Dawn of the JetPunk Empires - Part III
Last updated: Tuesday June 21st, 2022
Jerusalem, Israel - 13 September 2021
Muhammad Viniga Khan (Random person from somewhere in the Middle East): Hello Naftali Bennett. Since Benjamin Netanyahu is no longer the leader of Israel and you have taken over, do you want my help to stop the war between you and Palestine for good? It will make you look really good and be super duper popular!
Naftali Bennett: I suppose. What do you have in mind?
Muhammad: Well I was thinking if you annex Palestine, then they won't be there to fight you anymore.
Bennett: But isn't that kinda what we did in the six-day war?
Muhammad: Yes, but this time, we won't stop there. We will continue to take over more of the countries that oppose us, so that this time we win and keep what we conquered!
Bennett: But there is a ceasefire.
Muhammad: Just stage and attack from Palestine and then declare war on them.
Bennett: I can't do that!
Muhammad: Why not?
Bennett: The whole Middle East hates Israel. I would be at war with every country near me!
Mahammad: But the Blaze Empire has taken control of some of your enemies already. Only a few remain.
Bennett: Ok, but you have to take the blame if anything goes wrong. If it works though, you can lead the empire.
Israel stage an attack from Palestine on Tel Aviv, and immediately declare war on Palestine. Using the strength of their military, they invade and annex the Gaza Strip and the West Bank in a few days. Immediately, Egypt and Lebanon declare war on Israel and are both taken over within a few weeks. During this time, Muhammad shows great military skills and is promoted to general of the Israeli army. With Iran under the control of the Blaze Empire, they were unsuccessful in providing aid to Palestine, Lebanon and Egypt. Jordan is called into the war, and Israel takes them over as well.
Bennett: Well done Muhammad! A deal is a deal. You can now be the leader of the Israeli Empire.
Muhammad: Thank you. I will change the name from the Israeli Empire to the Viniga Sultanate. I will be known as the Great Sultan Viniga!
NATO: Excuse me Naftali Bennett. What prompted these invasions?
Bennett: I'm not the leader anymore. Sultan Viniga is.
NATO: (laughs) Sultan Viniga? As in the flavour of chips?
Viniga (Muhammad): No, I now rule the Israeli Empire!
NATO: What prompted these attacks?
Viniga: Palestine bombed Tel Aviv first. They started it!
NATO: We order you to return this land to its original owners and say sorry.
Viniga: If you're gonna make me do this, then you have to make all of the other empires do the same.
NATO: (discusses together their next move) Ok, you're right. We can't do that. Well enjoy your new land, but try not to take over anything else.
Viniga: No promises!
Manchester, British Isles Empire - 15 September 2021
ducklingpanda1245: Everyone is taking over parts of earth. Maybe I could do one better? Middle Earth, here I come.
ducklingpanda travels to middle earth and spends a considerable amount of time fighting to gain control. He finally does and sits down to rest with all of the riches of his new kingdom.
Berlin, Germany - 16 September 2021
Felix1958: Haha! I will create a second German Empire - this time not with evil behind it! I will invade and take over Poland to become part of my empire!
Poland: Hey Felix. I was already considering making an empire and I believe this is a great opportunity to join together and become a world force!
Felix: Ok, we can join, but I'll lead and Berlin will be the capital.
Belo Horizonte, Empire of the Minas Gerais - 17 September 2021
The STF has reunited! Some members have made it again and are rising up against MG17 and his empire! They have begun to take over the Empire of the Minas Gerais one province at a time.
MG17: What will we do?
Advisor: Attack them back!
MG17: We will surround them and finish them once and for all!
Minas Gerais circle the STF and crush their defences. They swiftly take over the whole of Brazil in order to prevent another uprising. They take the STF as POW's.
Brisbane, Great Southern Empire - 19 September 2021
Emperor Geopro sends an exclusive invitation to the leaders of the Blaze Empire, and the Greater Indian Empire to meet at a secret meeting and discuss private subjects. The leaders arrive in Brisbane and at the end of the meeting, a strong alliance is formed between these countries including a powerful trade agreement to sustain the economy of these nations.
Emperor Geopro then leads his army into Malaysia, Brunei and Singapore. Malaysia and Singapore opt to join their forces with the GSE, but Brunei is taken by force as a result of rejecting the offer for surrender.
Suva, Pacific Empire - 21 September 2021
FacterLiger0804: I know I already tried to gain control of some other Pacific nations, but I'm not giving up! Japan, have you changed your mind about joining our Empire?
Japan: I have reconsidered and have decided to join your Empire.
FL0804: That's great! I guess we can't ask Taiwan or New Zealand anymore.
Japan: Back to the good old days of ruling the Pacific!
Yaren, Nauru Empire - 23 September 2021
Afghabwe: (thinking) I should have Turkey join my great Empire! It is such a great country!
Turkey: Ok, Afghabwe, if you say so. I'll join your Empire. It will be fun to rule most of what USA used to be. I hope the Macedonian Empire doesn't mind too much.
Afghabwe: Thank you. Now I will make Gaziantep to be the capital of this Empire. Turkey makes a great addition to my Empire!
Reykjavik, Imperial Union - 25 September 2021
ZooTuber3000: Hmmmm. I think I'd like something big in my Empire... Maybe Mt Everest? Yes! I will go and take control of Tibet.
ZT3000 heads over to Lhasa and takes Tibet. This movement infuriates the Imperium Sanctus who demand Tibet be given back. Instead of handing it back over, ZT3000 offers to give half back, and keep half (including the part with Mt Everest). The Imperium Sanctus agrees to these terms, but the diplomatic relations between these countries significantly decline.
Athens, Macedonian Empire - 27 September 2021
thegoatisgoaty: I guess Turkey left our Empire. That sucks!
Random bystander 1: Yup, that sucks. We should continue to expand our Empire though.
RB2: Yeah, and we could take over Albania!
RB3: And Kosovo!
RB4: And Georgia!
thegoatisgoaty and all of the RB's lead their army into these countries and take them over. They also attempt to take over parts of the Blaze Empire but abandon this movement when they cannot prevail. They are defeated by a minority who is behind frequent bombings all over the Blaze Empire. As a result of this attack the Blaze Empire's forces are weakened. The Veggie Caliphate choses this time to strike. Launching an attack from the Apostolic Armenian Empire, they invade the northern parts of the Blaze Empire. The Blaze Empire call on the GIE and the GSE to aid them, and they join the war. the Veggie Caliphate exhausts its resources on the Blaze Empire and are successful in the AAE taking over Iraq and Syria. However, the GIE attacks Vietnam, and takes them from the Blaze Empire. The Blaze Empire quickly takes over the Afghanistan (defeating the Taliban), Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan so their semi-defeat doesn't look so bad.
Meanwhile, the Vampire Empire choses this time to attack the Veggie Caliphate. They send their army into Vietnam, not realizing it is now part of the GIE. They take control of Vietnam.
The Veggie Caliphate lead a military campaign in Crete and Niger, and take them over.
The Macedonian Empire and the Blaze Empire form a coalition against the Veggie Caliphate including the newly expanded AAE.
The GIE establish strategic trade relations with the Chilefornian Empire.
Palapye, Botswanan Empire - 29 September 2021
QuizzerBro 1: Why?
MG: Because it is a lush paradise and full of elephants.
QuizzerBro 2: Yeah, but it is ours.
MG: Not for long ha ha!
QB1: How about you can have the Chobe National Park, where most of the elephants are, and we keep the rest.
MG: Ok. That's fair. but I need something else as well.
QB2: What are you looking for?
MG: A little island retreat thing away from the rest of the world.
QB1: How about French Polynesia?
MG: Good idea! I will take the Archipelagos of Tuamotu and Society!
Mg17 takes over the Chobe NP and the Archipelagos of Tuamotu and Society in French Polynesia.
QB2: What should we do now?
QB1: Are you thinking what I'm thinking QB2?
QB2: I think I am QB1.
QB1 & QB2 together: It's take over Africa time!
The QuizzerBros lead a military campaign which they call Operation Jungle Charge through Zambia. Malawi, both Congo's, Gabon, Zimbabwe, Namibia, Mozambique, Eswatini, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda and Burundi.
QB1: That was great!
QB2: Yeah! We own a lot of land now!
Taipei, Vampire Empire - 1 October 2021
Angbo: It is a new month, and so a new day for the Vampire Empire! We have already annexed Vietnam from Veggie control, and now we will annex Venezuela, Virginia, Vatican, Vanuatu, and Valencia.
Angbo leads his army of Vampire's to war and annexes Virginia from the Nauru Empire, Vanuatu from the Pacific Empire, and also Venezuela, Vatican City and the city of Valencia in Spain. Angbo returns to the capital in Taipei, and rests after a long day of conquering stuff.
Monaco, Monaco Empire - 3 October 2021
QB1: Hey Hfjhjoiiklij, can you sign here on this piece of paper?
Hfj....etc: What for?
QB2: Just to official make it official that you are the coolest Emperor of the Age of JetPunk.
Hfj....: Oh boy. Sure thing. One signature coming right up!
Hfj...: Done! So, what happens now?
QB2: Oh no! That was the wrong piece of paper! You just signed your whole economy over to me! Wow, I feel really sorry for you.
Hfj....: Can I erase the signature?
QB1: No. It says here that once there is a signature, it cannot be undone!
Hfj.....: Far out! Was that a trick?
QB1: A trick? How dare you?
QB2: Anyway, you no longer have any money, so therefore your empire will (sadly) dissolve.
Hfj...: Oh man!
QB1: What will we do with all this money?
QB2: Use it to fund our conquests!
QB1: We're one of the richest empires in the world now!
QB1 and QB2 share a celebratory high-five.
His Great Imperial Awesomeness Solomon Blaze III (SBIII): I have taken the land that was once part of the Monaco Empire! My land has now been expanded despite the Apostolic Armenian Empire taking over some of my original land!
QB's: Nice! But we still have all the money that the Monaco Empire originally had!
New Delhi, Greater Indian Empire - 5 October 2021
Aficionado: Let's see... What else can my noble empire conquer? What's something big that hasn't been taken?
Advisor: The Indian Ocean is close and big.
Aficionado: That's brilliant! I will take the Indian Ocean and set up naval bases on the islands.
Aficionado leads sends his navy into the Indian Ocean to take Sri Lanka, Mauritius, Seychelles, Madagascar, Reunion, Comoros, Mayotte, Maldives and the British Indian Ocean Territory. He sets up strategic naval forts on some of these islands for protection, defence and for a base in case of a nearby war.
Nuuk, GrandOldLand - 7 October 2021
ClutchNferno: (looking at this map) Hmmm. It would be awesome to have control of such a large area again! I really miss all that land (especially the loosely held territories in Wisconsin). I think I'm gonna start another conquest! First things first, I need some more of Canada.
Clutch takes over Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba who were busy arguing (they haven't learned their lesson yet).
Clutch: Second things second, I need Scandinavia.
Clutch takes over Norway, Sweden, Finland and continental Denmark.
Clutch: Third things third, I need some of the Caribbean.
Clutch takes over Cuba, Haiti, Dominican Republic, the Bahamas, Jamaica and Belize (because why not).
Clutch: Fourth things fourth, I need Wisconsin!
Clutch takes over Wisconsin (and visits Mount Rushmore while he's in the area).
Clutch: Fifth things fifth, I need a drink. All this conquest stuff is thirsty work! It's not as easy as I make it look!
San Francisco, Chilefornia - 9 October 2021
TheNatureThread gets new of the success of Chilefornia's conquests through Central America. He tells his general to take over he whole of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica - but he doesn't stop there. He sends his army to take Panama, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, and Chile (besides the southern part).
Chilefornia has a national day of celebration at the completion of their Empire's original goal. They make the 9 October a national holiday called Chilefornia Day.
ClutchNferno: Hey Chilefornia! Nice job. Wanna improve our relationships and create an alliance?
TheNatureThread: How do I know I can trust you?
Clutch: Since when does that matter? And anyway, I'm from California so I totally support the independence and empire thing!
TheNatureThread: Ok. I guess we will protect your holdings in Belize from hostiles who will try to annex it.
Clutch: Cool, hehe.
Charlotte, Republic of Carolina - 11 October 2021
JackQuizzer: You know what would go nicely with the Carolinas for my republic? (waits for an answer but receives none). Ok, Bermuda would be nice I think!
JackQuizzer heads to Bermuda and easily convinces them to leave the United Kingdom and join the Republic of Carolina.
Anchorage, The Empire's Empire - 13 October 2021
Jetpunker180: Alaska is nice and all, but maybe I could get something more tropical. I know MG already took some of French Polynesia, but maybe I could take New Caledonia.
GSE: Nice idea!
Geopro quickly conquers New Caledonia in the name of the GSE.
Jetpunker180: C'mon, that's unfair. Maybe Wallis and Futuna?
France: No way, Jose!
Jetpunker180: Ok. How about.... Barbados!
QuizerBros: (As they plant their flag into the beach at Bridgetown) Oops!
Jetpunker180: Ok, then I'm gonna take: Easter Island.
TheNatureThread: But I have that. It is part of Chile remember?
Jetpunker180: Saint Helena?
Napoleon Bonaparte: No, that's part of France now.
Jetpunker180: The Canary Islands?
Spain: Try me. That's all I have left.
Jetpunker180: The Maldives?
Jetpunker180: Turks and Caicos?
Clutch: Mine, I think. Yup, mine now.
Aficionado: Mine too!
Jetpunker180: Lord Howe Island?
Geopro: Always been mine.
Jetpunker180: Sao Tome and Principe?
Jetpunker180: But you aren't even in this!
MiecraftMan: I thought you wanted tropical.
Jetpunker180: Yes but everyone does. Anyone else for Siberia.
Jetpunker180: Great, then Siberia I have! The cold never bothered me anyway....
London, British Isles Empire - 15 October 2021
BigGeographyGuy: Iceland! Wanna join my Empire? I need a passage to the Arctic.
Iceland: Ok. You can have what's left of me.
BGG: Great: It's not just the British Isles now! Look out everyone...
Praia, Med-Atlantic Empire - 17 October 2021
turnbacktwo launches an attack into Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Cyprus, Portugal, France, Guyana, Grenada, Ivory Coast, and Benin. He expands the Empire massively and changes the capital to Tangier to have it closer to the meeting point of the Mediterranean and the Atlantic Oceans.
Beijing, Imperium Sanctus - 20 October 2021
cathlete: Troops, listen up! I'm sending you into Russia to take over the area around Lake Baikal. Jetpunker180 won't mind I'm sure, but Russia will try to stop you. Beware of their nukes and tanks and things, but most of all, you need to know their most powerful weapon and truest ally. it has never been defeated before...
Troops: What's their great weapon/ally?
cathlete: (Inhales dramatically) The winter!
Troops: (Shudder in their boots)
cathlete: Don't worry, you can do this. With your training and expertise, you will make me proud! Your lives depend on it. No pressure.
Abuja, Veggie Caliphate - 22 October 2021
MiecraftMan: Great! We have finalised a trade agreement the the GIE to have all of their vegetables! And we can now use Niger to grow even more greenery!
Yako: But Niger is desert.
MiecraftMan: But I'm a great farmer. About time I had a challenge. Yako, you can take over leading my army while I grow my veggies.
Breaking News, Worldwide - 23 October 2021
Reporter: War has broken out between some of the JetPunk Empires, but it has now been resolved. Since our last report, there have been some huge changes in the world map! How will we keep track of all this? Here, I'll break it down for you:
- The Great Southern Empire:
Biggest city: Jakarta
Countries: Australia, New Zealand (Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin, Queenstown, Invercargill and Pavlova), Indonesia, East Timor, United States (Hawaii), Malaysia, Brunei, Singapore, France (New Caledonia)
Leader: Emperor Geopro
Population: 339 million
- The Blaze Empire:
Biggest city: Tehran
Countries included: Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Monaco, Spain, United Kingdom (Gibraltar)
Leader: His (Great) Imperial Awesomeness, Solomon Blaze III
Population: 184 million
- Greater Indian Empire:
Capital: New Delhi
Biggest city: Delhi
Countries: India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Myanmar, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Comoros, Mauritius, France (Mayotte and Reunion), United Kingdom (BIOT), Madagascar.
Leader: Emperor Aficionado
Population: 1.946 billion
- Empire of the Minas Gerais:
Capital: Belo Horizonte
Biggest city: Sao Paulo
Countries: Brazil, Botswana (Chobe National Park), France (French Polynesia)
Population: 211.5 million
- The Pacific Empire:
Biggest city: Tokyo
Countries included: Samoa, Tonga, Fiji, Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Solomon Islands, Federated States of Micronesia, Palau, Philippines, Vanuatu, Japan
Population: 237 million
- The Nauru Empire:
Biggest city: New York
Countries: Nauru, Tuvalu, United States (Except for Hawaii, Alaska, the Carolinas, Wisconsin, California, Virginia and overseas territories), New Zealand (North Island except for Wellington), Turkey
Population: 335 million
- The Imperial Union:
Biggest city: Vancouver
Countries: Iceland, Oman, Papua New Guinea, Trinidad and Tobago, Canada (British Columbia), United States (Puerto Rico), China (Tibet)
Population: 23 million
- The Macedonian Empire:
Biggest city: Athens
Countries: Greece, North Macedonia, Bulgaria, Albania, Georgia, Kosovo
Population: 40 million
- The Palapyan/Botswanan Caliphate:
Biggest City: Kinshasa
Countries included: Botswana, Namibia, Zambia, Malawi, Congo, D.R. Congo, Gabon, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Eswatini, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda, Barbados.
Leader: The QuizzerBros
Population: 349 million
- The Vampire Empire:
Biggest city: Ho Chi Minh City
Countries: Taiwan, United States (overseas territories and Virginia), Vietnam, Vanuatu, Venezuela, Vatican City, Spain (Valencia)
Population: 159 million
Biggest city: Luanda
Countries: Canada (Newfoundland, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba), Denmark (Greenland), Angola, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Cuba, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Belize, United States (Wisconsin)
Population: 108 million
Capital: San Francisco
Biggest city: Mexico City
Countries: United States (California), Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Chile (besides Southern part)
Population: 334 million
National food: Dhokla, Dabeli, Burritos and Tacos
- Republic of Carolina:
Biggest city: Charlotte
Countries: United States (Carolinas), United Kingdom (Bermuda)
Population: 15 million
- The Empire's Empire:
Biggest city: Anchorage
Countries: United States (Alaska), Russia (Siberia)
Population: 33 million
- British Isles Empire:
Biggest city: London
Countries: United Kingdom, Ireland, Iceland
Population: 72 million
Vassals: Duchy of Wyvernia (Leader: NiobiumVoid)
- Med-Atlantic Empire:
Biggest city: Casablanca
Countries: Algeria, Morocco, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Cape Verde, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Cyprus, France, Portugal, Guyana, Grenada, Ivory Coast, Benin
Population: 311 million
- Imperium Sanctus:
Biggest city: Guangzhou
Countries: China (minus southern Tibet), Mongolia, Russia (around Lake Baikal)
Population: 1.402 billion
- Veggie Caliphate:
Biggest city: Lagos
Countries: Nigeria, Armenia, Niger, Greece (Crete), Iraq, Syria
Population: 284 million
Vassals: Apostolic Armenian Empire (Leader: YakosaysBOT5WANA)
Biggest City: Cairo
Countries: Israel, Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon
Leader: Sultan Viniga
Population: 131 million
National Food: Salt and Vinegar Chips
Second German Empire:
Biggest City: The Ruhr, Cologne/Dusseldorf or Berlin
Countries: Germany, Poland
Population: 121 million
Middle Earth Empire:
Biggest City: Unknown
Sorry for the delay on this blog. I've been really busy at school and work lately. Thanks for your support, and enjoy!
Also, if there are any major mistakes, please let me know and I'll try to fix them :)