Statistics for Jim Gaffigan Quotes

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General Stats

  • This quiz has been taken 41 times
  • The average score is 11 of 25

Answer Stats

HintAnswer% Correct
If you’re out of shape and you’re bowling, you’re probably a _____ bowler.professional
71%
I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That’s why I like to talk to you about _____.Jesus
68%
I tell you, I thought the IHOP was a dump until I went into a _____ _____.Waffle House
68%
Last time i went camping i got a pamphlet that said if a bear approaches i'm supposed to play dead. Really? We're going to rely on my _____ _____?acting skills
64%
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a _____.baby
61%
Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the _____?best
61%
Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s _____in the kitchen.drunk
61%
Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin’ ‘em more… fun to pet, better to _____.chew
54%
I went _____ recently…for this next joke.camping
50%
I like all kinds of meat, even _____. “I knew he was white trash.”bologna
46%
I married a woman who loves to camp and I am what you would call _____.indoorsy
46%
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a _____.panda
46%
My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, '_____.'pregnant
46%
I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in _____.'toilet
46%
I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what’s really addictive? _____.Heroin
43%
I don’t know much about the bible myself. I haven’t _____it. ‘Cause I don’t _____to. ‘Cause I’m a Catholicread have
39%
Whenever I'm in church I always have this very introspective look on my face, but I'm really thinking, 'Did I go to_____ twice yesterday?'wendys
36%
My wife always wants me to go to confession - don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't _____ _____ to a holy manenjoy lying
32%
Ever read a book that changed your life? _____ _____.Me neither
32%
We're all a little weird, we like to think theres someone weirder. I'm sure some of you are looking at me going 'At least I'm not as weird as Gaffigan.' And then I'm thinking 'At least I'm not as weird as those people in the looney bin.' And the people in the looney bin are going 'Well, at least I'm an _____.'orange
32%
Whenever you are single, all you see are couples, but whenever you are a couple, all you see are _____.hookers
29%
I'm blind, bald, and pale. I'm like a gigantic _____ _____.recessive gene
25%
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was _____ _____.Elton John
21%
But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're _____ _____."gonna move
21%
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don’t want to eat meat, but would still like _____.diarrhea
14%

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