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Community - Ass Crack Bandit Lyrics

Fill in the blanks to the lyrics to the song ‘Ass Crack Bandit’ written by Ben Folds for the episode 'Basic Intergluteal Numismatics' of Communtiy.
Quiz by Insaniot
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Last updated: October 1, 2024
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First submittedOctober 1, 2024
Times taken10
Average score24.0%
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Episode Version
It said quarter to five
But it was quarter to ass
You thought your plumbing was safe
But your jeans were half-mast
Another coin down the drain
Now that’s some change that won’t last
25 cents at a time
He’s taking our souls
Government man can’t help
We’re all alone
Are you feeling the breeze
Did you pull your belt tight
You know that it’s wrong
You know that it’s right
Out of the shadows
Down the coin goes
Why, oh why do you suppose
(Only the bandit knows)
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K can't stand it
Extended Version
Coins on the sidewalk
Coins in the palm of my hand
Coins in the ass crack
Or the eyes of a dead man
Drawn from the shadows
Quartered by fate
He’s the Ass Crack Bandit
Enemy of the state
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K can't stand it
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K
He’ll give you no quarter
But he’ll give you a quarter
The government just takes your change away
Maybe we’re the crooks
And he’s the hero
Maybe he’s the Messiah
Who’s to say
Save yourself a coin for the ferryman
Crossing the River Styx of your ass
Wipe the smile off you face kids
Cause this ain’t funny
And don’t forget your jukebox money!
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K can't stand it
Can’t stand the fear
Can’t stand not knowing
Can’t stand forever
Eventually, we all bend over
In the end, yeah, we all bend over
Your brothers, your sisters, they all bend over
Your friends and enemies, they all bend over
You and me, we all bend over
Even the president, we all bend over
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