[CANCELLED BLOG #1] Ranking All Hamilton Songs Worst to Best

Yes, this blog is cancelled and probably will never be finished. I've decided to upload this as I might as well, considering the amount of effort I put in this. Yes, this will be a series (sadly). If another blog is cancelled, I won't bother with an explanation as I will assume you've read this one. Hopefully I don't cancel another blog, but I probably will. Anyway, the rest of the blog is exactly the same as the last time I worked on it. Enjoy this cancelled project.

Hey everyone, it's your favorite side character that only appears once per season! Depending on when I release this, I have "recently" watched Hamilton. Overall a pretty good musical, I would put it above Little Shop of Horrors and below Six / Ride the Cyclone. However, the actual songs within the musical vary wildly with their quality and how good of a song they are, so I have decided to make a tier list on the songs.

Methodology: I will not count the acting as a part of the song, just the vocals, instruments, and lyrics. While listening to the songs, I was also reading the script just in case I missed something in the lyrics. The Laurens Interlude / Tomorrow There'll Be More of Us will not be counted.

The songs here I will actively avoid listening to. I either have no clue what's going on even with the script, make me want to fall asleep, or just do not work at all.

In last place, we have...

46. Farmer Refuted

Here, we get introduced to Samuel Seabury, who is a loyalist advocating against the revolution. He only appears in this one song, and oh dear, the voice. The voice just doesn't work. The beat is a medieval kind, and it doesn't fit the vibe. Hamilton joins in halfway through for a duet with Seabury, and all the background instruments just... stop? The duet is pure chaos, with both just talking over each other with no interesting lyrics, apart from "My dog speaks more eloquently than thee." Nothing important goes on in this song. We could honestly just put the king's message right after the Schuyler Sister's song and it would not affect the storyline. This song is just really boring and useless.

45. The Adams Administration

This is the 2nd shortest song in the entire musical, and it tries to be a transitional song between "I Know Him" and "We Know". The first 30 seconds is a stolen beat from "Alexander Hamilton". Usually I'm fine with references to other songs, but considering it's more than half the song, it just is uninspired. The lyrics aren't even all that special, with no interesting parts to talk about. The remaining 25 seconds is all in talking voice. If 45% of a song is in regular talking voice, is it really a song? Sure, it fills its role as an interlude, but ranked against most other songs? It falls all the way down here.

44. The World Was Wide Enough

The first 1:40 is a pretty bad remake of "Ten Duel Commandments", and somehow gives me the feeling that it both changed too much that made the song good and kept too much the same that it is basically plagiarism. Then, for 1:30 after that, Hamilton is just talking too much without any instruments in the background. I know that it's supposed to be a desperate moment, but the moment is too long for me to care. Hamilton makes a few references to other songs that just don't work and seem really improv'ed. Burr then gets a monologue for the rest of the song, but it makes me want to fall asleep due to how agonizingly slow it is.

43. A Winter's Ball

A bad day for transitional songs. We begin with an overused "Alexander Hamilton" opening, which already gives us a bad start. Then, the song devolves into a completely different theme with all the men shouting "ladies" which sounds really weird. The lines between the "ladies" do not matter in the slightest, and the song ends with a bunch of hey's, which is supposed to transition into "Helpless", but it is really off compared to the ones in that song. Completely overshadowed by the songs surrounding it.

42. Dear Theodosia

I think this will be the first controversial take, but I do not like this song. I get the feeling of going to sleep here, and that isn't good. And this song is 3 minutes long! There are definitely good slow songs, as we'll see later, but this isn't one of them. The lyrics are actually not bad, but the music and tone completely throw that out the window. At least the storytelling is good and this isn't just another song that can be removed, but needs to be heavily reworked. The ending is at least some good foreshadowing.

41. That Would Be Enough

A remake of a small part of "the Schuyler Sisters", this song decides to remove all the good parts,  take the remainder, and make it slower! The song follows Eliza telling Hamilton about their unborn baby. The story is fine, but as mentioned earlier, the speed doesn't work for this song. I don't know what else to say. The speed is entirely the problem, and it ruins the song a lot.

40. One Last Time

A lot of this song is actually really good, so why is this here? One part: the actual Farewell Address. They actually put the Farewell Address in here. An entire section of the song is dedicated to a document that was not meant to be in a musical and has no rhyming, good lyrics, or storytelling. This is honestly so sad that one thing about the song drags it down all the way here. It's the main part, the sole cause. Everything before and after works, yet one thing doesn't.

Next tier, we have the songs that just make me ask "why?" Why do these exist? They aren't as egregious as the previous 7, but still not a fan of them.

39. Best of Wives and Best of Women

This song is actually not half-bad and realistically should be b tier, so why is this so low? This is the shortest song in the entire musical, being 48 seconds. I shouldn't explain why a 48-second long song would not count all the way up there. The storytelling is a really nice lead up to the Hamilton-Burr duel and an example of a good slow song. It doesn't overdo its stay, but I would appreciate it staying for longer.

38. History Has Its Eyes on You

A boring song with boring lyrics. The music is fine, but the lyrics do not match up with it. At least the second half of the song is better than the first, but that brings up the fact that the first half of the song is painfully slow. I can't really say anything else, it is just really forgettable considering the song after it is a hundred times better.

37. Meet Me Inside

36. The Story of Tonight

I can definitely see myself raising this higher, but as it stands it stays here. It's an example of a good slow song, however the storytelling isn't that good. The first 15 seconds are in talking voice, so that's automatically a deduction. At least "Raise a glass to freedom" is a really good unison in comparison. I have really mixed feelings about this song, and it is overshadowed by the songs surrounding it.

35. The Reynolds Pamphlet

This isn't an interlude, but it really feels like one. The song focuses on one thing, and the pacing feels faster than normal. It has a weird mix of different styles that somewhat work but also don't at the same time. A lot of talking with not enough singing. At least the music and background voices are really good. It has an interesting array of people in the song, and I can't exactly pinpoint why the choices for them is weird.