If Countries Were High Schoolers - Profiles

Fianchetto ♂ (JP) - An anime lover. A social justice warrior. Is extremely fragile and easy to offend, so people don't talk to Fianchetto a lot. Is disliked by the vast majority of the Muslim countries, Florida, Utah, California, and Texas. Good friends with Norway, Sweden, and Japan.

Fiji ♀ (OC) - Samoa's twin sister, Used to be bullied by North Korea when he threatened to kill her in middle school but now she stays away from him and is good friends with the Maldives and Australia.

Finland ♂ (EU) - Always has a cup of coffee. ALWAYS. Drinks at least ten cups per day. Always has bags under his eyes and usually hangs out with his cousin, Estonia.

Florida ♂ (US) - Moron that can’t figure out how to open his locker at least seven times a day. He sometimes drops his pocket. He has trouble figuring out doors. He can’t tell which side of the lunch line to enter from. He’s not frenetic or panicked at all. He’s just used to it. He can’t even figure out if he’d rather hang out with Alabama, New York or New Mexico. Complete idiot. No offense. None taken.

France ♂ (EU) - He flirts with all the girls, but when you get to know him he’s kind of a creep. Had a bad feud with England for a while. Got over it, but is still a bit bitter, and sometimes hangs with Monaco. Has a funny mustache that he likes to twirl. Disapproves of Quebec's apparent mockery of French culture, and pretends not to understand when Quebec speaks French. Best friends with Spain. Ignores North Korea. Resents Ukraine a bit for being the only European student taller than he is.

FreeStater ♂ (JP) - Is good buddies with Kentucky and Texas. Friendly but keeps to himself usually. Makes average grades. Not fond of ItzIngenious.

Gabon ♀ (AF) - Former friend of Congo and DR Congo, but when her family got a bit of money she distanced herself from them. Gets along well with France, and has close friendships with Morocco and Trinidad. Has a little crush on Cameroon. Gets annoyed due to the fact that Equatorial Guinea tends to interrupt their conversations a lot.

Gambia ♀ (AF) - She gets along pretty well with Mauritania and Libya, and has a longer friendship with Mali. Randomly jumps back and forth between if she likes China or Taiwan more. Really close friends with Sierra Leone and Senegal.

Georgia ♂ (US) - This kid is super fly (or whatever the term for that is these days). He knows everything about rap music - past and present. He’s a tough, urban kid with some charming, rural tendencies. He’s more street-smart than book-smart, but he’s acing American History.

Georgia ♀ (AS) - She enjoys nature and polyphonic singing. She tends to create her own inner circle in school and has an accent that most do not understand. She absolutely despises Russia and his family for how they have terrorized her family for decades. She usually sticks to herself, although she is sometimes friendly with Turkey and Azerbaijan, as well as Greece. Gets along great with Latvia, Lithuania, and Ukraine. Used to be close with Armenia, but they both mutually decided not to hang out as much.

Germany ♂ (EU) - A hardworking kid who tried his hardest to reform as he spent some time in juvenile detention in middle school. In a fit of rage he stabbed Israel with a pen in elementary school and has been coddling him ever since to make up for it. Gets along good with Belgium, Switzerland, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Denmark, and France, although France and Germany had a bit of a rocky relationship early on.

Ghana ♂ (AF) - He makes the best coffee and he works at Starbucks. He's best friends with Sierra Leone. Also likes to hang out with Nigeria.

Greece ♂ (EU) - Is always proud of himself even though he has to do a lot of jobs to earn money for school fees; his mother was a very famous person. He hates Turkey, and he would do anything to get him in trouble. He doesn’t really like Albania because of previous issues. He is fond of Armenia, Serbia and Cyprus, often helps them doing projects in school or even willing to cover their wrongdoings. Used to be popular back in preschool. He’s still holding on to that history.

Greenland ♂ (NA) - A guy that seems to observe the world from a distance. Is quite linked to Denmark but they are very different physically. Tends to keep to himself mostly.

Grenada ♀ (NA) - She began hanging out with Russia in middle school until United States beat her up and blackmailed her into ceasing contact with him. Hangs out with Cuba occasionally, and great with Saint Vincent.

Guadeloupe ♀ (NA) - She has very wavy brown hair and always seems like she is dancing. She wears very prominent gold jewelry. Gets along great with Martinique, and they finish each other’s sentences and share clothes. She’s cool with Haiti and some others. Sometimes hangs with Dominican Republic and Barbados for beach parties.

Guam ♀ (OC) - A girl with tanned skin that always wears tropical flowers and traditional shell jewelry. Her parents are both deployed in the navy, so she stays with her grandparents. Gets along great with Philippines. Hangs out sometimes with Palau, Micronesia, and Marshall Islands, swapping stories about their childhood. Hawaii nods at her in the halls like a distant cool cousin, but they don’t really vibe that well.

Guatemala ♀ (NA) - She is surprisingly really good friends with Taiwan, and as a result, not looked at fondly by China or his sycophants. Gets along with El Salvador and Honduras. Has an up and down relationship with Mexico, viewing her as a bit snobby, while Mexico kind of looks down on her.

Guinea ♀ (AF) - Destined to be a miner just like her parents. Good friends with Liberia and Sierra Leone, randomly switching between the two in terms of who she likes more. Has adoration for Morocco and Côte d'Ivoire and wants to be friends, but they basically just thank her and go hang out with their other friends, forgetting about Guinea like a lost puppy.

Guinea-Bissau ♀ (AF) - Nobody really knows this girl. One of the people in Portugal's old circle, but probably the one out of that group that dislikes Portugal the most. Close with Cape Verde.

Guyana ♀ (SA) - Major depressive issues and suicidal tendencies. Her parents recently won the lottery. Good friends with Brazil and India. Gets on really well with Trinidad and Suriname, though she and Suriname argue a bit.

Haiti ♂ (NA) - A lot of people at the school are kind of afraid of him; he's always coughing. His father is in a gang and is an alcoholic. They live in a wooden shack. Friends with Quebec.

Hawaii ♀ (US) - She misses school all the time to go on spontaneous vacations. Always in a great mood and wears floral print clothes. She’s taken approximately infinite selfies. She and Maine get along great. Dating Nevada.

Honduras ♂ (NA) - Has a love-hate relationship with El Salvador. They used to be best friends. He is still decently amicable with El Salvador, but all bets are off when it comes to soccer.

Hong Kong ♂ (AS) - Sharp, fast-talking hustler in designer backpacks, always hyper on sugary bubble tea and stock apps. Crushes math and economics, organizes killer study groups, and has great skin despite getting barely any sleep. He has a tense relationship with China. Hangs with Singapore and Macau, as they are rich overachievers just like he is. Pretends in front of China that he doesn't hang out with Taiwan even though he does.

Hungary ♂ (EU) - Has a crush on Poland. He absolutely hates Romania, and trips Romania whenever he sees him in the hallways. Is a bit closer to Russia than others in the Europe group are comfortable with, and so shunned by his European counterparts for his intrigue for Russia. Does not pay his club fees on time. Is not fond of Ukraine since Poland has started ditching Hungary to hang out with Ukraine. A bit racist without apology.

 Iceland ♂ (EU) - Emo kid with black hair and fingernails. He eats rotten shark meat for lunch. Hangs out with Greenland from time to time. Has complicated past with Norway and keeps his distance.

Idaho ♂ (US) - He grew up shucking corn and peeling potatoes. He aspires to be a dairy farmer. He’s deceptively brilliant but socially inept. He brings boiled eggs and RC cola for lunch most days.

Illinois ♀ (US) - She grew up working on cars, trucks and motorcycles in her father’s garage. She scares California and sometimes helps Florida figure out how to use the drinking fountain. 

India ♂ (AS) - He works part time in the school command center and gets paid to fix people's computers. People make fun of his accent, which makes him sad. He is very smart, and he brings the same lunch to school every day. Does not get along with Pakistan.

Indiana ♂ (US) - This guy does it all. Football, basketball, baseball, soccer, hockey, wrestling and several others. He’s sometimes a bit over-competitive but has a soft spot for the underdog. Gets along with the sports kids, like South Africa, Portugal, Argentina, and the guys on the football team, like Russia and Samoa. Is also good friends with Colin due to their shared interest in badminton.

Indonesia ♀ (AS) - Girl that keeps to herself mostly. Gets along quite well with the Arab students, although she got into a conflict with Saudi Arabia due to her brothers being treated poorly at his family's factory. Hangs out with Japan.

Iowa ♀ (US) - She wears short jean shorts to school at all times of year no matter the temperature. Has a strange affinity for corn. She hangs out with Arizona and Idaho sometimes.

Iran ♂ (AS) - An intelligent and relaxed student with an interesting family background. He appears very religious and conservative to the other students, although he is secretly going through a rebellious phase at home. His family has a complicated relationship with the United States and has meddled a lot with Iraq’s household. Vowed to protect Armenia from harm. Is growing increasingly hostile with United States and Israel.

Iraq ♂ (AS) - A moaning loner at school. He is constantly teased and patronised by the little mind games that Iran and the United States play on him. His family were the first to building houses in the local neighborhood during the very old days. He used to be friends with the US, but was falsely accused of having a gun in his school bag and suspended, ruining his family’s reputation. Kind of attached at the hip with Syria, and also fond of Yemen and Egypt.

Ireland ♂ (EU) - He grew up in a Catholic Church, but is pretty much always starting fights. Is almost always publicly intoxicated. England drugged him at a party and took his wallet in 9th grade, and they haven't spoken since.

Israel ♂ (AS) - A Jewish kid whose family moved into Palestine’s old family home a few decades ago. He comes from a wealthy financial background and is friends with the United States. His family is often disliked by the rest of the neighborhood, at least that’s what they say in front of their other neighbors. Recently, he has become super controversial at school when his parents, who own Palestine's house, had them evicted when they could not pay rent, and he and Palestine get into physical fights almost daily. Israel always promises to stop, but always goes back on his word to trip Palestine in the hallway. Got into a major fight with Iran last year as well. Is still coddled by the European students and United States, much to the chagrin of other students, particularly South Africa, who helped Palestine press criminal charges on Israel. Gets on good with Germany, France, and Russia. Used to be good with Armenia, until it was found out that Israel was telling Azerbaijan where Armenia would be after school so Azerbaijan could jump him. Egypt and Jordan sometimes smile in Israel's face but they secretly hate him too.

Italy ♂ (EU) - The guy who smokes cigarettes all over campus. He has a history that people try to ignore but it rubs some the wrong way. Smiles in France's face but they both secretly like to compete with each other. Gets on great with Greece and Spain.

ItzIngenious ♂ (JP) - A particularly unstable kid and attempts to be the class clown. Gets teased/bullied by a bunch of kids like Russia and New Jersey. Sometimes accepts it and plays along, other times randomly lashing out about it. Sometimes has quite obnoxious jokes, other times very funny ones. Takes pleasure in being annoying. Is often in trouble with the teacher. Is quite a good scholar, but intentionally makes it so people don’t focus on that side of him. Doesn't get along with California, and so is pretty cool with Texas. Not really fond of FreeStater.

Jamaica ♂ (NA) - Is a stoner. He has been suspended twice for marijuana use. Is one of the fastest runners at the school. He is suspicious of how nice China is to him. Gets along great with Ethiopia, and gravitates toward United States, Canada, and England.

Japan ♂ (AS) - He is a catboy. Wears a cat tail and cat ears to school. Secretly hates South Korea and completely ignores North Korea's existence. Japan is nice to United States' face, but secretly harbors a lot of resentment towards him. United States' dad threw acid on Japan's dad in a bullying attempt, and Japan has not forgiven their family. Mutual hatred for Colin.

Jordan ♀ (AS) - A friendly student who is usually considered a basic and average kid at school. Her family is a little poor, but they are very good in the trade business with the other families in the neighborhood. She is proud of his old Arabian heritage. Her family often tries to help out Palestine’s family. She has an unusual affinity for pottery and recreating old oriental art.

Kansas ♂ (US) - He's never seen an R-rated movie and is extremely sheltered by his parents. He tucks his button-down shirts into his khaki pants every day. He wears a fanny pack that he carries his toothbrush in and he brushes his teeth in the school bathroom after lunch. His shoes are Velcro, he makes straight As, and his greatest aspiration is to be invited to a party.

Kazakhstan ♂ (AS) - He's only just started to realize what others have been telling him: Russia is bad news. He gets along great with Turkey, Mongolia, and South Korea. Kyrgyzstan is kind of a friend, but Kyrgyzstan constantly asks Kazakhstan to borrow money. Tends to do whatever Russia says but recently has started to follow the crowd in their shunning of Russia.

Kentucky ♂ (US) - Is an expert at booze. He wants to have a great mullet like Alabama, or have pure drugs like Mississippi, but sadly falls short.

Kenya ♂ (AF) - Really chill. He’s a complete jock. He’s also a part of lots of clubs, but everybody always looks over that. Being outside is his escapism. He gets along great with Ethiopia, Tanzania, and Uganda.

KilwaAfarCheese ♂ (JP) - Gets A's and B's usually. Hangs out usually with Ethiopia and Kenya. Is a practicing Muslim.

Kingsfisher ♂ (JP) - The conservative communist, suffers from inadequate mood swings, becomes either a clown or a teacher's sycophant. Has very bad jokes. Unable to write his name correctly, speaks broken English. He does not eat in the canteen, for which the cooks hate him. Loves Russia (and the feeling is most certainly NOT mutual), India, Serbia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Syria, Norway, Canada, Scotland, Brazil and Hungary; is in love with Belarus.

Kiribati ♀ (OC) - She always wakes up the earliest out of everyone she knows. Fiji is a good friend, and she tried to be friends with both China and Taiwan, until China found out, got angry and cut ties. Gets along great with Palau and Micronesia.

 Kosovo ♂ (EU) - Used to be forced into a toxic friendship with Serbia, but eventually broke free and now hangs with Albania. Is friendly with North Macedonia, Turkey, and Bulgaria.

Kuwait ♀ (AS) - A girl who gets good grades and comes from a wealthy family background. She is generally calm and good-natured. Great friends with Saudi Arabia. Used to date Iraq, until his family invaded her house, and they broke up and got back together multiple times after that. When things went bad with Iraq, she kind of had a fling with Qatar, but broke that off too. However, when the entire Arab group of students turned on Qatar, she remembered the good times and stayed silent.

Kyrgyzstan ♂ (AS) - Guy that was close friends and attached at the hip with Kazakhstan all throughout elementary school, but they drifted apart as Kazakhstan got a little rich and popular and Kyrgyzstan... didn't. Now, he constantly asks for money from Kazakhstan, which drives them apart further. Sort of vigilant around China. Has always vied for Russia's attention, which unfortunately he hasn't really gotten. Gets along good with Turkey.

Laos ♂ (AS) - The United States planted some land mines at Laos' house as a joke, but they went off, destroying his house. Vietnam has tried to kind of be dominant over him, but Laos tries to make other friends when Vietnam isn't looking. Gets along good with Thailand, and also the Philippines to an extent.

Latvia ♀ (EU) - Like Lithuania, she used to be bullied by Russia. Hangs out with Lithuania, Finland, and Estonia. Cool with Ukraine and Georgia.

Lebanon ♀ (AS) - She loves to read and is sometimes known to be quite the party animal. She is currently in a major argument with Israel, and therefore is hanging out with Iran more than usual. She's also great with Egypt. She is generally ridiculed by all the other Arab students, and randomly switches between practicing Islam and Christianity. She is proud of her Catholic roots, and has told others about her potentially being Maronite, but also loves being a Shia Muslim and had a phase where she couldn't stop talking about how much she loves Iran, but then also randomly starts speaking French sometimes, but then also randomly claimed to be Druze, but then also tries to hang out with Saudi Arabia's group sometimes. She'a a confusing individual.

Lesotho ♂ (AF) - South Africa has always kind of overshadowed him in everything. Gets looked at a little weirdly for wearing jackets and sweaters to school all the time. Has a fondness for Ireland. Gets along good with South Africa, and to a lesser extent, Namibia, Botswana, and Eswatini.

Liberia ♂ (AF) - Major United States fanboy. Dresses like United States. Snuck spyware onto United States' phone to listen to his private conversations. Stalks United States, and takes the same classes he does, but gets bad grades.

Libya ♀ (AF) - Girl whose family used to be very rich from the oil industry, but lately has been experiencing some issues. She gets very good grades and used to be one of the most popular girls in school but has faded away with time. Egypt is a pretty close friend, but Libya is a bit closer with Algeria and Tunisia, though there has been recent drama with Tunisia.

 Liechtenstein ♂ (EU) - Monaco's older brother. Is constantly giving Monaco advice. Great friends with Switzerland and gets along good with Austria and Germany.

Lingonax ♂ (JP) - A quiet kid that rarely ever speaks. He is one of Russia's major targets for bullying. He doesn't seem to have many friends, and keeps to himself mostly.

Lithuania ♀ (EU) - She used to be bullied by Russia. Hangs out with Estonia, Latvia, and Finland. Has a weird fondness for Poland.

Louisiana ♂ (US) - This guy knows everything about all things music. Any album, any band, any song, any style or genre. He’s often seen hanging out and having friendly debates with Georgia and Massachusetts. He’s in the marching band.

LuckyCat ♂ (JP) - Has glasses and is considered a nerd. Studies geography in his free time, prioritizes random things rather than actual academics and grades. Still manages to get As and Bs. Brings his cat to school which makes him popular, but the staff members don't like it. He pays the administration monthly to be allowed to continue doing this. Wants to be in a relationship with Costa Rica but is scared to ask. Good friends with South Carolina, New Zealand, Astana, McKenzieFam, and Capybarra.

Luxembourg ♂ (EU) - Is seen as a role model throughout the school. Is Monaco's oldest brother.

Macau ♂ (AS) -  Flashy guy in tailored jackets and gold watches, always smirking like he owns the casino (because his family does). Runs underground poker games, crushes business classes, and keeps A's on all his transcripts thanks to “family donations to the school district". Tense with China. Hangs out with Singapore and Hong Kong, and has nostalgic hangouts with Portugal.