Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Statistics

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General Stats

This quiz has been taken 47 times
The average score is 10 of 25

Answer Stats

Hint	Answer	% Correct
If you’re out of shape and you’re bowling, you’re probably a _____ bowler.	professional	70%
Last time i went camping i got a pamphlet that said if a bear approaches i'm supposed to play dead. Really? We're going to rely on my _____ _____?	acting skills	64%
I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That’s why I like to talk to you about _____.	Jesus	64%
I tell you, I thought the IHOP was a dump until I went into a _____ _____.	Waffle House	64%
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a _____.	baby	58%
Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the _____?	best	58%
Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s _____in the kitchen.	drunk	55%
Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin’ ‘em more… fun to pet, better to _____.	chew	52%
I like all kinds of meat, even _____. “I knew he was white trash.”	bologna	48%
I went _____ recently…for this next joke.	camping	45%
My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, '_____.'	pregnant	45%
I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in _____.'	toilet	45%
I married a woman who loves to camp and I am what you would call _____.	indoorsy	42%
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a _____.	panda	39%
I don’t know much about the bible myself. I haven’t _____it. ‘Cause I don’t _____to. ‘Cause I’m a Catholic	read have	39%
I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what’s really addictive? _____.	Heroin	36%
Whenever I'm in church I always have this very introspective look on my face, but I'm really thinking, 'Did I go to_____ twice yesterday?'	wendys	30%
My wife always wants me to go to confession - don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't _____ _____ to a holy man	enjoy lying	27%
Ever read a book that changed your life? _____ _____.	Me neither	27%
We're all a little weird, we like to think theres someone weirder. I'm sure some of you are looking at me going 'At least I'm not as weird as Gaffigan.' And then I'm thinking 'At least I'm not as weird as those people in the looney bin.' And the people in the looney bin are going 'Well, at least I'm an _____.'	orange	27%
Whenever you are single, all you see are couples, but whenever you are a couple, all you see are _____.	hookers	24%
I'm blind, bald, and pale. I'm like a gigantic _____ _____.	recessive gene	21%
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was _____ _____.	Elton John	18%
But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're _____ _____."	gonna move	18%
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don’t want to eat meat, but would still like _____.	diarrhea	15%