Travel, 50+, Cyprus + N.Cyprus

I once knew a guy who served in the UN peacekeepers on the island of Cyprus. He said that the biggest challenge of the mission was what to wear on your head. Vanity? Not so much. They were offered two things to wear. A white helmet, not unlike what the Turkish wore and a blue beret, not unlike what the Greek wore. A cute choice between are you taking fire from north or south today. The story is, arguably, very descriptive of the success rate of most UN peacekeeping missions... Thence, the island of Venus (it's somewhat funnily called) has foamed itself to become a popular tourist spot, out of fashion tourist spot, Chinese and, especially, Russian ("golden visa") passport shopping center.

So many Russians... Who now, by far, overwhelm the Maronite Cypriots, a threatened species with their own form of Arabic to spit. Otherwise, the place was much like any average Greek island. Unlike Greek islands, which tend to be praised to high heavens, Cyprus was trash talked to me before I went. Every "specialist", "expert", "influencer" and "travel guru" knew to tell me it's simply not worth going and I might even "lose my credibility" for going "this year". With confidence, they swore there is nothing to see or do there.

Yet I went. I explored. I wrought an adventure that would make the mouths of historians, the pants of cultural anthropologists and the palms of abandoned area explorers water. Even liked the food as much as my "steady" place's owners liked my wallet.

While the Greek side was a fairly easy task to tackle, the Turkish side (or, as the Greek side inhabitants addressed it: "The occupied area") was a bit of a labyrinth to tackle. In particular the traffic, which was its own kind of something.

While the "main" Cyprus traffic was not running like a Swiss watch, it was running and people were even stopping to tell a traveler where to go instead of an out of use station. In the capital, things got sour like the faces of people who learned this guy wants to visit the other side, too. The advice was to "just walk past the passport check and it's there". Where it was not. No worries! A local map-in-head grandpa, who spoke better English than half the natives I've met, knew exactly where the ride was going to leave from. Just walk from here, left, right, straight, tilted turn, left, right... and a good half an hour later, the advice was clear enough for me to say "I got it" and walk the wrong way after a couple of turns, as you do.

Despite all, the "bus stop" was found. On the stop, the bus was a van and a linguistically challenged guy, who only understood the language of money, allowed a semi-lost traveler in. Off we went. Off across half the island and into a place with no apparent bus stops. Into the city famous from the Cypriot Euros, sort of.

Getting out was exposed to be a matter of a noisy demand for a stop. No one informed of this in beforehand, but what is a trip without an unpleasant surprise? A person missed a stop (that didn't exist) that I missed and demanded to be ejected from the ride on the spot. The driver yelled a tad upset, but eventually stomped on the break pedal and released the hostag-sers.

Only a second or two of enjoying some fresh air, the sun melted the system of the mobile that subsequently died. Always a thrill when you need to find places and communicate with people. It was even more fun to find out that a lot of the streets were either partially or fully closed for "renovation". The place looked like it could be used as a set for Rainbow Six. Then ... there was the port area. All of the sudden it looked like the municipal government cared. Languages spread wider than fingers in one hand and the furious mouth to mouth between a man and a phone had worked. Light, action, go! To think the early references in Futurama were "just a joke"...

And this is where the true adventure began. How to get back? It was easy for the folks coming on ship from Turkey. Not so much for us landlubbers. The locals did not know where intercity bus stops were. A bus station (on the map) turned out to be a four-wheeler burial ground. No one knew a thing until, by chance, a local mechanic was finally an unexpected someone with the keys to the kingdom. The guy was even willing to take a traveler to the stop, probably to show off his driving skills. Good enough to give a man a decent near death experience. Vrooming through backyards and shortcuts like a maniac, his white lightning's breaks could nearly halt the vehicle before a brutal rear ending occurred. The raging of the driver made it clear it was the fault of the guy in the parked car that had almost just moved a little.

A glorious speed strike in our pants later, the bus stop had been found. It turned out to be a location with no signs, no buses, no seats or cover of any kind. Just an old man with his kitchen chair, sitting around. Trust the system, they say and the traveler trusted. Other people started to arrive to either travel or stand around in cancerously direct sunlight. The old man used the nearby disenfranchised phone booth as a toilet. A van arrived. The old man rushed to yell at everyone in and out of car and somehow the sun scorched traveler found oneself seated and on the way back.

The Judgment:
It's a rugged island scorched by more than the sun. You will find marks of it and adventures, were you willing to slip unnoticed to places beyond what's publicly approved of. The food is good (in proper restaurants), the beaches are okay and there are enough tourist knickknacks to drown a large child and the rest of his class. A lot of the tourists drink like a Russian. Especially the Russians. Most party hard when it's dark, recover through the day and the locals are happy to be financed either way. You will be able to find history, culture and even cool weather and some mountains, if you look for it. A beginner will enjoy the established experience with worn down hotels, preordered rides and the tourist strip. An advanced tourist can rehearse for their future third world adventures. There's something for everyone who cares for heat and not so much for big cities. Solo travelers will do fine in the "usual" spots. In principle, it's okay for families, but on my way, I saw very few. I guess it is out of fashion. As a final note: Yes, they do have a ski resort, in case you want to ski bum a little exotic.

Would I go again? Maybe.