Return of the JetPunk Empires: Episode II

The emperors set up an administration to attempt to provide order to the anarchist zones of the world. Administrators from various empires are assigned to the different zones. North American territories are administered in the west by officials from Chilefornia, in the east by officials from the Med-Atlantic Empire, and in the north by the Empire's Empire. Greater Macedonian, Svalbardian & Blaze officials administer European zones, Palpyan & Veggie officials administer South American zones, GIE officials the sites around the Middle East and Central Asia, with Korea, Imperium Sanctus, and GSE administering the Pacific.

Geopro: Whew, that went well. Hopefully this plan works out and nothing unexpected or wacky happens.

Australian government aide: But isn't it not really anarchy if they have those administrators to rule?

Geopro: I think it still counts, since the administrators technically don't rule the territory, they only administrate it. Whatever that means. You know what? We'll just name it psuedo-anarchy and call it a day.

Psuedo-anarchy turned out to work pretty well for a couple of weeks, but soon chaos reigned as people realized the implications of having no laws and administrators with very little actual power.

The remaining troops from the former Pacific Empire took over the Pentagon and converted it into their fortress. Soldier 0923, a well liked soldier named Gekko, was eating with his buddies when he was struck with an idea.

Gekko0923: Hey, why don't we start our own empire?

Soldier 0924: You know, that's not a bad idea. It's getting tiring living in a giant concrete polygon.

Soldier 0925: *nods with mouth full*

Gekko0923: It's chaos out there with no laws, but people always respect someone with a gun. We could go out and recapture the states, and rule them ourselves!

Gekko and his friends convince the Pentagon leadership to authorize a military takeover and begin building their empire. The soldiers quickly assert their power throughout Maryland & Delaware and prepare to move northward state by state.

The administrators may not have had much power or respect in most of the world, but the system actually worked out well in Sweden. People were naturally orderly and there wasn't as much chaosmaxxing as other parts of the world. If citizens had a disagreement, they would take it to the administrator, who would try to resolve it.

Administrator J3n: What are you two arguing about?

Person 1: Anarchy is terrible! We should set up an actual government to rule!

Person 2: no, I think this system works pretty well here.

Person 1: Crime rates have doubled! How is that good?

Person 2: well, they have quintupled in other parts, what does that show you?

J3n: Hmm, I think a proper government would actually be a good idea, on a couple of conditions.

Person 1 & 2: what?

J3n: That I get to rule. And that we call it Scandinavia United.

Person 2: that sounds like a football club...

J3n: Do you have a better idea for a name?

Person 1: Real Scandinavia? Scandinavia Athletico?

Person 2: whatever. Stick with the first name.

J3n: All right. Let's do this, then.

J3n declares their administration to be the full legitimate government of Sweden, and themselves as Emporer. They then quickly take over Norway and Finland and add them to the empire.

Jeff Bezos is worried about Amazon being affected by the anarchy and unstability around the world and decides that he should rule some actual territory. He calls Noivern to him.

Jeff Bezos: We need to take over some land that we can own permanently. No need to worry about instability or any rules then. Any ideas where we could rule?

Noivern: we should start right here with Washington state, of course. Then, since this company is called Amazon, we should rule in South America. I'm thinking Guyana, Suriname, Venezuela, and Brazil.

Jeff Bezos: go on, here's a few billion dollars. Go to South America and make my Amazon Empire.

Noivern goes to Guyana and builds a massive shipping center. He declares Amazon in charge of the country and pays everyone who agrees. Soon Guyana, French Guiana, Venezuela, and Suriname all join. Amazon moves all its biggest and most important components to brand new facilities in Paramaribo and  Maracaibo.

The new mega-ports and package processing facilities are a sight to behold, and they bring much-needed money into the impoverished region, but not everyone is happy with the new rule...

turnbacktwo is looking at a map of the world with his generals.

tb2: We should make a new rule for this empire. Any territories touching seas that are sort of part of the Atlantic Ocean are fair game for us to conquer.

Med-At General: Hear, hear. I'll go get troops ready for some invasions.

tb2: Let's start by conquering some of those small countries at the top of South America. I want some jungle.

Med-At General: Yes sir!

A government attendant runs in to the room.

Attendant: Your Emperorness!

tb2: Somehow I don't think that's the right title. What is the problem?

Attendant: You can't take over those countries now! Jeff Bezos beat you to it!

tb2: Oh dear. I'll have to find different Atlantic-bordering countries with jungle to conquer.

Astana decides to start her own empire, preferring order and governance to chaos and lawlessness. She finds a group of social outcasts living at Crater Lake and practicing martial arts to defend themselves, and convinces them to join her in creating a new empire, which they then proclaim to be called Cascadia. Similar groups of people in other states rise up and declare themselves part of the new Cascadian Empire. Astana welcomes all of them to her empire.

Astana: Well, that was easy. Now what?

Activist: Save the Bears?

Astana: Great idea! In fact, I'll actually call this new country the Cascadian Bear Empire. We can all live in peace and take care of nature! I'll need to form a government first, though. Where should we have the capital?

Outcast Sensei: You may build it right here at Crater Lake, young grasshopper.

Astana: Thank you, master. I'll make it the best new capital city this empire has ever seen!

Activist: Also the only new capital city this empire has ever seen.

Astana: True but irrelevant. Now let's get to work!

The Texan leaders are sitting around on ammunition crates in their headquarters in Houston, watching American football and eating hamburgers. At half-time, one of the Texans speaks up.

Texan leader: We need a leader for the New Texan Republic.

Other Texan leaders: Uh, but that's us. We're literally named Texan Leaders, for goodness' sake.

First Texan leader: Yeah, but we need a proper leader, someone who can command an army and think of better strategies than driving around RAM 2500s full of armed cowboys.

Second Texan leader: I may know someone who can help with that. You've heard of the RBs?

Third Texan leader: the Random Bystanders? In Greater Macdeonia?

Second Texan leader: Yep. I'm friends with RB 3. He might be able to help with my plan..

The football game starts again, so the Texan leaders decide to postpine calling RB 3 and planning their plan until afterwards.

Breaking News: Around the world, new rulers are rising to power. What are their ambitions and intentions, and how will they interact with the other empires? And what on earth are the Texan Leaders planning? Find out next time in Episode III!

Empire List

- The Great Southern Empire:

Capital: Hobart

Biggest city: Jakarta

Countries: Australia, New Zealand (Wellington, South Island and Pavlova), Indonesia, East Timor, United States (Hawaii), Malaysia (Borneo), Brunei, Singapore, France (New Caledonia), South Africa, Tanzania, Azerbaijan, Lunar Palace, Mozambique, Eswatini, Lesotho, Madagascar, Namibia (southern part)

Leader: Emperor Geopro

Population: 453 million

Alliance: None

- The Blaze Empire:

Capital: Tehran

Biggest city: Tehran

Countries included: Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Monaco, Spain, United Kingdom (Gibraltar), Syria (Latakia port under lease), Iraq, New Zealand (Antarctica), Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan (western 67%), half of the moon, Qatar.

Leader: His Imperial Awesomeness, Solomon Blaze III (MKF)

Population: 274 million

Alliance: Pentente

- Greater Indian Empire:

Capital: New Delhi

Biggest city: Delhi

Countries: India (except Varanasi), Pakistan, Bangladesh, Myanmar, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Comoros, Mauritius, France (Mayotte and Reunion), United Kingdom (BIOT), Madagascar, Norway (Antarctica), Mozambique, half of the moon, Bhutan, Kazakhstan (eastern 33%), Seychelles, Azerbaijan, Vietnam, Malaysia (mainland), China (Hainan), Canada (northern Ontario)

Leader: Emperor Aficionado

Population: 2.071 billion

Alliance: Pentente

- The Macedonian Empire:

Capital: Athens

Biggest city: Moscow

Countries: Greece, North Macedonia, Bulgaria, Albania, Georgia, Kosovo, Romania, Moldova, Russia (European part except for Crimea and Volgograd), Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Slovenia, Turkey, Ukraine (except Vinnytsia), Belarus, Israel (Jerusalem), Egypt, Syria, Serbia, Estonia, Netherlands (free use of ports), Hungary (eastern half), Lithuania (eastern half except for Vilnius), Azerbaijan (northern part), Canada (northern Quebec).

Leader: thegoatisgoaty

Population: 421 million

Alliance: Pentente

- The Palapyan/Botswanan Empire:

Capital: Palapye/Gaborone

Biggest City: Kinshasa

Countries included: Botswana, Namibia (northern part), Zambia, Malawi, Congo, D.R. Congo (all except for a small bit north of Angola), Gabon, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Eswatini, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda, Barbados, Lesotho, Cameroon, Equatorial Guinea, Central African Republic, South Sudan, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Sudan, Togo, Burkina Faso, Mali, Belgium, Netherlands, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria, Hungary (western half), Czech Republic, New Zealand (South Island), France (Antarctica), Ghana, United Arab Emirates, Azerbaijan (Baku), Singapore, Israel, Sierra Leone, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Gambia, Senegal, Angola (Cabinda exclave), Canada (sliver of Ontario).

Leader: The QuizzerBros

Population: 637 million

Alliance: Pentente

- Chilefornia:

Capital: San Francisco

Biggest city: Mexico City

Countries: United States (California except for Santa Barbara), Mexico (except for Veracruz), Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, Ecuador (Except Galapagos Islands), Peru, Chile, Venezuela (Maracaibo), Sao Tome and Principe, Nigeria (south east coast).

Leader: thread

Population: 373 million

National food: Dhokla, Dabeli, Burritos and Tacos

Alliance: None

- The Empire's Empire:

Capital: Juneau

Biggest city: Mogadishu

Countries: United States (Alaska), Russia (Siberia except for some parts around Lake Baikal), Somalia, Djibouti, Canada (Yukon).

Leader: JetPunker180

Population: 46 million

Alliance: None

- Med-Atlantic Empire:

Capital: Tangier

Biggest city: Milan

Countries: Algeria, Morocco, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Cape Verde, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Cyprus, Metropolitan France, Portugal, Guyana, Grenada, Ivory Coast, Benin, Italy (except for Elba), Spain (Balearic Islands), United States (Carolinas), United Kingdom (Bermuda), Monaco, Suriname, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Canada (central Quebec).

Leader: turnbacktwo

Population: 288 million

Alliance: IL

- Imperium Sanctus:

Capital: Beijing

Biggest city: Guangzhou

Countries: China (minus southern Tibet and Hainan), Mongolia, Russia (around Lake Baikal)

Leader: cathlete

Population: 1.4 billion

Alliance: IL

- Veggie Caliphate:

Capital: Abuja

Biggest city: Lagos

Countries: Nigeria (except south east coast), Armenia, Niger, Greece (Crete), Iraq, Syria, Chad, Eritrea, Central African Republic, South Sudan, Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Lebanon, Jordan, Israel (besides Jerusalem), Equatorial Guinea, Ecuador (Galapagos Archipelago), United States (Santa Barbara), Bahrain, Cameroon, Benin, Burundi, Egypt (southern half), Canada (western Ontario), Ivory Coast, Burkina Faso.

Leader: ItzIngenious

Population: 449 million

Alliance: Pentente

- Middle Earth Empire:

Capital: Unknown

Biggest City: Unknown

Countries: Unknown

Leader: ducklingpanda1245

Population: Unknown

At war with: Unknown

Alliance: Unknown

-Korean Empire:

Capital: Seoul

Biggest City: Seoul

Countries: North Korea, South Korea

Leader: knightlancer

Population: 78 million

Alliance: None

- Apostolic Armenian Empire:

Capital: Yerevan

Biggest City: Yerevan

Countries: Armenia, Azerbaijan (southern part), Serbia

Leader: Nickelz

Population: 15 million

Alliance: Pentente

National Food: Raspberry tarts with rose oil

- Grande Empire:

Capital: Half Tree Hollow

Biggest city: Sarajevo

Countries: United Kingdom (Saint Helena), Italy (Elba), Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Slovenia.

Leader: Napoleon Bonaparte

Population: 11 million

Alliance: None

- Sawiwi:

Capital: Tímår¬

Biggest city: Tímår¬

Countries: Make believe islands in the Pacific

Leader: Almighty Dhruv / Ethaboo

Population: 11 million

Alliance: None

- Svalbard:

Capital: New Baltimore

Biggest city: Monrovia

Countries: Norway (Svalbard archipelago), Canada (Nunavut and Northwest Territories), Liberia.

Leader: FreeStater

Population: 5 million

Alliance: None

- People's Republic of Yemen:

Capital: Sana'a

Biggest city: Sana'a

Countries: Yemen, Eritrea

Leader: Ashan

Population: 38 million

Alliance: IL

-Scandinavia United:

Capital: Ümea

Bggest City: Stockholm

Countries: Sweden, Finland, Norway

Leader: J3n

Population: 21 million

Alliance: None

-Amazon Shipping Empire

Capital: Paramaribo

Biggest City: Caracas

Countries: Venezuela, Guyana, Suriname, French Guiana, Brazil (northern part)

Leader: Noivern

Population: 31 million

Alliance : None

-Greater New England:

Capital: Washington D.C.

Biggest City: Washington D.C.

Countries: United States (Maryland, Delaware)

Leader: Gekko0923

Population: 7.8 million

Alliance: None

-Cascadian Bear Empire:

Capital: Cascadia City

Biggest City: Denver

Countries: United States (Washington, Oregon, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas), Canada (British Columbia)

Leader: Astana

Population: 41 million

Alliance: none

Free Nations 

North America: Canada (Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Southern Quebec, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland & Labrador) United States (Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, Missouri, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia,  Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia), Belize

Europe: , Lithuania, Luxembourg, Andorra, Slovakia, Kaliningrad, Denmark, Malta

Asia: Oman, Nepal, Taiwan, Kuwait

Oceania: Tuvalu, Vanuatu, Kiribati, F.S. Micronesia, Nauru, Tonga, Samoa, Palau,

Africa: Angola (except Cabinda),  Burundi, Djibouti, Sao Tome & Principe

Well, that pretty much does it for this episode. I'm not sure if anyone actually reads that empire list, but it turns out to be a super handy resource to have when writing these! To anyone whose empire I haven't written in yet, don't worry, you'll feature in Episode III, which I am actually writing now and will probably release in like three or four weeks.

If there is anything that you want your empire to do, such as building, diplomacy, warfare, espionage, exploration, trading territories, or anything else, please do leave a comment and I'll try to write it into the storyline.

Oh, and I've included some links below for anyone who wants to brush up on their DOTJE knowledge. The first link is to an index of all DOTJE blogs, including spinoffs, written by ItzIngenious. (Thank you!) The second will take you to the first episode of the original series. There's also a map of the current empires, created for me by Fifi567. (another Thank you!)

Happy reading!