almost in harmony.

Mary saw John enter her house, made by a local construction company located 1.73 miles north-by-northeast of her house. Mary Deborah Milton was a woman who was nearly as tall as John and was older, being 35 years, 2 months, 18 days, 11 hours, 29 minutes, 44 seconds, and 292 milliseconds old, more accuratley being referred to as in her "mid-30's" She was 5'11" and weighed 157,7287481274263476127712671256712657148937957023495347523785 lbs. She had a mild addiction to peanut butter chocolate candy.

"Hello, John" Mary said, taking 0.867 seconds to say and was delivered at 62 decibels. There was a slight Bostonian accent because her grandparents were from Agawan, Massahusetts, near Springfield.

"Hello, Mary" John said in response, taking 0.826 seconds to say and was delivered at 59 decibels. There was no accent whatsoever, but some could argue they could hear a slight Southern accent, even though John's parents were not from the South and in fact were from Huxley, Iowa, a small town located way north of Des Moines.

The two looked at each other for 2.383 seconds, not knowing what to say. The quiet hum of the air conditioner, measuring 29 decibels, was heard.

                                                                TO BE CONTINUED...