Complete the Basil Fawlty quote

Complete the quotes by Mr Fawlty, one from each episode.
Quiz by HelveticaBold
Last updated: December 8, 2020
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First submittedDecember 8, 2020
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A Touch of Class
Basil's sycophancy towards the upper class is exploited by a con-man
"Racket? That's Brahms! Brahms' Third Racket!"
The Builders
Basil enlists a feckless builder to do some basic refurbishment, with inexplicably disastrous results
"If you're not over here in twenty minutes with my door I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you. Good day"
The Wedding Party
Basil is caught between a lusty Frenchwoman and the scandalous activities of the guests
(Speaking about his wife's laughter) "Always reminds me of somebody machine-gunning a seal"
The Hotel Inspector
Basil will go to any length to please the incredibly odd Mr Hutchinson in a case of mistaken identity
"It is not possible to reserve the BBC2 channel from the commencement of this televisual feast until the moment of the termination of its ending thereof, thank you so much"
Gourmet Night
In an attempt to schmooze the local nobility, Basil struggles to throw together some exquisite food after his Greek chef gets 'potted'
"If you don't like duck... then you're rather stuck"
The Germans
After having his head hit by both a moose and a fire extinguisher, a concussed Basil tries desperately not to offend some guests from a particular country
"Don't mention the war, I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it alright"
Communication Problems
Basil's already stressful existence is compounded by an utterly ferocious and very deaf guest
"May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window: Sydney Opera House? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?"
The Psychiatrist
Basil's desire to appear 'normal' causes him to act even stranger than usual in front of two experts
"Are you dining here tonight, here in this unfashionable dump?"
Waldorf Salad
A belligerent American guest demands quality service
"Uh, I think we're just out of Waldorfs"
The Kipper and the Corpse
One guest just had to die in his sleep the same night that plenty of other guests have complaints to make
"This is supposed to be a hotel, not the Burma railway!"
The Anniversary
Basil's little nest of vipers storms off when he pretends to forget an important date
"It's perfectly Sybil, simple's not well. She's lost her throat and her voice hurts"
Basil the Rat
The ultimate bane of a hotel owner's sanity is a health inspector. That and Manuel, in Basil's case.
"You have rats in Spain don't you or did Franco have them all shot?"
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