U.S. States Viewer Voting #21

The states played Mingle! The Wild West and the Rebels both lost the challenge! Both teams were up for voting, but only one state will leave today!

Candidates for voting: (11)

Colorado

Florida

Idaho

Illinois

Massachusetts

Michigan

Minnesota

Montana

Nevada

Texas

Wyoming

DC: (sighs) Just lookin' out for ya, bud. You've looked a little bit... out of it recently. Let me handle the elimination ceremony.

Gekko0923: (smiles) Um... alright. Thanks.

DC: So, with him out of the way, let's get to it! Last time, the viewers ranked their four least favorite states. The worst state got 4, second-worst 3, third-worst 2, and fourth-worst 1. Whichever state got the most points is out of here! But luckily, even though two teams are UFE, it's only one state getting the Italy's boot!

First three states safe are from the Wild West. Colorado with 0, Idaho with 1, and Wyoming with 2 points respectively. Guess being a couple doesn't attract a lot of hate.

Montana: Wait! You and Colorado are a thing?

Wyoming: No, it's not what it looks like-

Colorado: DC, back off. This is none of your business to reveal to everyone. How did you know about this anyway?

DC: I know.... everything. About you. (sky dims to a darker shade)

Texas: What's all this hooterin' 'bout love triangles? Y'all are damn states of America.

Massachusetts: Well, western states ARE younger. They're basically teenagers age-wise. I like it here on the East Coast. Full of respectable, mature people. Except for Maine and New Hampshire.

DC: We'll see if your "maturity" will pay off, because you're not the next one safe! It's Florida with 5, Texas with 7 points and Montana with 8 points!

Wyoming: Hey, you okay?

Montana: I just... I think... I need to talk about this. With someone else.

Idaho: I'm always here for you, buddy. Let's go after the ceremony.

DC: We're in double digits territory now! Massachusetts and Minnesota are safe with 14 & 17 points!

Minnesota: What did I do wrong?

Illinois: Exist. You're a wet noodle of a state.

DC: Not so fast, Illinois, because you're in the bottom three with Michigan and Nevada! It was quite close, with two states safe with 18 points and the eliminated state having 20 points.

Without further ado, the two states safe are...

drumroll please...

Michigan and Nevada!

Nevada: Damn. Every vote from here on out will be a gamble for me. I need to be careful.

Illinois: What?! These stupid viewers only voted me out because I was a villain! Who will bring the excitement to the lore now?

Michigan: Go home and cry about it.

Illinois: F you, Michigan. You know why you have two parts? Because your life is broken as f.

Michigan: You know, you're the one that's broken. It's literally Chicago vs. the rest of the state.

Illinois: Well, at least I'll have a decently sized home to go to... Detroit on the other hand...

Massachusetts: Wait? The eliminated states go home? Where do they go?

Idaho: We've been trying to figure that out... DC? Care to share?

DC: (nervously) Oh, they just go to a motel. Hehe.

50th: Arkansas

49th: Indiana

48th: Mississippi

47th: Nebraska

46th: Oklahoma

45th: Tennessee

44th: Delaware

43rd: Wisconsin

42nd: Rhode Island

41st: Ohio

40th: California

39th: Louisiana

38th: Alabama

37th: New Jersey

36th: North Dakota

35th: Missouri

34th: Kansas

33rd: South Dakota

32nd: New York

31st: Connecticut

30th: Utah

29th: Georgia

28th: Illinois

Wild West: Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Nevada, Colorado

Outsiders: Alaska, Hawaii, Vermont, Washington, Oregon

Rebels: Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Florida, Texas

Avengers: Pennsylvania, New Mexico, Arizona, Virginia

Underdogs: Iowa, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Maine

Cardinals: South Carolina, West Virginia, North Carolina, Maryland

(Puerto Rico is exploring a nearby area. He sees a mysterious wall, which blocked off a circular area)

Puerto Rico: Interesting. (yanks the door) Locked.

(He hears loud counting.)

LOUD VOICE: One! Two! Three!

Puerto Rico: What the hell?

Wait a minute. (He hears a loud yell from a collective crowd, maybe hundreds by the sound of their voices)

LOUD VOICE: For years, I've told you that you're weak. Told you that you're not enough. But after today, I like our odds.

Puerto Rico(to himself): What odds? This is definitely another country speaking, definitely an enemy of the United States. Speaking of US, I haven't seen him in a while. Is he doing alright? His country is literally falling apart, and he's doing...

(gunshot)

Puerto Rico: Oh s***.

Meanwhile, up in Canada...

(Canada is watching a hockey game as DC knocks on the door)

Canada: Hello. Care for a hot beverage?

DC: No. I appreciate your kindness, but I'll be very straightforward with you. It's about your political state.

Canada: That's none of your business.

DC: Oh, but it is. Just let him go already.

Canada: But Quebec's not ready...

DC: Oh, but your southern neighbor literally broke into dozens of parts! Why can't you break into two?

Canada: You're a madman.

DC: No. Quite the opposite, really. You are less than me. Just look at your people.

Canada: Sure. Then why the hell did you come here?

DC: I have a deal that will... keep you together. Accept, and I'll do everything in my power to stop Quebec from gaining independence. Decline, and you can kiss your...

Canada: Try me. If you can't do it for America, then how can you do it for me?

DC: Times are changing. And like the times, I have adapted.

Canada: Fine. What's the deal?

In the grasslands...

(M Alliance)

Massachusetts: Good job, guys. We all made it through this one.

Michigan: Right. But Florida and Texas are well-liked. Lose again, and it could be one of us.

Minnesota: I'm just... hurt that I got that many votes.

Massachusetts: I have a plan. Whenever Texas and Florida reminisce about the South, Texas always seems a little bit... out of it.

Michigan: Right. We exploit that trauma, and boom! Viewers pick a side and we're safe.

Minnesota: Um, guys? If our plan is aired in the actual episode, viewers will hate on us instead.

Massachusetts: No chance! This meeting is secret. I don't see any cameras.

Michigan: I have another idea. We need to branch out into other teams. I'm thinking of recruiting Montana.

Massachusetts: Ah yes! Another M. The tension between that naive love triangle will be a problem, but if we support him, Colorado will seem to be in the wrong.

Michigan: Yep. And Nevada is the most hated on their team right now.

Minnesota: Um, this is all kinda manipulative...

Massachusetts: Well, it's the game we signed up for, Minni. You know what else we could do? Make Nevada paranoid about his standing on the team, and then tell him to stir up drama between Wyoming/Montana/Colorado to deflect attention off himself.

Michigan: If all goes well, Colorado or Nevada will become the next hate magnet for the team. Let's do this.

Meanwhile...

Idaho: Hey. You okay?

Montana: Yes. Well, no. Well, I don't know. It just really hurts, seeing Wyoming and Colorado together. She didn't even bother to tell me respectfully.

Idaho: I mean, they are the same shape...

Montana: Idaho.

Idaho: Sorry. What I want to say is... don't try to force love that doesn't exist. That's no way to live. If Wyoming truly loves you, then she'll soon realize it. If not, you can't do anything about it.

Montana: Alright. Thanks.

Idaho: Why don't you come eat with me for the night?

Montana: Sure.

On the Outsiders...

Alaska: You're still mad at them, aren't you?

Hawaii: No. Mad isn't the right word. It's just, every time I see the Lower 48, I just get... empty inside.

Alaska: Yeah. I get that.

Hawaii: And they all think I'm cool, with all my beaches and stuff, but it's just not the same. That's not real friendship.

Alaska: You know what Russia told me before he left?

Hawaii: You wanna talk about that?

Alaska: Lonely people are bound by the value of being lonely. Therefore, they shouldn't be lonely.

Hawaii: Ew. That's horrible.

(They laugh as Vermont, Washington, and Oregon walk in)

Washington: What are you guys doing over here?

Hawaii: Just laughing at Alaska's horrible life advice.

Alaska: Russia. Russia's horrible advice.

Oregon: Well, don't just sit there alone. Our team is literally bound by being "outsider" states. We're all weird here. We should stick together as a team.

Hawaii: You're right.

Vermont: Come join us for dinner at Idaho's. Guess what she's cooking up?

Alaska: Mashed potatoes?

Vermont: Yep. Let's go!

Virginia: DC just left this note for the challenge. He said he had to go. I'll read it.

It says the following:

Congrats! Only 27 of you left. That's three cubed!

Therefore, this challenge will involve you being split into groups of three. Each group will have a mini battle royale on a small platform I have provided using only their bare hands.

In each battle, 1st place scores 3 points, 2nd scores 1, and 3rd scores none!

The two teams with the least points/member (i.e. 8 points with 5 members is a score of 1.6) will be up for elimination, but only one state will be eliminated!

In this challenge, the following are advantageous in the battles:

In order of importance:

1. Land area (larger body)

2. Population (more energy & stamina)

3. HDI (better fighting technique)

Notes:

Since there are three people in each battle, the two weaker ones can team up to kill off the stronger one first. Plan accordingly!

There are always chances for an upset. Though, the larger gap in these three categories, the less likely an upset will happen.

There will not be any two states from the same team in the same battle.

Kentucky: Let's begin!

North Carolina: Yes! Can't wait to destroy these guys! Sorry it couldn't be you, South Carolina.

South Carolina: No. Be grateful you can't fight me.

New Mexico: Oh no. I'm scared. What if I fail?

Arizona: Don't be nervous. You're fifth in land area. You shouldn't fare too poorly.

New Hampshire: Oh dear! Who made these assignments?

Texas: This ain't skill-based matchmaking.

New Hampshire: I didn't want to get stuck with the two biggest guys in the nation! Um... why don't you two fight each other first? I'll gladly take second.

Texas: No. We pick you off first. Then the real men will have a little fight.

Alaska punches New Hampshire off with one punch.

Texas and Alaska brawl. Alaska is bigger, but Texas, while still huge, has nearly the same power due to his population. After a close battle and collisions that lead to earthquakes, Texas pushes Alaska off the platform.

Texas: (extending his hand): Gave me a hell of a fight. Well done. Not bad for an outsider.

Alaska: Thanks.

Virginia: Kentucky, I'll get West Virginia out first. Stay out of the way.

Kentucky: Hol' up here. I've got some unfinished business with ya too.

West Virginia: Team up with me. Please.

Kentucky: My pleasure.

Virginia: You're making a mistake. Now you'll get third instead of second. You and WV think separating from me makes you better somehow? Now look at you. What is it? 46th and 48th in every national ranking? Your sorry a**es can't survive on your own.

West Virginia: But we're still in this game.

West Virginia attacks Virginia first. Kentucky soon joins in on the attack on her. But most of Virginia's anger is focused on West Virginia. She manages to eliminate both herself and West Virginia at the same time, but West Virginia hit the ground first, so she gets third and Virginia gets second.

Kentucky: Hopefully that'll make up for lost points.

Virginia: No pressure, New Mexico! But please, don't get last!

Arizona: Quiet, Virginia. Let him fight his fight.

Washington: Idaho, thanks for inviting me to your potato dinner. Wanna team up for this one?

Idaho: Oh. For sure.

New Mexico: Guys, I... don't wanna do this. Please don't. (sobbing)

Idaho: You know what, yeah. Let's have a fair fight. No alliances.

Washington: Ok. I agree.

All three are close enough in size, but soon Washington is able to push Idaho off due to advantages in HDI and population.

New Mexico: Alright, Washington. Let's finish this.

Washington: No pressure. Just try your best.

But ultimately, Washington wins. New Mexico doesn't hate his own performance, though.

Massachusetts: Well, well, well, if it isn't... you.

Maine: Don't talk all sassy and innocent.

Nevada: I've got this in the bag. You two wanna kill each other now?

Maine: It'll be my pleasure.

Massachusetts: What's your problem with me, anyway?

Maine: My name is literally pronounced "main" and you take up all the fame of New England.

Massachusetts: You chose to leave. We could have been great together!

Maine: Well, at least I'm the bigger person.

Massachusetts: Nevada, kick her off first. You better ally with the Rebels team. You know that if the Wild West loses again, you're done. I can make sure that won't happen.

Nevada: Um, nah. I'll just let this play out.

Maine shoves Massachusetts off. Then Nevada grabs Maine and dropkicks her to Quizmaster's house- I mean, Canada.

Canada: Care for a hot beverage?

Maine: (sighs) Why not?

Pennsylvania: Oh, nice. The other battles were definitely chosen intentionally. But it looks like the three of us are just a random collection of three.

Minnesota: Honestly, you two seem like nice guys. And I'm a pacifist.

Oregon: Me too. I'm a pacifist who borders the Pacific Ocean!

Pennsylvania: Cool. So we're not fighting?

Massachusetts: No! Minnesota! What are you doing? Get them!

Michigan: Yeah, man. WE desperately need this win.

Minnesota attacks Oregon, the physically larger threat first. Oregon fights back, but you could tell both of them were restraining themselves. Pennsylvania, a fairly competent fighter due to his population, pushes both pacifists off when their fight comes to a standstill, with Oregon placing 3rd and Minnesota placing 2nd.

Minnesota: Good game. Can't hate you for that.

Pennsylvania: Yeah. This is an odd challenge, isn't it?

Florida: Hey, SC. I know the Southern alliance fell apart with all of our friends getting eliminated. But us red Southern states that remain should band together.

South Carolina: It would be my pleasure.

Colorado: Oh, please. Bonding over political lines? For what, SC? So you can be 43rd instead of 44th in every category?

South Carolina: Shut up.

Colorado: Don't make this more political than it has to be.

Florida: Oh, but it is. The viewers naturally hate the South more. It's time I do something about it.

They both push Colorado off.

South Carolina: Florida, give me this win.

Florida: Why should I? You don't feel confident in your chances?

South Carolina: I don't. My stupid rivalry with NC will attract hate.

Florida: Pull him back into our alliance. That's a command. Just giving you a plot point so the viewers will keep you. Now jump off before I push you.

South Carolina jumps off.

Maryland: All right, Vermont. See last round? We should do the same. Two blue states vs. one red one. Push Wyoming off first.

Vermont: I see your point.

Wyoming: Wait! It wouldn't be such a wise idea to try and beat me. I'm larger than the entirety of New England! One of you should betray the other and accept 2nd place!

Vermont: I don't really want to fight.

Maryland: Then if you won't fight, you won't mind losing, right?

Wyoming: Sorry, buddy. I have to give this one to Maryland.

Wyoming pushes Vermont off, and he doesn't try to fight back.

Vermont: I'm starting to understand Alaska and Hawaii's concern now. Maybe... there is no room in America for states like me.

Maryland: Let's do this.

Wyoming has the size advantage, while Maryland has a higher population. HDI is nearly equal. But can Maryland pull off an upset?

She cannot. Wyoming wins!

Iowa: I think there's a trend here...

Hawaii: For real. Is this game rigged or something?

North Carolina: Nah. I'm more of a lean red state.

Seeing Iowa as the bigger threat, North Carolina wrestles with Iowa. Hawaii steps back, hoping for second place at least. But then, North Carolina lunges to face Hawaii.

Hawaii: Woah! Chill! I'm chill!

North Carolina: After seeing how you handle natural disasters, you're definitely not chill.

Hawaii: Yo! California's much worse!

Iowa: You know what's not chill? Duke choking so damn hard! And I'm about to pull off a similar upset with you!

Iowa pulls off an upset by pushing North Carolina off the platform! After that, it's Iowa's size advantage that gives her the win over Hawaii.

Michigan: Montana. Ally with me.

Montana: What? Why?

Michigan: I'll explain later. But long story short: Minni and Massachusetts are aligned with me. For now, just eliminate Arizona and then I'll self-sacrifice.

Arizona: No! Western states have to stick together!

Michigan: Montana! Focus!

Montana sees Wyoming and Colorado talking together. Laughing together. Nothing too close, but enough to distract him.

Arizona sees this chance and makes a move, pushing Montana off the platform.

Arizona: Sorry. I gave you your chance.

Now it's Arizona against Michigan. After a tough wrestle, Michigan pulls off a slight upset.

Michigan: Phew. This rust belt state has still got it.

Arizona: Damn. Unbelievable. Good game, everyone.

Remember, the two teams with the least points per member will be up for elimination!

It was 3 points for 1st, 1 for 2nd, and 0 for 3rd!

Wild West = 6 points/5 members = 1.2

Outsiders = 5 points/5 members = 1.0

Rebels = 10 points/5 members = 2.0

Avengers = 6 points/4 members = 1.5

Underdogs = 7 points/4 members = 1.75

Cardinals = 2 points/4 members = 0.5

With that, it seems like the Rebels win the challenge, while the Outsiders and the Cardinals are the bottom two.

Here's what will happen:

All 9 members of the Outsiders and the Cardinals will be up for elimination. Only the worst state will be eliminated. How do we determine who will be eliminated?

Well, here's the format:

BOTTOM FOUR

Just like last time, which was months ago, list your four least favorite states from the group below.

1. Arkansas

2. Indiana

3. Nebraska

4. Oklahoma

In this case, #1(Arkansas) would be your least favorite state, and #4 is a state you still dislike. For each vote, #1 gets 4 points, #2 gets 3, #3 gets 2, and #4 gets 1. The state with the most elimination points will leave the show!

Here are your nine candidates for elimination! They've each prepared a short pitch to you!

Alaska

Pitch: Don't vote me! I love my team, and I love this country, even if the country doesn't love me back.

Hawaii

Pitch: Again, your vacation destination is at stake here! Don't let the workaholic mindset of the Lower 48 get to you! Also, I hope that you protect Alaska as well!

Maryland

Pitch: Again, the heart of the Mid-Atlantic is caught in-between the drama between some mid states. That sounded cooler in my head.

North Carolina

Pitch: Vote South Carolina out! Please! Now's my chance! You have to notice that!

Oregon

Pitch: I'm a pacifist. Need I say more? With all this drama and alliances, it's good to have a state that's just chill.

South Carolina

Pitch: My dynamic with Florida easily makes me more interesting. Vote North Carolina out, I don't him as a plot device anymore.

Vermont

Pitch: I'm a pacifist. Oh wait, has that pitch been taken already? I hope you're seeing that everyone on the Outsiders team is similar. That's why we've all bonded, so please don't vote any of us!

Washington

Pitch: I mean, I haven't really done anything wrong. I did win my heat, and I've been nice to all of my teammates!

West Virginia

Pitch: If you ask me, a team with four members shouldn't lose anyone else. Vote the Outsiders out. Peace! Mountain Mama out!

1. Vote in the comments.

2. Use list format with four states to eliminate. Explanation of the voting method can be found above.

3. Vote by July 25 at 11:59 PM PST!