If Countries Were High Schoolers | Chapter 1


On the Bus

Imagine a 6'5" 230 pound eleventh grader.

That someone is Russia. The muscle-bound bully was sitting in a seat with his girlfriend, Belarus, sitting with him against the window.

In the seats in front of him and Belarus sat Kazakhstan and New Jersey, his best friends.

Behind him sat Mongolia, North Macedonia, and Armenia, the kids who used Russia for protection against bullying by New Jersey. He wouldn't lift a finger to them while Russia was around.

The bus had suddenly stopped.

They had stopped at the neighborhood where the middle-class [Soviet]s lived. Russia, Belarus, North Macedonia, Armenia, Mongolia and Kazakhstan had been at New Jersey's mansion for a sleepover last night. This Soviet neighborhood is where Armenia, Kazakhstan, Russia, and Belarus lived. North Korea hadn't been able to come due to being chained up in his room after attempting to kill his brother, South Korea.

Ukraine, Georgia, the Baltics, Moldova and Romania, and Azerbaijan with Turkey had gotten on the bus.

Ukraine was chatting with Georgia and trying to go to the back of the bus to sit as far away from Russia as possible.

Russia stuck his foot out in the aisle and Ukraine tripped and hurt his knee.

Ukraine was stunned for a second, and then he began to cry.

Russia began to laugh loudly. Belarus naturally began laughing as well.

Georgia picked a crying Ukraine up to take him to his seat. She glared at Russia as she passed by.

"What the hell, Russia?" Kazakhstan demanded.

"Oh, please. Stop being such a buzzkill." Russia sighed.

"Fine." Kazakhstan murmured.

Turkey and Azerbaijan sat in the seat right behind Armenia, North Macedonia, and Mongolia.

Azerbaijan took a piece of his popcorn and threw it at Armenia.

Armenia then took a pencil from his backpack and smacked Azerbaijan with it.

Azerbaijan grabbed Armenia's hair and began pulling on it.

Russia had to grab Armenia to prevent Azerbaijan from pulling him over the back of the seat.

"Leave him alone." Russia threatened Azerbaijan and Turkey.

"Never." Azerbaijan muttered to himself.

California was behind Azerbaijan and Turkey taking selfies to post on Instagram.

MiecraftMan was across the aisle, staring in disgust.

The bus suddenly lurched forward, and California dropped her phone in the aisle.

MiecraftMan handed her phone back, afraid to touch her in case he contracted her cringe virus.

Qy, Kentucky, and Texas were hooting and hollering in the very back of the bus.

The bus turned the corner and drove in a straight line towards the school.

Indiana was throwing a soccer ball back and forth to Brazil. The ball fell out of control and smacked Paraguay in the face.

"Oh no..." Bolivia exclaimed, mortified. She knew what was about to happen.

It took Paraguay 30 seconds to fully turn around in his wheelchair.

He then grabbed a box cutter.

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO-" Maryland protested, but Illinois put a hand over her mouth.

He slowly began to cut at his elbow joint.

He completely detached his forearm by ripping it off, and then jumped up and began smacking people indiscriminately with it.

"Ow!" Georgia got hit in the mouth with Paraguay's arm.

Bolivia jumped up and tried to physically restrain Paraguay.

Paraguay turned around and hooked his arm around Bolivia's neck. He pushed her to the side and then smacked Armenia with his detached arm.

Armenia fell to the floor.

By this time, the bus had arrived at the school. Other students had arrived at school.

The bus driver ran off the bus quickly to avoid being hit.

"...UwU." Japan yelled abruptly.

Everyone, including Paraguay, just stared at Japan.

Stunned, Paraguay turned back around, fastened his arm back on, and sat calmly in his wheelchair.

All students seated on Bus 10001: Russia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Armenia, North Macedonia, Mongolia, Paraguay, Bolivia, Maryland, New Jersey, California, MiecraftMan, Georgia, Azerbaijan, Estonia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Latvia, Turkey, Illinois.

Language Class

Students in Mr. Turkmen's language class:

(♀ - female, ♂ - male)

Albania ♂

Armenia ♂

Austria ♀

Azerbaijan ♂

Belarus ♀

Belgium ♂

Bolivia ♀

Brazil ♀

Bulgaria ♂

Canada ♀

Chile ♀

China ♂

Croatia ♀

Denmark ♂

France ♂

Georgia ♀

Germany ♂

Hungary ♂

Italy ♂

Japan ♂

Kazakhstan ♂

Kosovo ♂

Liechtenstein ♂

MiecraftMan ♂

Moldova ♀

Monaco ♂

Montenegro ♂

Norway ♂

Paraguay ♂

Qatar ♂

Qy ♂

Romania ♂

Serbia ♀

South Korea ♂

Spain ♂

Sweden ♂

Switzerland ♂

Turkey ♂

United States ♂

*By the way, the broken English is intentional*

*I have markers of gender because I always forget UwU*

*To tell which Georgia is being referred to, pay attention to the pronouns. The US State of Georgia is a boy, while the country of Georgia is a girl.*

"Good morning, class!" the teacher stated. "My name is Mr. Turkmen, I'll be your professor for Language for the remainder of the year."

"First, I'll take attendance." Mr. Turkmen shrugged and picked up his attendance list.

"Ahem... Albania?"






After attendance...

"Okay. We will now begin with our language lesson. Today, we will learn Danish. Denmark, would you like to teach today?"

"Sure." Denmark stood at the front of the class.

"Repeat after jeg. Offentlig."

"Offentlich." Germany incorrectly pronounced.

"No. Let's try...adfeling."

"Abteilung." Germany incorrectly pronounced again.

"Ugh. Now try... brød." Denmark said.

"Bröt?" Germany repeated.

"No, you have to use a hard D, not a soft D." Denmark corrected.

"Vas in fick is soft D?" Germany asked.

"Is the sound at end of “brød"!"


"Still hard D! Why can you not use soft D?" Denmark demanded.

"Was is even point of soft D? Hard D is obviously better!" Germany yelled back.

"Hard D has time and place, and now is time for soft D!" Denmark replied angrily.

"Is not my fault that my D is apparently too hard for you? You already of knowings how hard my D is before we start!" Germany protested.

"Ja, but vas expect du could be soften D when want! No permanent hard D!"

"Is not problem with my D! Hardness of D is perfectly normal!" Germany said.

"How is normal? Is almost grotesque!"

"Well SWEDEN sure not seeming mind how hard meine D is!" Germany protested.

Sweden's eyes grew wide.

"You going to trust SWEDEN for honest appraisal of ideal D hardness?" Denmark asked.

"ENOUGH!" Mr. Turkmen bellowed. "Class dismissed."

Denmark spat at Germany before grabbing his bag and lunchbox and storming out of the classroom.

Students in Mr. Belize's debate class:

























North Macedonia

North Korea







South Korea



*By the way, the broken English is intentional*

Debate Class

"Today, we will be discussing geopolitics. First up, Turkey and Greece."

Turkey stepped up to one podium. Greece stepped to the other.

"Begin." The teacher demanded.

"Constantinople is of Greek and yuo not real European, stupid kórrupt kebab!" Greece yelled.

"Yuo have luckings but empire stįll of suck! I never into commit any genocide!" Turkey shot back.

"LIAR!" Armenia screamed from the audience.

"Ataturk had seks with goats! And CYPRUS IS MINE!" Greece yelled.

"What you say, of dumb Orthodox! And Cyprus is MINE!" Turkey screamed back.

"You of Asian Turk kebab! And as long as me in EU, me NEVER let yuo become member!" Greece screamed.

"AND HE KILLED ME!" Armenia screamed from the audience.

"I hate yuo!" Turkey yelled.

"OKAY, OKAY!" The teacher signaled to end the debate.

"Um... next... Bulgaria and Macedonia."

Greece stared at the teacher.

"North Macedonia."

Greece sat down.

Bulgaria switched spots with Turkey, while North Macedonia took Greece's podium.

"Begin." The teacher signaled.

"Stupid mongol bugarïn. Go eat horse sperm in steppe and let me into EU, you evil fascist Tatar!" North Macedonia yelled.

"Ne." Bulgaria replied.

"I HATE YUO!" North Macedonia yelled.

"Cool." Bulgaria replied coolly.

"GET OVER HERE!" North Macedonia tried to attack Bulgaria, but the teacher held him back.

The teacher told Bulgaria and North Macedonia to sit down.

"Finally, Kosovo and Serbia. Albania, you may accompany Kosovo, I know how Serbia is."

Kosovo and Albania stood at North Macedonia's platform, and Serbia replaced Bulgaria.


"Kosovo isn't can even into real country. Is just Serb with Islamic." Serbia pointed out.

"But look at it this way. Me speak Albanian, me look Albanian, me like Albania. Why me be Serb?" Kosovo asked.

"There are so many historical Serbian artifacts in Kosovo." Serbia explained. "Yuo is still Serb. YOU HEAR ME! YUO IS SERB! SERB! SERB! SERB!"

Kosovo began to cry. Albania brought him off stage.

"That's enough for today. Class dismissed." the teacher signed and held his nose.

Lunch (Courtyard)

Usual Lunch Tables:

Table 1 (Pro-Russia): New Jersey, Russia, Vietnam, Croatia, Montenegro, Slovenia, Slovakia, Belarus, North Macedonia, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Armenia, Bulgaria, North Korea

Table 2 (Anti-Russia): Serbia, Bosnia, Greece, Cyprus, Georgia, Ukraine

Table 3 (Cool Kids): MiecraftMan, Qy, United States, Canada, Switzerland, Qatar, Monaco, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Denmark, Singapore, California

Table 4 (EU): Belgium, Netherlands, France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Germany, Ireland, Hungary, Poland, Austria, Quebec, Slovakia, Czechia

Table 5 (Kids who just want to eat their lunch): Romania, Lightning, Moldova, New Zealand, Australia, Turkey, Azerbaijan

Table 6 (Muslims): Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Palestine, Sudan, Iraq, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Qatar, Syria, Afghanistan, Iran, Malaysia, Indonesia

Table 7 (The actually fun table): India, Suriname, Guyana, Israel, Thailand, South Korea, Japan, Sri Lanka, Toowise, Bolivia, Paraguay, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Cuba, Venezuela, Mexico

Table 8 (Africans): Namibia, Cheese, Botswana, Uganda, Libya, Nigeria, DR Congo, Chad, Kenya, Lesotho, Eswatini, South Sudan

Table 9 (Random people who don't really belong together): South Africa, England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Alabama, Kosovo, Albania

Table 10 (Fat kids): Mauritania, Nauru, Pennsylvania, Washington, Vermont, Rhode Island, Ohio, Wyoming, Bhutan

Table 11 (Smart kids): China, Massachusetts, Panama, New York, Montana, Utah

The rest of the students change tables often. 

Table 4 (European Union Table)

"We need a meeting." Belgium signaled for Hungary to go get the other EU members/candidates for a surprise meeting.

Hungary signed and got up from eating his goulash.

He first went to the Slavic / Russia simps table.

"Croatia, Montenegro, Slovenia, Slovakia, North Macedonia, Bulgaria, you are needed at the EU table."

The six of them (well, actually, Slovenia was holding Montenegro and carrying him, since he had fallen asleep) got up to go to the EU.

Hungary then went to the Kosovo-haters table. All of the people who sit there are EU members/candidates, so he retrieved them to go to the table.

Luxembourg, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, and Denmark followed suit.

Hungary refused to go near Romania, so he signaled to Moldova to tap him and signal for him to come to the table.

Kosovo and Albania were the last to arrive.

"Alright. We are gathered to discuss candidate accession to full EU membership. The members will now vote on each person. If at least 4 members choose to veto, they will not be granted membership."

"First. Montenegro. Let's see... nobody vetoed."

"Moldova... Hungary, Czechia, and Poland vetoed."

"Albania... Serbia, Bosnia, Greece, and Cyprus vetoed."

"Kosovo... Greece, Serbia, Cyprus, and Bosnia vetoed."

"Turkey... Greece, Cyprus, Serbia, Bosnia, and Bulgaria vetoed.

"CYPRUS? I thought we were friends!" Turkey protested.

"We are not friends." Cyprus whined.

Belgium continued.

"Serbia... Bulgaria, Slovenia, Croatia, Hungary, Poland, Czechia, Italy, and Germany vetoed."

10 minutes later...

"So we have decided... Armenia... Quebec... Moldova... Montenegro... Ukraine... North Macedonia... welcome to the EU!"

Armenia, Montenegro, and North Macedonia looked at each other, knowing Russia would banish them from the table if he found out they joined the EU, but then the other EU members would protect them. Sort of a trade off, really.

Table 3 (Popular Kids)

"I feel like something is off today..." Monaco muttered ominously.

Singapore and California were taking selfies.

"MEXICO! I WANT TÚ KILL YUO!" Colombia screeched, chasing Mexico maliciously around the courtyard.

Mexico was holding a black bag. A few Jolly Ranchers fell out the bag.

United States knew exactly what the bag was for.

"IT BELONG TO MI!" Colombia yelled, and swiped for the bag.

Mexico yanked it away. "NO!" she threw the bag to United States.

He caught the bag and dumped the contents on the table.

Switzerland, Canada, MiecraftMan, and Singapore began stuffing candy into their backpacks and pockets.

"Always ruining the fun, Estados Unidos." Colombia groaned and walked back to sit with Cuba and Venezuela.

"PARAGUAY, STOP SCREAMING!" Bolivia could be heard bellowing.


Bolivia gave Paraguay a hug.

Paraguay stopped, and a noticeable blush appeared on his face.

Venezuela and Cuba looked at each other like this: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Japan suddenly said "UwU" very loudly.

Everyone stared at Japan.


Film Class

"Okay, so for your partner project, you were supposed to create a PG film. Serbia and Croatia, let's see what you created."

"Rat." Croatia spat at Serbia.

"Kebab." Serbia shot back at Croatia.

The film began to play on the camcorder.

"I HATE YUO!" Serbia yelled and tackled Croatia.

Croatia pulled Serbia's hair while Serbia smacked Croatia in her face.

The teacher turned off the film in disdain.

"D minus, Croatia and Serbia. Next, Montenegro and Slovenia, what did you create?"

Montenegro almost fell asleep as he handed the camcorder to the teacher.

The teacher played the film.

Montenegro and Slovenia, in the film, were standing in a completely white room.

Montenegro's eyes suddenly grew small.

With a thud, he fell to the ground, asleep.

Slovenia stared at Montenegro for about ten seconds, and fell to the ground as well.

The teacher turned off the film and stared oddly at Slovenia. Montenegro, by this time, had already fallen asleep.

"C plus. Next, Japan, Taiwan, England, Scotland, your group's film?"

The scene opened on Scotland and England in a public park.

Scotland picked up his bagpipes and began to play. *EEEEEeeEeEeEeEEEeEdEEEEEeEEeDEEEEEEEEEE*


"I was just practicin’ me pipes…" Scotland whined.

England turned away. "Well PIPE it down OR I’LL SHOVE THAT BAG FAR UP YOUR BUNGHOLE! Now where was I? Right, doing absolutely nothing."



"It wasn't me!" Scotland protested.

"So if it wasn’t you, then who’s been playing such loud music?" England asked.

They turned around to see Taiwan and Japan watching... hentai?


"Uhhhhh..." England groaned, confused.

The film ended.

The teacher was stunned.

"Uh... A minus. Very... uhh... creative."

After School Is Over

The students were piling outside to either get on buses or get in cars to go home.

Tajikistan and Uzbekistan were having an argument in front of the buses.

"Yuo are rightful Tajik, so you must of speak Tajik!" Tajikistan demanded.

"No, yuo are rightful Uzbek, so speak Uzbek!" Uzbekistan yelled.

"I am not of going to speak yuor dirty crusty dusty Turkey language you kebab rat!" Tajikistan screamed.

"And I am not go to speak yuor Persian ripoff language yuo dumb baboon!" Uzbekistan replied angrily.

"Fine!" Tajikistan yelled.

"Fine!" Uzbekistan screamed.





"UwU!" Japan screeched abruptly.

Everyone looked at Japan oddly.

Tajikistan and Uzbekistan looked at each other, then at Japan, then back at each other. They then walked on their bus.

I hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking the blog and commenting!

To get to know the characters, please click here!


Also, comment if you would like to be a student at United Nations High School!

Level 63
Nov 16, 2022
Level 59
Nov 16, 2022
I would expect nothing less from the character of Japan
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
I'm kind of annoyed that only one of the comments are actually about my story.
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
Yo! Love the use of the word ‘a’ at the beginning of the blog! So amazing, props to you, it probably took a lot of work
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
Oh my god! Thank you! Finally, someone recognizes how difficult the usage of the word "a" is. Such an advanced word.
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
Now it’s all nice and lovely. We’ve all read and taken and given the criticism, so I simply deleted my comment
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
Good call. It could have escalated.
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
What kind of sycophancy is this? Criticism should stay, not deleted out of… embarrassment? I dunno.
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
I didn't delete it... And he's my friend, how is that sycophancy? He deleted it because it could have escalated. Not sycophancy, just critical thinking. And they were replies to his comment, he can delete his own comment if he chooses.
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
If you're fearful of things getting heated, would you like to have a polite conversation on the topic?
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
I would love that, but like I said before, I didn't delete it.
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
I deleted it because we all read it. Why should it stay when people will keep arguing and fighting, and not even making new points?
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
Because it's human behavior and it's how we grow as people.
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
Yes, it's also how we get banned.
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
There’s nothing more that you can get if you’ve truly read it and taken it in. Which, hopefully, we all did. Keeping the comment accomplishes nothing
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
You're absolutely right.
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
"Keeping the comment accomplishes nothing?" A point was made and it stands. Should we just delete quizzes after they leave the front page? Should we just remove WWII from our history books, because, well, the war's over, and Holocaust deniers will just argue about it? What a silly position.
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
You’re really comparing a tiny argument on an obscure quiz website’s blog page to a world war with millions of deaths?
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
If I had kept the comment people would have kept going back and forth about it (which we are doing now, but about the comment, which is even sillier), making the same points and accomplishing nothing. We said what had to be said, and we read what had to be read. Why keep raising tensions and making enemies over something as silly as someone who has the time to post daily, and wants to post daily?
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
I can legit just delete my comment again if we keep arguing about nonsense like this - I don’t see anything wrong or cowardish and whatnot about it, and I’m not afraid to do it.
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
Qy, it's his comment. Why are you so pressed about him deleting his whole comment? At this point you're just making ridiculous and invalid analogies to further a now irrelevant point.
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
It’s not completely nonsensical - I just think that there’s nothing left to gain from it
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
You know, you are right; I did get off-topic. My final recommendation: spend time polishing your work instead of trying to get one out daily.
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
If you had just said that from the beginning, I would have just said okay. :)
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
That is what I said, but now there's no record. ):
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
The record is the comment below this one
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
Well good. That serves to prove I was on the point.
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
I'm releasing a blog later. You should check it out!
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
*Qy spits out his drink*
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
I'm not exactly shocked Yako is releasing a blog today, as he said he would.
Level 63
Nov 17, 2022
MiecraftMan should remember this series that I am about to continue.
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
The point is that quality beats quantity. Your blogs are fine right now, but if you didn't try to rush one out every day they could be even better.
Level 15
Nov 17, 2022
spesh if you cleaned up the language a bit. the powers that be might banish one for vulgarity ya know
Level 59
Nov 17, 2022
Third? First account and second, I wasn’t here - third account you were banned. Commenting alt was banned. You came back two days after your third banishment. Wouldn’t it be fifth lol?
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
You've quite some gall openly admitting you've not only been banned multiple times, but are also currently ban-evading.
Level 65
Nov 17, 2022
It perplexes me how you somehow stay on this website.
Level 61
Nov 20, 2022
well if you try, maybe you'll get a case of

Quizmasterofficiallypardonsyou Sydrome

Level 15
Nov 20, 2022
actually I was referring to the first one. this one's not so bad. although maybe the explosive confrontations could be dialled back a wee bit, not that they aren't entertaining but they could be potentially insulting to some on this site.
Level 61
Nov 20, 2022
@Qy Aren't we all ban-evading every time we type Jetpunk JetPunk?
Level 63
Nov 20, 2022
@Lightning10 The entire story is based on stereotypes. Literally every single character is based on a stereotype. So if I stereotype ALL countries... why would anyone be offended? Your country is being stereotyped? Cool, so is everyone else's, including mine. If someone doesn't like it or is offended by it, they can feel free not to read.
Level 15
Nov 21, 2022
good point. also this blog came back again


The Case of the Mysteriously Disappearing Blog i guess

Level 63
Nov 21, 2022
I resubmitted it, that's why.
Level 61
Nov 20, 2022
I would kinda like to join but am a bit tentative due to your habit of being banished. Nothing against you, but you know, Quizmasterbanningmeaphobia is one of the top fears among JetPunkers.
Level 63
Nov 20, 2022
Even if I get banned again, it wouldn't affect *you*
Level 61
Nov 20, 2022
here's me :

A nerd. Loves statistics and raw data. Always extremely punctual, never been late to class in their life. Always hands in assignments exactly on time, usually accompanied by a spreadsheet or two. Would make an excellent target for bullies except that ever since Tanzania fell into a coma while they explained quantum entanglement to them, people generally try to avoid contact. Once conducted a study on Paraguay's behavioral dysfunctionalities, then wrote a fifteen-page essay about it. Some think they were kidnapped in middle school and replaced by one of China's robotics projects. Will probably either invent time travel someday or blow up the school

Level 34
Dec 30, 2022
Hey when is Chapter 2 due? (sorry but want to see myself in this school) also can you please make me partners with South Korea
Level 63
Dec 30, 2022

And what do you mean by partner? Like partners in a project or...romantic partners?

Level 34
Sep 9, 2023
Sorry for seeing this thing late, the prior one plz (I'm not a big romance guy)
Level 58
Jun 1, 2023
Funny story
Level 41
Jan 22, 2024
Funny blog series! Can't wait for part 4!