New Girl Quotes

"So, I've decided to give up on women and put all that energy into tomatoes."

"Here's a fun idea: you can put a hat on him with antlers. This way, the hole he makes in the wall will make us all smile."

"He's happier than me watching Coach watching Winston yawn."

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorised a lot of words."

“Are you cooking a frittata in a saucepan? What is this — prison?”

"If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?"

"Watch your front because we've got your back!"

"I'm so nervous to meet your Mom. I'm bad with women and family. I wish she was a male stranger."

"Look at that font! What is this? Amateur hour? At least use Palatino."

"Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses."

"It's a weird life, but it's where I'm at right now."

“You could have an emotional connection to a shoe on the side of the road.”

“Nick isn’t even a man. He’s some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day I had to tell him not to pull a dog’s tail.”

"The economy stinks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now."

"Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."

"Please take that off. You look like a homeless pencil."

“I used to just think if I was proposed to, I would notice it was happening.”

“I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry.”

"This is a horrible neighbourhood. There are youths everywhere!"

"I like getting older, I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality."

“Nick doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, ‘Put on pants.'”

“Can I get an alcohol?”

“The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don’t work.”

"Gave me cookie, got you cookie!"

"Girl I'm-a marry you."

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch!”

“They call me Prank Sinatra!”

"Turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.”

“I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!”

“You can’t turn the sink on when someone’s in the shower; this isn’t some fancy hotel!”