Badly Described Films 2023

'Your honour, I poisoned my dog - so I can be sure my mum is innocent!'

A film about a play about a man who doesn't understand the play that the film he is staring in is based on interweaved with scenes of the play being written that may or may not have been part of the film, at least the film the film is about, also an alien turns up.

Reports say Australians flocked to the theatres and were shocked to see no meat on a grill, but instead a film about a doll.

It's like they were thinking of 'what is the worst thing that can happen in any situation' and their finger ultimately landed on 'humungous, flailing penis monster as father in your attic''

Giving your infamous animation studio to your son just for them to make a bland 3D animation about an earwig, so you have to come out of retirement.

'I read a real story once about an animal who ingested large quantities of a class A drug and eventually died from it, how tragic is that?'

Fart, cum, flee the scene - with Academy winner Nicholas Cage! A film to haunt your dreams!

How good this movie is depends on how many d20's they rolled during script writing

He was wet, she was a flame - can I make it any more obvious?

Adam Driver back with his favourite character type: angry Italian man who founds high-end company.

Horror video game made into a movie.

Scrapping the anticipated female-led superhero film that has already been fully completed for the one starring the criminal... wasn't maybe the best move?

The devastating story of the horrific events that brought about the destruction of a highly populated area of Japan, by that fire breathing lizard.

Emotional backstory about a raccoon with an attitude.

Harrison Ford returning decades later again to a George Lucas franchise from the 80's, to just play a grumpy old man in place of the hero his character once was.

True tragic story of 4 cursed brothers that was so tragic they erased an entire brother because they thought the real story would be too sad to be believable.

A film depicting that listening to the Smiths too much will drive you to become an assassin.

By the time Martin Scorsese finishes telling his story, you could probably go out and solve the crime yourself.

Oscar bait: The sequel - because the remake Star is Born didn't work, let's try a musician biopic this time.

Another film about Joaquin Phoenix's mummy issues, but this time he's French Corsican. But with no French accent. Or... Saying a word of French. Let's try that again.

It's like the Avengers, but for science nerds.

How romantic can we make cheating on one's husband?

Men spends his time cleaning toilets rather than cleaning up his life.

Men all fall in love a baby, but she's in a fully grown woman's body, so it makes it okay?

Elvis: The prequel.

When you find someone so attractive that you go clinically insane and you kill all your friends just to own their fancy house.

The avengers but for arachnid nerds.

"Did you ever notice how Chris Pratt sounds like a cartoonish Italian man?"

You ever look at a cartoon yellow bear for kids and wonder what would happen if he just lost all his sanity and went on a killing spree?

Man is surprised by police intervention after drugging streetful of people with chocolate whilst being pursued by a tiny man with a bad fake tan.