The Veggie Caliphate - Downfall

MiecraftMan has long dreamed of the day he arrives back in Abuja.  That day is now closer than ever.  Accompanied by his small army, he drives through the Nigerian countryside and approaches closer and closer to the capital city.

Jordan is experiencing a new sense of freedom as he rides with MiecraftMan to Abuja.  It has been two days since he left his family to accompany MiecraftMan, and now they are almost at their destination.

Riniv has attempted multiple times to track down MiecraftMan, but to no avail.  The search drones and planes and trucks he sends out to find them return with no news, and this annoys him.  He figures he is getting closer to them in his searches, but he realizes that MiecraftMan had took a clever detour to elude him, instead of taking the shortest path.

Lake had to give it to the pirate vessel.  It had taken him across the Pacific much faster than he had anticipated.  However, he did not know how to go about his plans now that he had landed in Nigeria.  The other pirates wanted to go to Abuja and Riniv, but Lake was smarter than them and could see the foolishness in that plan.  He would have to decide soon though, as he knew his window of opportunity to stop MiecraftMan was closing fast.

The pirates were fools, and Lake was glad he had split ways with them.  As soon as they had docked in Lagos, they went straight to the authorities asking for an audience with Riniv.  They had paid dearly for their stupidity, and were shot on the spot.  Lake had watched it all unfold from a distance, and then quietly slipped away into the city.

After what had happened to the pirates, he knew he could not reveal his identity to anybody who may be in touch with Riniv.  He walked the streets of Lagos for a couple hours, until he spotted a taxi.  He waved it down.

“To Abuja, please,” he asked.  The taxi driver complied, and soon the Lagos skyline had faded into the horizon.

“Quiet lad, you are,” the driver inquired.

Lake raised an eyebrow.  “Why do you wish to know?”

“We don’t get many foreigners in the Caliphate anymore.  Care to tell me your story?”

“How bold of you to assume I’m foreign,” Lake snarled.

“Apologies, sir,” the driver replied.

After a long, silent car ride, the taxi had arrived in Abuja.  There was nobody in sight, although a rat scurried along the street.  “Right here is great, thank you,” said Lake.

The driver brought the car to a halt.  “You must pay, sir,” the driver said.

“Of course, of course,” said Lake, fidgeting with the car door.  “How does one unlock these?”

“It is unlocked already,” said the taxi driver, confused.

“It won’t budge,” said Lake.  “Perhaps from the outside?”

The driver got out of his seat, and moved around the car towards Lake’s door.  He tugged on it, and it flew open.

Lake rose from his seat, and exited the taxi.  “Thank you for your service,” he said.

“You owe me-”.  A gash of red appeared on the cabby’s throat, and Lake tucked the dagger back into his sleeve.  He maneuvered to the driver’s seat, and pressed down on the gas.

The palace ruled the Abuja skyline, and the vast Royal Farms sprawled out below it.  Soon, MiecraftMan would arrive here.  For now, Lake would have to wait.  It was very dangerous being this close to Riniv’s residence, but Lake just couldn’t see a workaround.

On a dead-end street a distance from the palace, Lake spotted a shabby old building, damaged from the weather.  It was clear that nobody lived there, so Lake made his way inside.  Here, he would wait for MiecraftMan to roll in.

Graffiti decorated the walls inside, and cobwebs clung to the ceiling.  Judging from his surroundings, Lake figured this place had been used as a criminal hideout multiple times before.

A battered, stained couch was located in what was once the living room, but it was good enough.  After getting into a comfortable position, Lake began to drift asleep.

“Wake up,” a gruff, male voice commanded.  Lake’s eyes darted open.  Oh, what a fool he had been!  How could he let himself get caught!  His hand moved to the dagger in his sleeve, but he reconsidered when he noticed the gun pointed at his head.

“On your feet.”  The man was dressed in a VC military outfit.

Lake stood and glared at the man.  The dagger was confiscated, and his hands were quickly cuffed.  He found himself being marched out the door and towards the palace by three VC soldiers.

“You criminals always think you can hide out in there,” the soldier who woke Lake said.  “Well, you were seen.  Instead, you’ll be getting an audience with His Majesty.”

Lake said nothing, but his mind was racing.  How could he slip out of this mess!  He came to no conclusion though, and eventually found himself standing in front of Riniv’s chambers.

A soldier knocked, and the doors swung open.  There Riniv stood, dressed in elegant white robes. “Oh, Lake.  How you have returned,” the dictator grinned.

“Your Majesty.”  Lake bowed sarcastically.

“Don’t flatter me, fool.  You failed your mission and you know it,” said Riniv.  The soldiers stood there, looking confused.  It was then that Riniv took notice of them, and he dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

“Come inside Lake, let’s have a chat,” said Riniv, leading Lake into his room.  On Riniv’s walls hung dozens of polished swords.

“You’ve noticed my treasures,” Riniv remarked.

“The swords?” asked Lake.

“Indeed.  Swordfighting is a beautiful sport, and I’ve taken quite the liking to it.  This is my personal collection.”

“How good are you?” Lake inquired.

“Funny you would ask.  Anyways, you may be wondering why I’ve brought you here,” said Riniv.

“To run me through with one of your ‘treasures’, because I failed you or whatnot” Lake snorted.

“Enticing, but no.  It’s a mystery why you came back to this country after your disgrace, but if I had to guess, it’s something to do with MiecraftMan.  How you hate losing, my dear Lake!”

“Good guess,” said Lake, raising an eyebrow.  “Do continue.”

“Him and his ragtag group of rebels have evaded me for almost a week now.  I anticipated their arrival from the southwest, but my forces did not intercept them.  Do you know what will happen if they arrive in Abuja, Lake?” said Riniv.

“No.  Enlighten me,” Lake scoffed.

“It will stir up unrest, possibly even a rebellion amongst citizens.  We can’t have that, now can we,” Riniv said.

“What do you want me to do about it,” asked Lake.

“Surely you should be jumping with joy at a chance to thwart your dear old friend MiecraftMan,” Riniv began.  “An individual moves faster, more discretely, than an army.  I want you to go out and find them.  When you do encounter them, call me immediately.  I will act from there,” Riniv commanded.

“Find MiecraftMan, tell you, yeah yeah,” said Lake.

“Very good.  But do not take matters into your own hands and try to… eliminate… MiecraftMan.  Understood?”

“Can I like, shoot him once?  Get him in the leg again, just like on the boat?” asked Lake.

“No.”

“Very well, then.   Thank you for the opportunity, Your Majesty,” said Lake.

Riniv turned to walk away, then stopped as if he recalled something.  “By the way Lake, they’ll probably arrive from the northwest.”

“Oh, indeed?” grinned Lake.

“You’re dismissed.  Go do my bidding now,” said Riniv.

Abuja was in eyesight of MiecraftMan and his party.  The current plan was to find an empty building on the outskirts of the city, and make base there until further action could be taken.

What would have normally been a quick trip down the Nigerian countryside had turned into two days of traveling.  It had paid out though, as MiecraftMan had not yet encountered Riniv’s army.  Now that the capital city was so close, they were at a higher risk than ever.

“How do you plan on taking down Riniv?” Jordan asked.  The boy could usually be found with MiecraftMan.

It was at that moment that MiecraftMan realized that he had never really thought that far.  He had planned up to arriving in Abuja, but taking down the dictator was a completely different story.  “We’ll trap him in the palace, hopefully.  Then we can march in and get rid of him.”  As solid of a plan as any.

An abandoned warehouse was located just inside of the city limits, and MiecraftMan’s party made camp there.  It was out of sight from any residential or workplace district, and very few people could be sighted walking the streets.  The vans were safely hidden, although it was much harder making room for the 130 VC soldiers.  Eventually, everybody was accommodated for.

Night quickly fell upon the party, and everybody but MiecraftMan lay asleep.  MiecraftMan just couldn’t rest, though.  He knew tomorrow would likely be the day he would face Riniv, and his mind was running through all the different scenarios and possibilities.

A muffled gasp echoed through the warehouse, as if somebody had stepped on something sharp, and MiecraftMan’s keen ears picked it up.  His eyes darted towards where the sound came from, but it was too dark to make anything out.  He stood up hesitantly, not sure whether the slight commotion was worth waking the sleeping party.  It could have just been a soldier stirring in his sleep.

Jordan, who had bedded down next to MiecraftMan, yawned.  “Why are you awake, sir?” the boy asked.

MiecraftMan glanced at him, and put a finger to his mouth.  “Feign sleep,” he warned.  “Something may be wrong.”

A minute passed, and MiecraftMan was getting ready to call the noise off as nothing and go back to laying down.  As he began to lower his guard, he felt a cold, sharp blade pressed against his throat.

“Long time no see, old friend,” Lake whispered.

“Who… who are you?” asked MiecraftMan, his voice lowered.

“You don’t remember me?  Think back to all those long months on the Galapagos.”

“Lake,” realized MiecraftMan.

“I could cut your throat right now, before you scream and alert your soldiers,” whispered Lake.  MiecraftMan knew he was right.

“Why are you back here?  Riniv isn’t tired of you yet?” asked MiecraftMan.

“He’s been merciful.  Given me a second chance.  You however, won’t get a second chance at the throne.”

MiecraftMan heard a slight shuffle to his right.  “So, what are you waiting for, Lake?  Kill me.”

“Oh, how I wish it were that simple.  Alas, I am one man against an entire army.  How unwise that would be,” said Lake.

“Why are you here, at this warehouse, then?” MiecraftMan asked.

“To spy, obviously,” retorted Lake.

“Spies don’t reveal themselves.  Your arrogance has caused you to err, old friend,” said MiecraftMan.

“Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong.  In any case, I’ll be leaving now.  Riniv will hear about this, of course.  By the way, don’t consider waking your army.  I can slip out before anybody recognizes me.”

“Wrong.”  Lake cried out briefly, then collapsed to the ground.  Jordan had crept up behind him, and slammed an old brick onto his head.

Awoken by Lake’s cry, the army began to stir from their sleep.

“What will we do with him, MiecraftMan?  He’s out cold right now,” said Jordan.

“Tie him up, leave him here until Riniv is gone,” said MiecraftMan confidently.

“For now,” MiecraftMan addressed the whole party.  “We must pack up, and march onto the Royal Palace!  Riniv awaits!”

Riniv paced around his room.  Word had reached him just five minutes ago that a large party was moving across Abuja towards the Royal Palace, which meant that Lake had failed.  He should have expected it, but he was a little bit disapointed.

It was too late to mobilize an army, but he could ready a handful of troops to protect the palace.  He took his favorite sword out of its scabbard, and practiced his moves.  He would do something special with this blade, he was sure.

Somebody knocked on his chamber doors.  He glided across his room to open them, and was greeted with the ugly face of his advisor.  He had been in that position once, to MiecraftMan.

“There’s an army marching towards us, Your Majesty,” the advisor said.

“I know, fool!” yelled Riniv.

“Apologies, Your Majesty.” The advisor bowed.  “What do we do about it?”

“I know what we can do.”  Riniv removed a sword from the wall, and tossed it at the advisor.  “En guarde.”

The advisor looked horrified.  “But, sir…,” he began.

“Will you fight me, or shall I have you and your family executed,” asked Riniv.  “Now, go!”

Riniv was quick to attack.  He rushed at the smaller man, and the advisor hastily retreated into a wall.  Riniv moved to lunge, and the other man took a sloppy parry, which Riniv easily disengaged.  The advisor moved to attack, but Riniv caught his blade.  Riniv flicked his hand, and the advisor’s blade fell to the floor.

Riniv pointed his sword at the other man’s chest, and raised an eyebrow.

“No!  Your Majesty, please!” the advisor groveled.

“Consider this your lucky day,” said Riniv.  “Now be gone from my presence!  I more important things to consider!

The advisor scurried out of the room, and Riniv went back to pondering MiecraftMan’s attack.

“I can place troops in the Royal Garden to ambush them,” said Riniv aloud.  “They will surely make there way through there.”

Satisfied with his plan, he went back to pacing his chambers.

Some citizens gave the army a wide berth as they marched through Abuja, others joined them.  As the party approached closer and closer to the Royal Palace, MiecraftMan couldn’t help but wonder what role he would play personally in the defeat of Riniv.

“E.T.A, 30 minutes,” said a soldier, approaching MiecraftMan.

“Great.  Make sure that everybody is armed with a weapon, be it as little as a sharp stick, as necessary,” relied MiecraftMan.

“Do you expect an attack before we arrive at the Palace, sir?” asked the soldier.

“No, but Riniv will surely have guards,” MiecraftMan said.

The soldier nodded, and left to go follow MiecraftMan’s orders.

As the party turned a corner, the Palace and Royal Garden appeared into eyesight.  “The Garden opens up right at the palace’s front doors,” said MiecraftMan.  “It’s the quickest way to Riniv, so it’s the route we’ll be taking.  Stay on the path as to not trample any rare specimens.”

Closed off by 10-foot tall fences, there was only two ways in and out of the garden.  One of those was at the palace, the other was right in front of MiecraftMan.  Upon seeing the approaching army, the gatekeepers fled from their posts, and the path into the garden was clear.

MiecraftMan in the lead, the army marched two-by-two into the mileage of crops and farmland separating them from Riniv.  Soldiers sang patriotic songs as they moved.

Botanists, gardeners, and visitors moved out of the party’s way, some shielding their children from the invaders, others waving and calling out with glee.

A marker appeared to MiecraftMan’s right, signifying the half-way mark of the Garden.  “Half-way, guys.  Keep it moving!” MiecraftMan called.

“G’day, sir.  I’m glad you returned,” a garden-keeper said to MiecraftMan as MiecraftMan passed by.  MiecraftMan smiled back at him.

Eventually, the entire party made it passed the half-way mark.  “15 minutes rest guys, then we keep mov-.” MiecraftMan’s voice was drowned out by another’s.

“Torch the exit!” called out the seemingly friendly gardener.  The man reached down under a shrub and retrieved a firearm from underneath.  He fired one bullet into the air.

Perfectly choreographed, flames sprung up behind the party.  They blocked the exit, and clouded the air with smoke.  What would have appeared to been innocent civilians and gardeners from a distance, moved into the path to block the party from getting any further.

“To arms, soldiers!” MiecraftMan called.  Gunshots began to erupt left and right, and MiecraftMan and Riniv’s soldiers alike fell to the ground.  At MiecraftMan’s side, Jordan pulled out a knife and rushed out into the fight.

“No, Jordan…” MiecraftMan called.  He knew there was nothing to do to stop the boy from entering the fight, though.

MiecraftMan himself had not been carrying a weapon, but he found a rifle at the foot of a fallen enemy soldier.  He loaded it, and ran after Jordan.

The boy was nowhere to be seen.  Smoke filled MiecraftMan’s lungs, and his eyes began to sting.  Tears began to unwillingly form in his eyes.  Suddenly, MiecraftMan collapsed to the ground.  A searing pain tore through his right leg, and his mind raced back to the voyage over the Atlantic, where he had been shot by the pirate.

“Now’s not the time!” MiecraftMan shouted at himself.

He started to force himself back to his feet, but he felt a boot plant down on his back.  “Stay down, coward,” the enemy soldier said.  “Die like a dog.”

MiecraftMan heard the sound of a gun being loaded.  He closed his eyes and prepared for the worst.  Suddenly, the man dropped his weapon, and let out a brief gasp.  The man’s hand moved to his back, but he was dead before he could finish the action.

MiecraftMan opened his eyes, just in time to see Jordan pull his knife out of the man’s back.

“That’s the second time you’ve saved me,” MiecraftMan said in disbelief.

“Now it’s your turn to save the country,” Jordan smiled.

The fight was over quickly.  Heavily outnumbered, Riniv’s soldiers were all dead or unaccounted for, and MiecraftMan’s army had regrouped.  MiecraftMan’s side had experienced a good deal of casualties, and many more soldiers had been burned by the fire.  The death toll amounted to about a quarter of the original party.

“The Royal Palace is close!  To Riniv we march!” MiecraftMan called to the group.

No palace guards were on duty, and the army quickly surrounded the palace.  High up, where MiecraftMan’s room used to be, Riniv appeared in a balcony.

“Gig is up, Riniv!” MiecraftMan called.  “Come down and surrender!”

“The fun hasn’t even started, MiecraftMan!  You’ll have to come up and get me.  If you come yourself, I might just be more cooperative,” Riniv called back.

“You take me for a fool, Riniv?  We’re not at a stalemate here, contrary to what you may believe.  Refuse to comply with me, and I shall bring an army up to fetch you!”

A grin slowly crept across Riniv’s face.  “I have one term for you, then I shall come down, MiecraftMan.”

“You aren’t in any place to bargain,” MiecraftMan said.

“I’m sure you’re willing to listen, though.  My deal is truly the experience of a lifetime,” Riniv said.

“I’m all ears, Riniv.  Enlighten me,” MiecraftMan said sarcastically.

Riniv retreated into his room, and returned a second later a jeweled sword in hand.  “Simple.  I come down, and we duel to the death like gentlemen.  No guns, no outside help, no foul play.  I’ll even supply you a complementary weapon.”

MiecraftMan stopped to consider.  He could see the benefits of Riniv’s proposal.  MiecraftMan didn’t know what Riniv had in store for the army inside of thr palace, and he didn’t want to endanger any more of his soldier’s lives.  Sure, he could get rid of Riniv the easy way, but defeating him in a duel would also guarantee the trust and loyalty of the VC citizens when MiecraftMan returned to power.

“Don’t do this, sir,” Jordan warned.

“It’s the best choice right now, Jordan.  I have to,” said MiecraftMan.

“No, you don’t,” Jordan replied.

“I’ve made up my mind.  I’ll win though, I’m sure of it,” MiecraftMan said grimly.

Jorden nodded, silently accepting his leader’s decision.

“I’ve come to a conclusion, Riniv!” MiecraftMan called up at the dictator.  “Come down and fight me!  My army will not fire upon you, and we shall duel to the death as you wish!”

“I knew you would make the right decision, for once in your career,” Riniv said slyly.  His face vanished from the balcony, and a few minutes later he appeared at the palace doorstep.

“Let’s do this, then, Riniv,” MiecraftMan said.

Riniv held two blades in his hand.  The jewel encrusted one from the balcony, and a similar one in shape and size, although less grandeur.  He threw the latter down at MiecraftMan’s feet.  “Pick it up, MiecraftMan,” he said.

MiecraftMan picked up the sword, and juggled it lightly in his hands.  When he felt used to the weapon’s weight and mobility, he looked at Riniv and nodded.

“En guarde,” the dictator grunted.

MiecraftMan was the first to attack.  He lunged at Riniv, aiming at his heart.  Too good to be true, thought Jordan.  Surely the fight wouldn’t be over in an instant.

Startled by MiecraftMan’s fast attack, Riniv took a hasty parry to the side.  By the time MiecraftMan disengaged, Riniv was out of the way.

For what seemed to be the longest minute of Jordan’s life, the two opponents were at a standstill.  Nobody was attacking, nobody was speaking.  Smoke clogged the air, created by the fire not to far away from where the fight was taking place.

Riniv was the one to restart the action.  Coming at his opponent swiftly, Riniv beat MiecraftMan’s blade out of the way and lunged at his torso.  MiecraftMan could not block or retreat in time, so he attempted to swerve out of the way.  Riniv’s blade missed the ended target, but a bright red gash appeared on MiecraftMan’s arm.

“No!” Jordan called out.  MiecraftMan turned towards the boy and grimaced.

Not giving up his attack, Riniv rushed at MiecraftMan. MiecraftMan saw though, and ran backwards.  Something was off though.  Jordan noticed a slight hobble in MiecraftMan’s right leg, and a sly grin on Riniv’s face told Jordan that he saw the same.

Riniv attacked again.  MiecraftMan jumped back; Riniv, swift on his feet, was there where he landed.  Attempting to avoid Riniv and his blade, MiecraftMan maneuvered midair.  He couldn’t get the landing right, though.  Landing awkwardly on his right foot, MiecraftMan’s full weight was on his injury.  MiecraftMan cried out in pain, and lost his balance.

“MiecraftMan!” Jordan cried, before his leader even hit the ground.  Get up, get up, get up, he silently prayed.

“Lake mentioned something about your foot.  Seems like he was right,” Riniv laughed.  He lowered his blade so that it was pointed at MiecraftMan’s heart.

In the audience, dozens of guns were loaded simultaneously.  “Hold your fire,” MiecraftMan grimaced.  It was apparent that he was in a lot of pain, though.

Riniv, standing above his opponents body in a winning position, just laughed.  “To the death, MiecraftMan, to the death.”

Riniv brought the blade down.

Jordan couldn’t cry, not yet.  There was still a job to be done.  A cry of anguish was let out in the audience, although the soldiers obeyed their leader’s final wish, and didn’t fire upon Riniv.

Unnoticed by the people around him, Jordan pulled out his knife and made his way away from the crowd.

Riniv threw his blade to the ground, and moved to address the audience.  “So.  That was your glorious leader, the famous MiecraftMan.  How did he do?  All my opponents fare the same, but I think he did rather well for somebody with literally no other talents,” Riniv said.

A soldier in the audience lifted his gun and pointed at Riniv’s head.

“Oh, no.  We won’t have that,” laughed Riniv.  Jordan looked to see what he was talking about.  During MiecraftMan’s fight, hundreds of palace guards and soldiers had quietly positioned themselves behind and in the crowd, and now had guns drawn and pointed at every VC soldier.

“There was a moment, right after Lake failed, when I was at a loss for what to do about you lot.  However, I was in control.  I am always in control.  I quickly figured out the situation, placed troops in the garden and hid my guards in places they would go unnoticed until I needed them,” Riniv explained.  “You guys never stood a chance.”

A gun fired, and collided with the palace infrastructure behind Riniv.  A second gun rang out, and a figure in the audience fell to the ground.

Jordan was no longer paying attention.  He knew the chaos that was about to ensue was a great cover for him to enact his plan, so he began to creep closer and closer to where Riniv stood.  Sure enough, screams and shouts erupted from soldiers on both sides, and nobody was paying any attention to Riniv anymore.

Jordan moved fast, but not fast enough.  Somewhere in the crowd, a palace guard had noticed Jordan and fired upon him.  As Jordan ran, a bullet whizzed in front of him.  He felt the air breeze across his face.  Shocked by the bullet, Jordan stopped short.

“Riniv!” the guard who shot at Jordan shouted.

Riniv looked around, and saw Jordan with his knife.  Realizing the danger he was in, he darted towards the palace door, attempting to flee inside.

There was only one thing for Jordan to do.  He drew back his hand, and propelled the knife forward.  As the knife flew towards Riniv, time seemed to slow down.  Everybody in the crowd seemed to be watching Jordan and Riniv, and the trajectory of the knife.

For an agonizing second, Jordan was sure the knife had missed.  Sure that him and every other MiecraftMan soldier would be shot.  Sure that he had failed his family, sure that he had let down MiecraftMan.  The knife collided with the target.

Hitting Riniv in the heart, the dictator barely had any time to react before the hit the ground dead.  The fall of their leader seemed to freeze all the palace guards in place.  Taking advantage of the situation, MiecraftMan’s soldiers seized the upper hand in the battle.  Jordan made his way out of danger, and eventually the gunfire and shouting stopped.

Jordan wasn’t sure whether he wanted to know the results of the battle, but after a second of consideration, he looked to see.  Familiar, although bloody, faces stood triumphantly, tossing down their guns and embracing each other.  MiecraftMan had won.

Out cold for the duration of the deciding battle, it came as a shock to Lake when he realized that both Riniv and MiecraftMan were dead.  He was found a day later by an Abuja citizen, tied up and hungry in the shed.  He was set free and taken to the police, where he told them the story about how we was with MiecraftMan on the Galapagos, but sadly left behind.  He then attempted to follow MiecraftMan back to the VC, but was intercepted by a street gang and mugged and left to die.

It had worked surprisingly well.  He was let free, and given a pat on the back by the police.  They had more important things to worry about.

Lake fled the country for a short time afterwards.  Life in the Med-Atlantic Empire was safe for him, but utterly dull.  He was glad he was back in Abuja now.  Of course, being recognized was still a possibility, but not a likely one.  Lake ran his hand through his newly dyed black hair.  His white-blonde hair was quite handsome in his opinion, but sacrifices had needed to be made.

The doorbell of Lake’s single-bed home rang.  He got up to answer it.  Standing outside was an unfamiliar man with a cigar in his mouth.

“Who the hell are you?” Lake demanded.

“Hey there, sir!  I’m just going door to door asking for support for Benjamin Gideon’s campaign.  He’s running for mayor of Abuja, you know.”

“Mayor?” asked Lake.  “Why not try and be more ambitious?”

The man scoffed.  “Like what?”

“Well, VC presidential elections begin soon,” said Lake.

“Not a great time to try and reform this beaten up country,” the man said.  “It would take a great man to do that.”

A great man… Lake thought.  “Actually, I’m running.”

The man took out his cigar and burst out laughing.  “You?  And I suppose you have a career of politics?”

Time to start fibbing.  “I do actually, as a matter of fact,” Lake said.

“Tell me your campaign strategy, then,” the man said.

Lake smiled at the man.  “Oh, what a plan I have!  I could go on and on about how it’s going to get me this election.  Frankly, it’s ingenious.”