Statistics for Jim Gaffigan Quotes

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General Stats

  • This quiz has been taken 45 times
  • The average score is 11 of 25

Answer Stats

HintAnswer% Correct
If you’re out of shape and you’re bowling, you’re probably a _____ bowler.professional
71%
Last time i went camping i got a pamphlet that said if a bear approaches i'm supposed to play dead. Really? We're going to rely on my _____ _____?acting skills
65%
I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That’s why I like to talk to you about _____.Jesus
65%
I tell you, I thought the IHOP was a dump until I went into a _____ _____.Waffle House
65%
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a _____.baby
58%
Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the _____?best
58%
Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s _____in the kitchen.drunk
55%
Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin’ ‘em more… fun to pet, better to _____.chew
52%
I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in _____.'toilet
48%
I like all kinds of meat, even _____. “I knew he was white trash.”bologna
45%
I went _____ recently…for this next joke.camping
45%
I married a woman who loves to camp and I am what you would call _____.indoorsy
45%
My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, '_____.'pregnant
45%
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a _____.panda
42%
I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what’s really addictive? _____.Heroin
39%
I don’t know much about the bible myself. I haven’t _____it. ‘Cause I don’t _____to. ‘Cause I’m a Catholicread have
39%
Whenever I'm in church I always have this very introspective look on my face, but I'm really thinking, 'Did I go to_____ twice yesterday?'wendys
32%
My wife always wants me to go to confession - don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't _____ _____ to a holy manenjoy lying
29%
Ever read a book that changed your life? _____ _____.Me neither
29%
We're all a little weird, we like to think theres someone weirder. I'm sure some of you are looking at me going 'At least I'm not as weird as Gaffigan.' And then I'm thinking 'At least I'm not as weird as those people in the looney bin.' And the people in the looney bin are going 'Well, at least I'm an _____.'orange
29%
Whenever you are single, all you see are couples, but whenever you are a couple, all you see are _____.hookers
26%
I'm blind, bald, and pale. I'm like a gigantic _____ _____.recessive gene
23%
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was _____ _____.Elton John
19%
But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're _____ _____."gonna move
19%
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don’t want to eat meat, but would still like _____.diarrhea
13%

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