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Away was SeeHint
Netherlands 1876 - France 1917 Exotic dancer. Accused by the French of spying tor the Germans. Death by firing squad.
Clarksburg, Virginia (now West Virginia) 1824 - Guinea Station, Virginia 1863 Confederate Lieutenant-General. Seriously wounded by 'friendly' fire. Left arm amputated. Pneumonia sealed his fate.
Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson
Alexandria, Ptolemaic Kingdom 69 BC - Alexandria, Roman Egypt 30 BC Promiscuous. Had a thing for Roman soldiers. Fair to plain but they say she had a great asp.
Eisleben, Germany 1483 - Eisleben, Germany 1546 Religious trouble maker who it will never be known how many lives his spoutings may have ended prematurely. Lived on a diet of worms.
Kansas 1897 - Pacific Ocean 1937 Aviatrix. First woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. The 'Ninety-Nines'.
Dublin, Ireland 1763 - Dublin, Ireland 1798 Irish patriot. Requested, as a soldier, to be shot. Brits said "No." Killed before he saw the gallows.
Rome 100 BC - Rome 44 BC Rubicon. Veni vidi vici. Salad named for him. Seventh month named for him. Sadly, his calendar was usurped by an upstart called Gregory Thirteen. I don't know... did Thirteen think he was the bloody pope or something?
Beveridge, Colony of Victoria, Australia 1854 - Melbourne, Colony of Victoria, Australia 1880 Australian bushranger and legendary figure to this day. Hanged. Prophesied he would see the judge on 'the other side' and the judge accommodated him a week after the condemned man left.
Pokrovskoye, Russia 1868 - St. Petersburg, Russia 1916 "We've poisoned him... we've stabbed him... we've shot him. He's still alive. I am not overly confident about it, boys... but perhaps an early morning dip in the Malaya Nevka will give us the result we want."
Chicago, Illinois 1951 - Paradise Cay, California 2014 An American comedian who was actually funny. Could also act. Sad suicide story.
Vienna, Archduchy of Austria 1755 - Paris, France 1793 I don't know what she was on but I doubt it was just cake. Had her head shaved... off. Some accounts relate that she died with dignity.
Brookline, Massachusetts 1925 - Los Angeles, California 1968 Might have been the second Catholic president to oversee the US of A. A better man than his twit brother is an opinion of many.
Robert F. Kennedy
Liverpool, UK 1940 - New York, New York 1980 A little bit of a weirdo but a harmless one. A great loss to music and humanity. Murdered.
London, UK 1833 - Khartoum, Sudan 1885 British soldier. Major-General. Another 'last stand' man. Killed in Africa but made his name in China.
Charles 'Chinese' Gordon
Chicago, Illinois 1949 - Los Angeles, California 1983 I don't know... bloody drugs. Did not anyone listen to Nancy? American comedian and actor. According to some he had a brother called Jim.
Upper Ferntree Gully, Victoria, Australia 1962 - Batt Reef, Queensland 2006 Crikey! Another embarrassment to Australia. If only these people would stay home with their barbies and shrimps. And their cans of Foster's lager.
San Gabriel, California 1885 - Heidelberg, Germany 1945 Blowhard, American general with a shiny helmet. Part-time traffic cop. Wanted to be the one who defeated the 'Desert Fox' but the latter had left the building before he got there. Famous for standing out in a crowd. Infamous for slapping battle-fatigued soldiers and using colourful language. Car accident.
George S. Patton
Domremy, Kingdom of France c. 1412 - Rouen, Normandy 1431 Maid of Orleans. Maid of skin and bone and other stuff, actually... but who am I to play the emperor's new clothes?
Joan of Arc
Melbourne, Florida 1943 - Paris, France 1971 Drugs again. Sheesh. Light My Fire. Riders on the Storm. He was found dead in a bathtub. No One Here Gets Out Alive? Well, I guess he could certainly speak for himself.
Kent, UK 1727 - Quebec, Canada 1759 British Major-General. Battle of the Plains of Abraham. KIA. Montcalm, his French opposite number, died of wounds the following day.
Norfolk, UK 1758 - (Died of a gunshot wound on a boat off Cadiz, Spain) 1805 Telescope held against an unseeing eye. Amputated mano. A column in Piccadilly Circus so bloody high up in the sky that you could use his bloody telescope just to see who it commemorates. His dying words (perhaps the first in recorded history) could be interpreted as (answer)'s coming out of the closet. "Kiss me, Hardy." Thank God, Laurel was not in earshot!
London, UK 1983 - London, UK 2001 She should have, I reckon. An irony in her surname considering that the first part of the portmanteau was a major contributing factor to her destruction.
Kearney, Missouri 1847 - St. Joseph, Missouri 1882 'Bushwacker'. Rode with William Quantrill and 'Bloody Bill' Anderson during the American Civil War. Centralia Massacre. Outlaw. Northfield, Minnesota. Shot in the back in his home while straightening a painting on a wall.
County Kerry, Ireland 1850 - (Drowned on a sinking boat off Orkney, Scotland) 1916 Face on an army recruitment poster. Handlebar moustache. Some say he was the creator of the concentration camp (mostly South Africans of Dutch ancestry but their stories are boering). Detested women. Nearly threw it all away at his first big shindig by breaking down in front of his staff and crying... even before the Mahdists had tossed a spear.
H. H. Kitchener
Budapest, Hungary 1874 - Detroit, Michigan 1926 A great showman. Sadly, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Americans were too busy speaking easy and playing their Chicago pianos. Probably the man who kicked off the bedroom game of bondage.
Norwich, Connecticut 1741 - London, UK 1801 Wanted George Washington's job. Did not get it. Stamped his foot and deserted to the British side.
Away was SeeHint
Brisbane, Australia 1897 - Andaman Sea, off Myanmar 1935 An Australian version of Charles Lindbergh. First to fly from one place to another or from another place to the original place of departure. World War I veteran. Like Don Bradman... he was one of the few topics of conversation that Australians could participate in... other than topics involving kangaroos, crocodiles, funnel-web spiders, witchety grubs, boomerangs, Vegemite, sheilas or beer. Actually, you could talk about this gentleman in a conversation about beer because apparently he liked a can of Foster's or twenty (he must have been pretty Schindler's before he climbed behind the wheel on his last flight). Crikey! Strewth! Stone the galahs and skin the wallabies!
Charles Kingsford Smith
Yanovka, Russia (now Bereslavka, Ukraine) 1879 - Mexico City, Mexico 1940 The genius behind the success of the Red Army against the White Army. Sadly, the extent of his contribution to the rise of the Soviet Union will never be fully known to historians because Stalin obliterated everything even
remotely connected to him, in all records (the fact we know his place of birth is due to a brave escapee from a gulag who smuggled the information to the west using Cyrillic sign language to a Viennese milk maid on the Matterhorn who had known our 'answer' in Heidelberg.
Plymouth, UK - 1868 - Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica 1912 The first man to reach the South Pole... or maybe the second man to reach the North Pole. I don't know... was he even Polish? His main rival was a Finn. After a few shots of sauna... this Finn lamented... in his cups... "I beat that Brit (child of unwed parents)! All the newspapers are full of him and his self sacrifice. His contribution to science? A pocketful of fossils that MAY indicate that Antarctica once had plant life. Fu(Norwegian vulgar slang word)ck! To think... I even tipped him off in the Ikea Bar in Vladivostok, when we first met... I told him to forget using horses... only dogs can endure the extreme temperatures... you, Mister (answer) and your men will be dining on giddyup soup even before you reach Krakow."
Robert Falcon Scott
Kingdom of England (now UK) c.1565 - James Bay, North America (now Canada) 1611. A river, a strait and a massive bay named for him. Mutiny. 178 years after (answer)'s disappearce... Captain Bligh experienced a similar situation.
London, UK 1957 - New York City 1979 Another, sad drug story. Sadder still because (answer) murdered his (probably) true love. It is rotten to think of how vindictive people can be. Guns and Roses. Life and Death. What (according to Freud, Cosmopolitan magazine and the quack who prefers sitting on couches rather than stamping on them on a popular television show) men think about every seven seconds. Second part - "the finest sound of them all is this..." The greatest manufacturer of this 'article' 1911.
Charlestown, Nevis, British Leeward Islands 1757 - New York City, New York 1804 Another sad story in American history. Another 'If only..." story. He should have waited until 1911.
Atlanta, Georgia 1929 - Memphis, Tennessee 1968 This soul should have joined the moonshine people. Moonshine... taken in a self-controlled, publicity-free environment.. can rid the sleeping mind of disturbing thoughts... whether they be nightmares... or dreams.
Martin Luther King
Lubbock, Texas 1936 - Clear Lake, Iowa 1959 When an expert told him "This weather ain't flying weather, bucklehead... I ain't riskin' none of my birds in this cauldron..." he flashed the green. Somebody exchanged a seat for a flat of moonshine. Jennings later said of that transaction "I bin accused of alcoholism all ma life... the real story behin' thet fateful flight... I suffer from aviophobia... jes tha thought of ma' sittin' nexta (answer) brought on ma cacophobia... good deal all roun'... I reckin... jes fa the reckid... I reckin... that flat of Jeck Danials Kentuck Srett Bourbon Whisky help' me thru ma Cryphobia... I was no passenger on thet flight... no sir... I jest ain' sho' I din'n fly the plane..."
Oak Park, Illinois 1899 - Ketchum, Idaho 1961 As a child his mother dressed him as a little girl. To prove he was a real man... cost - game fish 1001, lions 57, Lionesses NONE! bison 3?, woodchucks 347, squirrels 60, raccoons 31, men... only one... himself. Shotgun suicide.
Washington, DC 1939 - Los Angeles 1984 Sad story. He began to uplift his musical talent in the 1980s but the walls came tumbling down. He sang about sexual healing. No real healing from ballistic trauma to the chest... although there is a rapper who might bet you fifty cents there is.
Hot Springs, Arkansas 1913 - Palm Springs, California 1964 "I heard... you're a low-down, Yankee liar."
St. Petersburg, Russia 1906 - Barcelona, Spain 1972 English-born, American actor. His high-class, English accent and aristocratic bearing typecast him in villainous roles. His suicide notes are considered by some to be the original "Goodbye, cruel world" variety.
Ajaccio, Corsica, Kingdom of France 1769 - St. Helena, British Empire 1821 "What do the lives of a million men mean to a man such as I?" Austerlitz. Marengo. Brandy. Cosmetics. Dynamite... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Birmingham, UK 1924 - Sydney, Australia 1968 British comedian. Suicide. Alcohol and depression. His comedic portrayals were a mirror of himself.
Brookline, Massachusetts 1917 - Dallas, Texas 1963 He implemented a trade embargo on Cuba... two hours after taking delivery of 10,000 Cuban cigars. The missing frame in the Zapruder film? Wise decision to not show it to the public at the time. Even today... it is sickening to watch.
Marton, Yorkshire UK 1728 - Kealakekua Bay, Hawaii 1779 Like so many explorers of his generation... he began to believe he was divine... because his 'people' told him so. Bashed on the head with a club. Finished off with a diamond... I mean a spear!
Sydney, Australia 1960 - Sydney, Australia 1997 Drugs. Yawn. Talented musician. The coroner's ruling was 'suicide'. Irony? He seemed to prefer blondes. His girlfriend at the time of his departure was a blonde. The last person to see him alive and kicking was a blonde. One of his hits... 'Suicide Blonde'.
Windsor, Berkshire, UK 1900 - (Blown from a boat in Mullaghmore harbour, County Sligo, Ireland) 1979 Master-minded the commando raids on France at Calais and Dieppe pre-D Day. Result? Several thousand dead Canadians and Scotsmen lying with the water lapping at their stillness.
Ellis County, Texas 1909 - Bienville Parish, Louisiana 1934 Murderous hoodlum. Read too much on John Dillinger at the time of his (former) escaping the dustbowl.
Rowena, Texas 1910 - Bienville Parish, Louisiana 1934 Murderous moll. Companion of the above. Faye Dunaway portrays her in a film. Question... does Faye Dunaway make (answer) attractive? Or does (answer) make Faye Dunaway look unattractive?
Hodgenville, Kentucky 1809 - Washington D.C. 1865 Ford's Theatre. Stovepipe hat. Mormon/Jewish facial growth. Nagging, social-climbing wife. Appointer of a washed-up, alcoholic, womanising officer (who had more luck than military nous) to command all Union forces in the east, near the end of the disagreement. Nebraska's capital named for him. In the UK... a town AND shire named for him. A series of bloody, luxury automobiles named for him.
Stettin, Pomerania, Prussia 1729 - St. Petersburg, Russian Empire 1796 Reputation for promiscuity. Reputation for homicidal conspiracy. Reputation for getting on the nerves of French people for not following protocol at court... by not speaking French.
Catherine the Great
c.1508 - Hampton Court Palace, UK 1537 A wife of a fat, ugly pig of a king of the domicile denoted 'Tudor'. She was named for an American actress.
Blackfriars, London, UK 1512 - Gloucestershire, UK 1548 Last wife of a fat, ugly pig of a king of the domicile denoted 'Tudor'.
Blickling Hall, Norfolk, England c.1501-1505 - Tower of London, London, England 1536 Second wife of a fat, ugly pig of a king of the domicile denoted 'Tudor'. Beheaded. This lady is the most remembered of the wives of the fat, ugly pig of a king. Her execution was the disintegration of papal influence in England. Fair enough, I suppose. The body count started rising again. It spread like wild fire all over Europe. Frenchmen started killing Frenchmen. Germans started killing Germans. Irishmen started killing Irishmen. Norwegians started killing Finns. Finns started killing Swedes. Lithuanians started killing Estonians. Estonians started killing Danes. Russians, Germans, Austrians, Ruthenians, Transylvanians, Ukrainians, Wallachians, Walloons, Albanians and a small contingent of Hospitalers from Malta... started killing Poles.
Lambeth, London, UK c.1521-25 - Tower of London, London, UK 1542 That fat, ugly pig of a king again. This one... also beheaded.