The First Final Fiks For English

+8

Foreword

First off, I am not here to debate whether English spelling rekwires reform. We shall enter this topik assuming it does (whic is true, and if you disagree, you're wrong). Sekond, we shall base our orijinal words off of American English, whic kontains the least worst type of English spelling (WHAT DO YOU MEAN "colour"?? I DIDN'T HEAR A U SOUND). If you are unkonvinsed English needs spelling reform, researc it yourself kuz the status quo is terrible and I kannot allow myself to bekome engrossed in that mess. Support for reform has wavered over years, and perhaps the larjest canje thus far was American English's kreation.

Why Konsonants?

This blog will fokus on konsonants. Why not vowels? Bekause that's a whole other kan of worms. Should "wrought" be wroght, wraught, wrawt? Who knows! After my orijinal konsonant based spelling reform takes off, if it does, and as it should, the future jenerations may deal with the vowels.

Rules

C

One of the biggest problems is the letter C, whic, mainly, has two sounds. Unakseptable!

When C makes a K sound, is shall be K, when C makes an S sound, it shall be S.

As suc, it's now kemist and shef, not cemist and cef.

Now the smarter ones of you (and apolojists for the letter C) will kry "what about Ch!"

And for that, C will now ONLY mean "ch". Furher, ck shall become kk.

Example:

The inkarserated American shef, formerly a narkotiks supplying kemistry teacer named Walter, kooked cikken inside his sell.

Neo! No! By doing this we may inkrease homophones, suc as cell being miksed up with sell! 

Well, my young student, cell was already a homophone of cell (biolojy), and this reform will not greatly canje the amount of homophones in the languaje.

J & G

They shall swapped by their sound. Languaje, jeneralization. If any word exists where G is J or J is G, it is rektified.

Q

quiz to kwiz, qanat to kanat, quarentine to kwarentine.

X

Zilophone, Syntaks. In words with x as the second letter, suc as example, there is a difference in pronounsiation (egzample vs eksample). In suc cases both eksample and example are korrekt.

And outside from these rules, we shall not canje anything else. Not silent letters, and heaven forbid we canje vowels. Just these small fikses will fiks most of the irregularities.

Ekseptions

It is impossible to attempt to fix a languaje of ekseptions without a few of our own.

In kases where pronounsiation greatly varies betwikst dialekts and interdialektikally, (kase in point, GIF), no canje will okkur.

Furthermore names, plases, denonyms, Latin phrases, any proper nouns, medical and legal words, important words suc as emergency exit, relijious words, etc (c as et cetera is a latin phrase, note the "status quo" earlier), will not canje. So "The American named Chase Carter went to Carolina, Qatar, Germany, then finally Mexico, where he wrote in Nastaliq", will not canje.

Lastly, non-American spellings are to be niksed. As in, draught vs draft, donought vs donut, programme vs program, catalogue vs katalog, spesifikally as American spelling is jenerally more simplified to begin with.

Afterlastly, a few spesifik canjes (some of these were former spellings):

Scythe

Sithe

Through

Thru

Fridge

Frij or Frije

Scissors

Sissors

Island

Iland

Isle

Ile

Sovereign

Soverein

Pronunciation

Pronounsiation

Queue

Kyeue, or similar

Paradigm

Paradime

Mnemonic

Nemonik

Asthma

Azma/Asma

Camouflage

Kamoflaje

(qrazy idea I've got, k and kw so muc in English doesn't look good imo so what if q beqame k instead??? reqire?? ciqqen??? nah thats a bit deranjed...unless)

Try out the reform in the komments below! And disseminate this blog to some people! And suggest more spesifik canjes if ye wish!

-Neodymium

(the preceding is simply a proposition is not to require any changes or reflect the author's views)

22 Comments
+2
Level 61
Oct 4, 2024
This reminds me of 'fix the alphabet' by Oats Jenkins. Really good youtube vid
+2
Level 63
Oct 4, 2024
fiks*
+2
Level 69
Oct 4, 2024
hau long did it taik u to maik this
+1
Level 63
Oct 4, 2024
like an hour and a half lol

this is why i didnt want touc vowels so many interpretations

+2
Level 69
Oct 4, 2024
well it is a grait blog
+2
Level 75
Oct 4, 2024
How spell QUEUEING
+1
Level 63
Oct 5, 2024
I'll make a spesifik rule for that
+1
Level 63
Oct 5, 2024
Kyueuing
+1
Level 63
Apr 16, 2025
aktually, Kyeueing
+1
Level 78
Apr 17, 2025
Kyūing
+2
Level 68
Oct 5, 2024
Kyouing?

This is a funy ideya for a blog, Neodimiyum

+1
Level 63
Oct 5, 2024
ty...
+2
Level 65
Oct 5, 2024
ciqqen is tasti
+1
Level 63
Oct 5, 2024
real
+2
Level 45
Oct 5, 2024
Lol

Gweat Bwog! I laffed owt lowd!

+1
Level 63
Oct 5, 2024
ty!
+2
Level 65
Oct 5, 2024
Wat da flip man?

Dis gos agenst all I workt for. How kud yu?

+1
Level 63
Oct 6, 2024
I am so sorry salamat
+2
Level 61
Oct 6, 2024
Meik a blog abowt consonants.

Olso, wat about "kn". Is it just "n"?

So meni kwestions unansered!

+1
Level 63
Oct 6, 2024
This is about konsonants!

I might see about digraphs in another blog.

+1
Level 40
Jan 20, 2025
Remove W and Y and replase them with U and I.

slightly more speaking time, but the pronunsiation is almost same

+1
Level 63
Apr 16, 2025
Then, in order to differentiate it, let's double the u. So like uuater! UUait...

Anyways, I stand to disagree, for the sound is different and those two aren't too redundant