The Veggie Caliphate - Reformation
First published: Thursday May 11th, 2023
Where we left off…
Father Nature MiecraftMan is in exile. Banished from his own country after an evil usurper tricked him into closing the borders, MiecraftMan has taken refuge at the Galapagos.
88pikachu, the head of the VCIA, or the Veggie Caliphate Intelligence Agency, is working to rile up loyal veggies people who distrust the new government.
Jordan, a poor farm boy living in the remote country of the Veggie Caliphate, has had the first lucky moment in his life. After going on a walk from his farm, passing a desolate war zone, and hiking up a hill, he has found a plane. Still in prime condition, the plane itself would be worth riches… and riches were exactly what the plane was spilling to brim with.
The Usurper has made no attempts to reopen the border after MiecraftMan’s mistake of closing them. Under the protection of the treaty, no country dares invade them; possibly to overthrow the new dictator. The country’s government and civilians have fallen entirely under the arm of the usurper, MiecraftMan having fallen unpopular in his last days of office. Everybody of importance in the new country believes the lies spouted by the usurper, that MiecraftMan resigned after being diagnosed with the labels “insane”, “dangerous”, and “mentally ill”.
Chapter 1 ; Jordan
A lot had changed in the three weeks after Jordan discovered the plane. His family managed to sell its parts, and with the help of some neighbor farmers and heavy duty equipment, transport the gold back to Jordan’s family’s farm.
Jordan’s family then used a small portion of the money to buy a new stock, hire staff, fix up the house, and hire Jordan a tutor. It also invoked a lot of government interest. See, the VC was poor. They used a large amount of money during the war, and payed off a lot more during the treaty. The new leader, a man named Riniv, was poor at handling the economy. Most of the minting materials were imported from foreign nations, whose borders now were closed. To add to that, a group of guerrilla terrorists had bombed and robbed the national treasury at Abuja. So, naturally, a large amount of newly discovered gold interested the government.
Jordan and his family learned that the plane had been from the YLPA, which was carrying gold from Yemen to the Grandes trying to buy a military alliance against the VC.
One day, when Jordan finished his tutoring, he saw his father and mother frantically tidying up the house. “What’s the matter?” Jordan asked.
“Father Nature Riniv is paying us a visit, to discuss matters of the gold. Naturally, I’m nervous, it’s obvious he wants it, but he is the supreme leader so it’s important to tidy up,” Jordan’s mother answered. Jordan’s family were patriots. They loved MiecraftMan when he was leading them through the war, and new he would recover when he was making rash decisions post treaty. They had no fond feelings for the new Father Nature or government.
“When’s he coming,” Jordan asked.
“We just learned. Apparently he’s flying in right now. He left two hours ago and should be here in three more. It’s urgent the house is neat.”
Three hours went by fast. Jordan new nothing good would come from this visit. The plane had given them everything, and the government wanted to take their good fortune from them. So when Jordan’s father noticed the black helicopter parked in one of their crop fields, butterflies were in Jordan’s stomach. Jordan’s mother opened the door, and jumped back a step when she saw that a man was already standing at the porch.
“Father Nature Riniv, we are at your service,” Jordan’s father said.
“Please, “My Lord” will do.” Jordan sensed no sarcasm.
“Well, allow me to introduce you to my wife, and my son.”
“Irrelevant,” said Riniv with a wave of his hand. “They may hear our discussion, but small talk and introductions are unnecessary.”
“Well then. You’re clearly a man of business. So let’s get down to that.” Jordan, his mom, and Riniv followed Jordan’s dad into the living room where they sat down. Jordan’s grandmother came in with a tea kettle and cups.
“Please, I don’t care much for tea. I actually find it quite appalling, it tastes like dirt. You, old lady, make me some coffee instead,” Riniv said, turning to Jordan’s grandmother. Jordan’s father turned away, hiding the look of rage on his face. Jordan’s grandmother walked out of the room dismissively, to bring back coffee.
“Now, business. You have come upon a large fortune, am I correct in saying? You are also attempting to conceal this information and withhold the money from the government, which it clearly belongs to,” said Riniv.
“Sir, I will be frank with you. My son found the gold, and it belongs to us. It shall stay with us and we shall use it as we please,” Jordan’s father said.
“And where, might your son be? He surely should have something to say about this,” said Riniv.
“Right here, sir,” said Jordan.
“Ah, children should hear and not be heard,” said Riniv, in a cooing voice.
“Sir, but-” Jordan began, but with a warning glance from his father.
“Now, this gold clearly belongs to the government, I repeat,” said Riniv firmly.
“What makes you say that,” said Jordan’s father angrily.
“Why, I’m glad you asked! The law, of course. It says in the law ‘any gold obtained from a foreign airplane that crashed on VC soil belongs to the government.’”
“It does not!”
“Of course it does! I made that law yesterday!” Riniv exclaimed.
Jordan’s father’s face was as red as a tomato.
“So, I think business here is done. I’ll send some men in tomorrow to take the gold, and I’ll be going now! Toodaloo!” Riniv walked out of the house.
Jordan’s grandmother had just walked into the room with a cup of coffee, fated to go cold.
Chapter 2 ; 88pikachu
88 had fallen from grace after sending MiecraftMan away to the Galapagos. He had been fired from the VCIA shortly after Riniv took power, being labeled as a MiecraftMan supporter and traitor. He then joined a resistance group of freedom fighters, trying to overthrow the government and reinstall sense.
He worked up the group in a matter of days, gaining power and trust, and was granted his own mission to lead. They would attack the treasury at Abuja, destroying banknotes and coins left and right. They would also steal some money for their own gains, and for further advancements of the group. It would go down that night.
“88, are you ready for your big day?” asked the commander of 88’s rebel group.
“Yes, sir, I sure am! I used to be a big time spy, you know, stuff like this was all in a days work.”
“Yes, you’ve told your spy stories to me countless times. The chip factory was one of my personal favorites. I have no doubt that you will be successful in your mission today, and bring back many success and riches, as well as strike a critical blow to the government.”
“Certainly, sir. It shall be easy,” said 88.
“Good luck, 88! Until we meet again!”
Naturally, they met again that night when the commander sent them off on their mission. As for the mission, it was going great. They had snuck into the street where the treasury lay, and 88 had placed his men in positions where they could sneak in when the guard shifts changed. From there the men would open other entrances, where the rest of 88’s forces would storm in, firing bombs and bullets everywhere.
A man came running up to 88. “Sir, the four men have snuck in, when the guard’s shift’s changed. We won’t have long though, the new guards will surely notice that the lock was broken and the door busted.”
“Great, thanks! We wait for the signal then we all go,” said 88. 88 then signaled to all his men to be ready, as they would be going soon.
The signal came. A light flicking in one of the top rooms, seen through a window. “GO!” 88 shouted to his men.
All of the guerrillas then ran up to the building, throwing explosives and shooting guns. Guards fell left and right, and the doors were flung open. More explosives were thrown, and vaults were smashed open. The rebels had the highest tech equipment and guns in the country, supplied to them by a friend of 88’s in the VCIA.
The rebels pillaged for about ten minutes, and 88 sent a few of them off with money back to the rebel headquarters, just to make sure some money was brought back to the base in case more guards arrived and things went downhill.
After the building had been looted and the guards cleared out, the building fell quiet. 88 and the ten men he had remaining with him swept through the building once more to make sure they didn’t miss anything or anyone.
“Alright boys. Looks like another successful mission. Let’s get out of here now before more guards and soldiers arrive,” said 88. His men nodded in approval.
Just then, a loud explosion rocked the building. “Alright, which one of you left a bomb unattend-” 88 began. Then the walls around them burst open and shrapnel cut through the air. “RUN!” 88 shouted.
Armed men ran through the building, firing at 88 and his rebels. Soldiers and rebels were shot down everywhere. Then, when it seemed like things couldn’t get any worse, it did. While frantically making his way out of the building, 88 heard jet engines up above, and a second later a deafening explosion.
They’re bombing us 88 realized. Screams and shouts filled the air around him. As 88 approached the main entrance of the building, he saw that a large marble pillar had collapsed in front of it. Trapped.
A sharp, searing pain tore up 88’s leg. He looked down and saw a gaping hole through his calf. He then saw the soldier shooting at him, but only for a moment. A large chunk of ceiling fell down, crushing the soldier alive.
I’ll be next, thought 88. The realization hit him. He’d never make it out alive. He could accept that. But to think… MiecraftMan. He had failed. The country would dissolve even worse. 88 groaned.
Then, the world turned red as a sickening explosion tore up the ground around him. The ceiling above him was gone as well. The world was fading, and 88’s vision was blurring. This is the end. An explosion of another bomb, and 88 was blasted off his feet. I’m sorry MiecraftMan… I’m sorry. The world faded away.
Chapter 3 ; MiecraftMan
It would be a lie to say that MiecraftMan’s resort at the Galapagos wasn’t nice, but MiecraftMan simply couldn’t enjoy it. It had been 19 days since MiecraftMan had left in a rush from his palace in Abuja, flying in his private jet plane to the distant VC territory of the Galapagos. He felt mostly recovered, but at times he would become so weak walking was hard. He planned to return to Abuja one day to reclaim his country, but it wouldn’t be soon. Nightmares plagued him every night, and the day wasn’t much better.
Frequently he wondered how his friends back in the VC were doing. 88 promised he would keep an eye on the advisor from his position in the VCIA, but no word had arrived yet. The only form of contact from the outside world was the housekeeper, who saw to it that MiecraftMan was well and fed. From her MiecraftMan knew that Riniv hadn’t reopened the borders, and that no other country would attack or invade the VC to reinstall a proper leader, due to the treaty.
One day thought MiecraftMan. One day I’ll return.