Travel, 50+, Monaco

Once upon a time before I had ever actually seen the family jewel of Grimaldi, I discussed the potential with a hotel receptionist along the riviera. With a snort of disgust he spat "Why would you want to go there?" Before I had time for more than to open my gobbling station, the question was revealed as a trick of rhetoric. He continued with a sigh "Well, I suppose you have to see it once..."

So, there I was in Italy and thought to myself: It's a nice weather. Why won't I have a little stroll and, you know, as normal and sane people do, walk to Monaco.

And so I did. Making Monaco one of the few countries where I have first arrived on foot. The scenery was all fruity and azure. There was a compulsory stop at the "most Italian city of France", Menton. Otherwise it was just a walk with rising expectations. Quite potentially due to the walk being a bit of an uphill. Left, right, left... And thenceforth I arrived.

It went all downhill from there. As the view opened up before my Sun blinded eyes, it became quite easy to see what the receptionist had meant. A lot of the place is just nondescript buildings lacking of any special character or aesthetic purpose and occasional construction sites. You would expect that with all the money they have ... And then it all went up and down again and so on. It's a hilly place not for the weak of physique. The sights you may wish to see are at varied altitudes, so plan well before you go.

My first actual meeting with a local specimen was odd. You might expect that they're all fancy people, fashionably slim, wearing the latest DullChe & Gabbing-ah, carrying one of those rats pretending to be dogs in their purse or something. Alas, no! The lady was ... large. Larger than myself in all directions. Smacking on with her mouth open like a farm animal. Wearing filthy sweatpants and rubber boots (on a dry and sunny day, in a city setting). She did have a dog, though. Big as a cow at that. Why am I mentioning this? Because ... no one cared. One might imagine the rich folks Monaco is famous for would be a hint uppity and heed some form of appearances, but no. She walked me to the (her dad's) special collectables store I was looking for and none bat an eye.

It was almost like everyone just floated in their own bubbles and ignored everyone outside it. But then, later on, it became apparent they did not. They looked and commented. Just, without making a scene about it. Classy, uh? Except for those fancy private school boys. They were loud and boasting about their money-linked exploits, flashing the latest thing that made them more special than the other boys in their "category". My measly raggedy self was entertained as a curio by them and I, semi-accidentally, got to briefly meet prince Albert II himself, too. He was not entertained and his guard duty was less so. Ah! That's the Monaco I expected.

While the few social interactions can be amusing, exhilarating and whatnot. While you can browse the stores with no price tags without being rudely tossed on the streets (although you know and they know you cannot afford anything in there). While the city provides a few collector's items you can pick up for your contacts to pay for your travel habit. Still, it comes down to the question of the riviera receptionist. And the answer.

The Judgment:
At the end of the day, Monaco is a pretty boring place. Expensive and boring. In a sense, I suppose, that is somewhat as it is supposed to be. It's where people of wealth come to be undisturbed and safe. From other people and the taxman. It's where the "peasants" living in France come to make a penny. It's where the tourists come to collect commonplace touristy items with a prestige print to show off to family and friends (and where a specialist collector with wealth can find stuff or people who find stuff for them). That and the bragging rights of having been there. Maybe a picture of you in front of the casino or something.

The small dot on the French riviera is worth a day trip. You will get your 10,000 steps in and a panini that costs at least 10 euros. A shirt that says Monte Carlo for the cousin and a picture of the royals for that one crazy auntie. It may give more to the F1, football and numismatics enthusiasts. The museums and such are pretty decent. People will keep coming. Because it's Monaco. And because you have to see it once. A free tip: avoid the late afternoon train on the way out. It can be like the rush hour of Tokyo without the guy with silken gloves to shove you in.

Would I go again? No. (unless I get paid to go pick something up, I suppose)