Travel, 50+, Sweden

It may have slipped in the comments of an earlier post that I used to live in Sweden once in the past long gone. That led me to tango with the common local travel folly of "I'm gonna be here a while, so what's the rush?" A-and, as you might have guessed... I couldn't be arsed. And then it was too late.

I did get to go somewhere, though. Not as far and wide as I would have done merely visiting, but you know... I touched some good spots here and there. I got the general feel at Stockholm, Lappland, Gotland and the general south where I hung around by the largest, wettest lake in Sweden (Vänern). Roughly speaking, Stockholm is the gayest part of Sweden, ask anyone. It is also the place where I first saw a bearded lady rocking a leather skirt before it was cool (as a kid, taken there by relatives, so thanks, I guess). Lappland is where you will find isolation and the best burgers in Sweden. Gotland was fairly chill, people open and helpful and they arrange a mean era-sensitive display once a year. In the south, people practice a weird habit of shoving a hot potato in their mouths (figuratively speaking) to sound, I guess, more like Danes. Wouldn't want to be going to Denmark over that ice and thought of as a Swede, hmm. And, of course, everyone everywhere has that little Swedish glimmer that makes all their neighbors "love" them so much.

But the Swedes really love something, too. No, it's not Surströmming. It's pea soup. At work, there always had to be pea soup on a specific weekday. There was always another option, but everyone always went for the soup of pea, each time. And then I happened. I was first in line and, for variety, opted for the other option. Another person came after me, grinding his teeth. Then another person, looking weirdly anxious. Then another huffing and puffing. Everyone took the other option. And everyone was steaming and throwing dragon's breath glances at me. Guess what? Apparently they have to follow the first one in line for some reason. Apparently they cannot not eat pea soup on that one specific day. Unbeknownst to me, I had caused a massive dissonance in each Rutabaga brain and they loathed me that day. Apparently everyone had to "compensate" by throwing enough pea in their throat at home while nagging to their spouses that some idiot foreigner took not pea soup on pea soup day. And they were absolutely on the same wavelength in thought and emotion. Some of them even came to look at me at work the next working day. Well... Not so much to look, but rather to give a look. I did not even try to diskutera! Which would have taken only a few weeks or months and probably ended up in me having a shameful special permission to eat the "wrong" food that one specific weekday, but only once! Don't rock the boat! They really do have that consen-sus going on over there.

Besides that absolutely massive sidestep, Swedes are mostly cool. Yet, somehow their country has tons of cases of "death by bullet". They just recently celebrated the first full month of no one dying to a bullet in eight years. Heja Sverige.

The times Swedes get medieval are calculated with fingers of two hands (representing days) and the location is Visby on the holy island of Gotland. They throw a mean party. Everyone is welcome (especially your money). The percentage of people wearing era robes is very high, even among the visitors. In case you forgot your everyday medieval outfit back home, you can always buy a new one on the go. And jewelry and items the airplanes won't allow you to bring with.

While there are some winter vacation targets (maybe skiing in Åre or Jokkmokk winter market or such), I recommend going in the summer. It's just so much better. Especially places like Stockholm archipelago, which kind of sucks in cold weather, or anywhere where windy and sea or a large lake come together. On the other hand, it's not too hot, so you can have a beach holiday and nearly the whole beach to yourself. The road trips are so much easier in the summer, too.

The Judgment:
I might be too close to the subject to drop my jaw in awe or go full Norwegian on Sweden. I like the country, it's comfortable. People are social for Nordics, but not pushy (unless it's a deal between siblings, so don't proudly fly that Norwegian, Finnish or Danish flag you purchased on your tour). May you have a burning yearning for some Nordics in you, Sweden comes cheapest (more or less). Finland, the former colony of Sweden, is a good alternative for the poors. What you see in these two countries is very similar, too. The main downside of Sweden is that it's certainly the most dangerous country of its kin. Especially certain cities and certain districts. Consult a Swede before you go. Or, at least, keep an eye out and the street-wise-meter fully powered. In case you happen to be a bit of a misanthrope yourself, you can always erect your tent in the wild (public land) and no one will mind, as long as you leave the nature as you found it (or better). Perhaps nurturing yourself to sleep with Swedish moose cheese (only found in Sweden), Gott & Blandat and a sprinkle of Absolut on your gums. You know, in case you got tired of munching on Surströmming and pea soup, which (obviously) are the cornerstones of the Swedish diet (now that they publicly confessed Swedish meatballs are in fact Turkish).

Would I go again? Yes. Don't want to forget their tongue like I have so many others. Plus places unseen.