Travel, 50+, Serbia

For as long as I've been alive, Serbia / Yugoslavia / etc. has been in trouble of one kind or another. Misery, corruption, war, party heaven for clubbers, war, corruption and misery. Despite it all, when offered an opportunity, I went with the most enthusiastic attitude of "Meh, why not?"

I was sold the idea that Belgrade is now "like totally changed" and that it's a "magic party city where you can *wink, wink* party, and where hot girls throw themselves at you and..." When the person selling this gospel to me was asked questions about things that might interest me over yonder, he was filled with a sudden desire for silence and confusion. But I went anyway. The ticket was affordable, the country inexpensive and, perhaps most of all, I had not been there yet.

So our collective of a few arrived. We found the city gray, full of potholes and inhabited by rather serious, if not grumpy people. The party scene was not what our little party shark had advertised and you could see the enthusiasm melt in real time. I mean, they do party, but it was not all the hype superlatives were describing. The fort was nice albeit full of what one of our crew called "stinky bugs". The kind of bugs that release odors or "fart" as a defense or for mating or whatever it was, I forget. The streets were nearly empty and the shopkeepers were mildly shocked to see a group of foreigners there. Well, ones that were not former Yugos or Russians, anyway. This was quite a few years ago, but the capital did not leave a mark of a very particular impression. It was just a place back then.

As I often do, years later, I gave Serbia a second chance. While there is an airport (hear it's great, it's even in the name), I arrived to Ниш on a bus. For environmental reasons, obviously. Namely the environment of my semiarid porte-monnaie. Grabbed the very last ticket out of Sofia and rode it as hard as the lady in the bus I left on rode something else, but that's for later on. Ниш turned out to be more interesting than the capital back when, and in a better shape, too. Sadly for the local industries, it suffered a large lack of visitors.

In particular, the history geeks will get a raging ossuary tower were they to roam around.

Perhaps one of the more interesting bits is the famous Red Cross camp for people in need of concentration. The first one of its kind in the whole of Yugoslavia, too. A reminder of which, as it turns out, the kids these days learned nothing. Niš is the only place in Europe where I have seen some kids (late teens, early 20s) proudly carry a Z-shirt with the Ukraine maps as desired by the sunset despot of the East. A few Cyrillic edgelord slogans to boot. And not one person bat an eye, which gives you a hint of the soul of the place.

Despite the morbid nature of the top sights, the big city down south was the better of the two I have seen so far. Locals appeared happier there, too.

As promised above, the bus story: On the way out, a lady struck her eye on one of the people mid-bus. He was less than curious and she moved on towards the back of the bus. The next guy did not satisfy her and she eventually glued her eyes on me. Her much delighted smile burned like staring directly into the Sun. She approached me, gave a hint most young men would realize years later and seated herself next to myself. She kept on hinting towards my peripheral vision. The longer the bus ride lasted, the less people shared our presence, the more aggressive she got. She got closer, the skirt went up, arms squeezed for shape and each time I turned my head even a millimeter in that direction, the lady was giving me her best ingratiating curved lip. I refused to be subdued by her depraved if not quite putrid aggressions. She was visibly infuriated by this and, in fact, called for help. Someone gave her counsel.

The bus got emptier. Just three with a driver in the end. She went all for it. Legs up, skirt up and a performance the internet people pay millions of imaginary, actual financial value obscuring tokens for. Made my travel buddy in the same row of seats lean a bit forwards, too. I was on the way like that person climbing on the shoulders of their boyfriend in a concert. Usually placed right in front of you. An Oscar-worthy performance later, the travel buddy with an obstructed view seat, uttered in a low flat monotone: "Yeah, we should have changed places earlier..." (which we had been discussing as I was vying for the window seat). I guess what I'm saying is, when you travel by bus, you experience views you would never see in an airplane. Go green!

The Judgment:
Serbia has been largely a lukewarm experience for me. In theory, they have chunks of potential for anything, but somehow there is never enough money... Wonder why? There's nature, loads of history, space to build and then some. The place is, at this time, inexpensive and there are a couple of easy flight routes that reach a large portion of Europe. And somehow, there is no strong will to build a magnet for visitors. Not in the current leadership, at least. Most visitors, in my experience, are locals who visit "back home". Which sort of time capsules the place rather than making it "the next big hit".

The food is largely based on meat of some kind and french fries / chips. Occasionally you will see a leaf of green or a slice of tomato. The accommodation is affordable. The place, I dare say, could be most suggested for adventurous folks who do not really expect anything, just want to travel and see new places. Of course in the light of recent protests and acts of inhumane nature in connexion, you may wish to research the latest news before going.

Would I go again? Yes. I have been kindly informed that Vojvodina is the hottest sh17 Serbia can offer. Why wouldn't I believe these bro trust me rumors?