New England only includes 6 states: Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, and Massachusetts. The only time New Jersey was considered part of New England was back in the 1600s when King James II established the Dominion of New England. This was not popular among the colonists, and once the US declared independence, the borders reverted back to the original states. Vermont and Maine were added once they gained statehood, but the borders already incorporated their territory regardless.
I've lived in NJ my whole life and never thought of it as part of New England. People from here don't think of it as part of New England, nor do people who are actually from New England.