Clueless #5

Figure out what this is with no hints whatsoever.
The intention here is not to get all of the answers but to generally solve the puzzle.

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Last updated: November 11, 2023

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First submitted	December 11, 2014
Times taken	805
Average score	39.5%
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Wear	sunscreen.	If	I	could	offer	you	only	one	tip
for	the	future,	sunscreen	would	be	it.	The	long-term	benefits
of	sunscreen	have	been	proven	by	scientists,	whereas	the	rest
of	my	advice	has	no	basis	more	reliable	than	my
own	meandering	experience.	I	will	dispense	this	advice	now.	Enjoy
the	power	and	beauty	of	your	youth.	Oh,	never	mind.
You	will	not	understand	the	power	and	beauty	of	your
youth	until	they've	faded.	But	trust	me,	in	20	years,
you'll	look	back	at	photos	of	yourself	and	recall	in
a	way	you	can't	grasp	now	how	much	possibility	lay
before	you	and	how	fabulous	you	really	looked.	You	are
not	as	fat	as	you	imagine.	Don't	worry	about	the
future.	Or	worry,	but	know	that	worrying	is	as	effective
as	trying	to	solve	an	algebra	equation	by	chewing	bubble
gum.	The	real	troubles	in	your	life	are	apt	to
be	things	that	never	crossed	your	worried	mind,	the	kind
that	blindside	you	at	4 PM	on	some	idle	Tuesday.	Do
one	thing	every	day	that	scares	you.	Sing.	Don't	be
reckless	with	other	people's	hearts.	Don't	put	up	with	people
who	are	reckless	with	yours.	Floss.	Don't	waste	your	time
on	jealousy.	Sometimes	you're	ahead,	sometimes	you're	behind.	The	race
is	long	and,	in	the	end,	it's	only	with	yourself.
Remember	compliments	you	receive.	Forget	the	insults.	If	you	succeed
in	doing	this,	tell	me	how.	Keep	your	old	love
letters.	Throw	away	your	old	bank	statements.	Stretch.	Don't	feel
guilty	if	you	don't	know	what	you	want	to	do
with	your	life.	The	most	interesting	people	I	know	didn't
know	at	22	what	they	wanted	to	do	with	their
lives.	Some	of	the	most	interesting	40-year-olds	I	know	still
don't.	Get	plenty	of	calcium.	Be	kind	to	your	knees.
You'll	miss	them	when	they're	gone.	Maybe	you'll	marry;	maybe
you	won't.	Maybe	you'll	have	children;	maybe	you	won't.	Maybe
you'll	divorce	at	40;	maybe	you'll	dance	the	funky	chicken
on	your	75th	wedding	anniversary.	Whatever	you	do,	don't	congratulate
yourself	too	much,	or	berate	yourself	either.	Your	choices	are
half	chance.	So	are	everybody	else's.	Enjoy	your	body.	Use
it	every	way	you	can.	Don't	be	afraid	of	it
or	of	what	other	people	think	of	it.	It's	the
greatest	instrument	you'll	ever	own.	Dance,	even	if	you	have
nowhere	to	do	it	but	your	living	room.	Read	the
directions,	even	if	you	don't	follow	them.	Do	not	read
beauty	magazines.	They	will	only	make	you	feel	ugly.	Get
to	know	your	parents.	You	never	know	when	they'll	be
gone	for	good.	Be	nice	to	your	siblings.	They're	your
best	link	to	your	past	and	the	people	most	likely
to	stick	with	you	in	the	future.	Understand	that	friends
come	and	go,	but	with	a	precious	few	you	should
hold	on.	Work	hard	to	bridge	the	gaps	in	geography
and	lifestyle,	because	the	older	you	get,	the	more	you
need	the	people	who	knew	you	when	you	were	young.
Live	in	New	York	City	once,	but	leave	before	it
makes	you	hard.	Live	in	Northern	California	once,	but	leave
before	it	makes	you	soft.	Travel.	Accept	certain	inalienable	truths:
Prices	will	rise.	Politicians	will	philander.	You,	too,	will	get
old.	And	when	you	do,	you'll	fantasize	that	when	you
were	young,	prices	were	reasonable,	politicians	were	noble	and	children
respected	their	elders.	Respect	your	elders.	Don't	expect	anyone	else
to	support	you.	Maybe	you	have	a	trust	fund.	Maybe
you'll	have	a	wealthy	spouse.	But	you	never	know	when
either	one	might	run	out.	Don't	mess	too	much	with
your	hair	or	by	the	time	you're	40	it	will
look	85	Be	careful	whose	advice	you	buy,	but	be
patient	with	those	who	supply	it.	Advice	is	a	form
of	nostalgia.	Dispensing	it	is	a	way	of	fishing	the
past	from	the	disposal,	wiping	it	off,	painting	over	the
ugly	parts	and	recycling	it	for	more	than	it's	worth.
But	trust	me	on	the	sunscreen.
by	Mary	Schmich,	Chicago	Tribune

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