No Hacking: The Short

North Korea: I will hack into UK's account!

UK thinks "but my password is Llanfairpwll...gogogoch"

Please enter your password.

[London]

Wrong password. You have 2 more tries.

[England]

Wrong. You have 1 more try.

[English]

Wrong. You have no more tries. You are now locked out.

UK: Ha, you fool!

North Korea: Hmph.

And now, the story.

Alternate Future of Afro-Eurasia and Oceania in Text: Chapter 5

UK: Hey Ireland!

Ireland: Yes?

UK: Join me.

Ireland: Never!

UK: Then I will take you.

Ireland: Try me!

UK: You are forgetting about Northern Ireland, right?

Ireland: Oh no! I did forget! Now the sea can't protect me!

UK: Now try me!

Ireland: Noooo!

Ireland has been defeated.

Brittany: We want independence!

France: You wish!

Brittany: Ok...

Brittany wishes upon a shooting star.

Brittany gets independence.

Brittany: Wow! It worked! Thanks France!

France: Wait what? Aw sh-

Narrator: Plot twist!

Meanwhile in Africa...

Portugal: I will take some colonies!

Portugal takes Guinea, Sierra Leone, and Liberia, and names it Africa Occidental.

Liberia: Are you kidding?

Portugal: No.

U.K.: My turn!

U.K. takes Senegal and Gambia to make British Gambia.

France takes Tunisia to form South France.

Algeria: Tunisia! No!!!

Egypt: We must unite to repel the invasion!

???: Come here Africa!

African countries: Who are you?

Asian Empire: Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, Japan and China!

France: Oh come on!

Chechnya, Tatarstan, Karelia: We want independence!!!

Russia: No!

Chechnya, Tatarstan, Karelia: Kazakhstan! Finland!

Kazakhstan, Finland: Happy to help!

Russia: Oh my god...

After 1 year and 2 months...

Russia: Someone help me!

Finland, Kazakhstan: Someone help us!

Norway: Wow, everyone needs help.

Sweden: Yeah. It irritates me that everybody needs independence. Why did they join their country anyways?

Norway: Exactly, it makes no sense.

Belarus: Russia! I heard you needed help! I'll help you!

Georgia: Abkhazia, please stop.

Abkhazia: No!

Georgia: Please?

Abkhazia: You wish.

Narrator: Here we go again with the wishing star.

Georgia: I wish Abkhazia would stop. Oh my god! My eyes!!!

World News

BREAKING NEWS

A meteor has just struck Abkhazia, but Georgia and Russia remain unharmed. We do not know what caused it, but a local says it was a wish from Georgia. Georgian police are investigating. Live from Georgia, this is World News. Airing all over the world™!

Russia: Georgia. Stop being bad.

Georgia: I hate you Russia...

After 1 more month of fighting...

Chechnya: No! Tatarstan! Karelia! I will live on for you! AHH!!!

Chechnya is now independent.

Russia: How?!?

Asian Empire: I will see if some other countries will join...

Later...

join.asian-empire.com (not a real website)

Countries that are requesting join:

Malaysia

Brunei

Myanmar

Laos

Cambodia

Vietnam

Both Koreas

India

Pakistan

Bangladesh

Asian Empire: Okay, you can join.

11 countries: Yey!

France: Hmm... Hey Brittany!

Brittany: Yes?

France: Would you like some soldiers to create an empire?

Brittany: You're really helping me?

France: Yes! You need to be like me if you're going to be independent.

Brittany: Thanks France!

Algeria: Come on...

Mauritania: I will attack Morocco!

Morocco: Nope!

After 1 month of fighting...

Western Sahara: I will help whoever helps me get independence.

Mauritania: I will!

Western Sahara: Okay.

Western Sahara is independent.

Morocco: Oh no! I surrender!

Mauritania: Western Sahara!

Western Sahara: Yes?

Mauritania: You can have your land.

Mali: Niger!

Niger: Yes?

Mali: We should unite!

Niger: Great idea!

Mali and Niger form to make Mager.

Mager: That's better!

Togo, Ghana: Can we join?

Mager: Sure, I guess...

In China

China: Wait what is happening? I feel ill...

Mongolia: Not another state.

Xinjiang gains independence.

Xinjiang: C'mere Mongolia!

Mongolia: Oh god.

Asian Empire: Wait what happened to you China?

China (Asian Empire) facepalms.

South Africa: Could we form an African Union or something? Southern Africa is the only place that hasn't been annexed.

Botswana, Namibia: Sure!

Zambia: I don't want to be part of it.

South Africa: Why not?

Zambia: Uhhh...

In Europe...

Zambian Beloukraine: Zambia! Please! Give independence!

Back to Africa

South Africa: Well, I won't force you. You can join anytime.

South Africa, Eswatini, Lesotho, Angola, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Namibia, Botswana, and Malawi formed South African Union.

???: We want independence!

Germany: Who are you?

???: Luxembourg!

Germany: But you already have independence.

Luxembourg: I know!!! I want more land!!!

Germany: Fine, let's make a deal.

South-West Germany is annexed by Luxembourg through a deal.

In the Americas...

Canada: What a great movie! Sure wish I had time to go to the restroom that you don't even rest in, and the comfort room that doesn't provide ANY comfort!

Brazil: That isn't a movie. It's an Eastern Hemisphere War.

Canada: Oh... But my joke was funny right?

Brazil: No. (it was so funny)

In Africa...

South African Union: Want to join now Zambia?

Zambia is unresponsive.

South African Union: Zambia?

In Europe...

Poland-Lithuania: I think he's... wait... NO! ZAMBIA!!! STOP BEING BADDDDD

Back to Africa (again)

South African Union: Ok, whenever.

Zambia: No. *says it like a wittle baby*

South African Union: Then we will take you!

Zambia: NOOO!!!!

Zambia is defeated. Its colonies are reindependent.

South African Union: They had colonies?!?

Beloukrainian Union: Yeah, I was one of them...

South African Union: Oh, I see.

In Oceania...

Tonga: Is it Tonga ti-

Nauru, Fiji, Vanuatu: No!

Tonga: How dare you!

Tonga colonizes Nauru, Fiji, and Vanuatu.

New Zealand: Why are you colonizing our friends, Tonga?

Tonga: Because I'm not Tonga.

New Zealand: Then who are you?

Tonga opens their Chromebook.

"change/country-name.org"

Change your name today!

Old name: [Tonga]

New name: [People's Republic of Tonga]

Apply

Click the button!

Tonga clicks apply.

People's Republic of Tonga: That's better.

New Zealand: Oh, so your communist now?

People's Republic of Tonga: Yeah.

New Zealand: I don't know how to feel about this...

In Africa...

Mager: Wanna have an embassy in each others countries?

South African Union: Sure!

Embassies are implemented, peace treaties are made between Mager and South African Union to form the Mag-Safrica Union.

Ethiopia: I'm not surprised.

Djibouti: About what? The treaty?

Ethiopia: I'm not being colonized.

Djibouti: Oh, ok. But so am I now!

Ethiopia: I guess... the only countries left are me, you, Mager, South African Union, Gabon, both Congos, and Tanzania that haven't been colonized yet.

Gabon: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, help, Italians!

Ethiopia: Hmm... scratch off Gabon off that list.

Gabon: I don't want to be attacked!

Italy: You wish.

Narrator: No no not this again! No more meteors! No more shooting stars!

Gabon throws a lucky coin into a well.

Gabon repels attacks from Italians, ten times.

Narrator facepalms.

Ethiopia: Write that back down, also put in "good luck works".

Djibouti: But there is no list!

Ethiopia: Rightttttt!

Italy: Okay, I wish I would colonize Gabon!

Gabon: USING MY WEAPON AGAINST ME? I will get you for this, I will!!!

Italy colonizes Gabon. It is named New Italy.

Canada: Next ti-

Beloukraine: New name! Anyways, next time on Alternate Future of the World...

Canada: Hey!

Poland-Lithuania will try to colonize. But a new nation has other plans... Who is this new nation? And what is to be of the world? Find out next time on... Alternate Future of the World!

Hope you enjoyed! Bye!