Interesting Quotes by JetPunk Users

1 "A long quote is fine. A brief quote is good. The best quote is meaningful silence. But the quote people want to read is funny."

—unimp0rtant

2 "The truth is that when life closes a door, my finger is right there."

—MG17

3 "I'm Nazgul."

—Jato3

4 "Humans are more dependant on the supermarket than they are on each other."

—unimp0rtant

5 "Don't Google anything that someone under the age of 20 tells you to Google."

—unimp0rtant

—unimp0rtant

—Every YouTuber ever

8 "Any philosopher's wisdom pales in comparison to the truth of quote five."

—FreeStater

9 "I take pride in my humility."

—Fianchetto

10 "The most disturbing thing to read in Braille is 'Do not touch'."

—Fianchetto

11 "Why do you think 9/10 dentists agree? It's because they know what happens to the 10th dentists. What else do they make all the toothpaste from?"

—Neodymium

12 "Most people will prefer a 4.1 star restaurant with 2k reviews than a 5 star restaurant with 50 reviews just because more people rated the first one. Change my mind."

—Coolcaden26

13 "The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell."

—Jay Pritchett, from the televesion show "Modern Family"

14 "You know what they say, 'When you take a picture of a wheat field, it will always turn out grainy.'"

—vfjkgvrvirvnrivn

15 "When the drip is dripping the cookie is cooking."

—FumChum

16 "York, New?"

—Fianchetto

17 "What's the name of that ogre from Shrek?"

—ooftownroad

18 "'If I were a bank robber, heck, I wouldn't rob banks. I'd rob senior centers. Grandmas are filthy rich.'

—totally not me"

—ItzIngenious

19 "The only thing easier to rob than a senior center is a vegetable stand."

—unimp0rtant

20 "Trying is the first step towards failure."

—Homer Simpson

21 "(he was a Nazi)"

—McKenzieFam

22 - A comment thread chunk from Interesting Quotes - Page 22

It begins:

Feb. 15, 2023—comment by JohnnyYeet: "'I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way So [sic] I stole someone's bike and asked God for forgiveness.' - George Washington, probably"

Feb. 18, 2023—reply to JohnnyYeet's comment, written by Neodymium: "I also asked god to give me the power of prophecy to learn of the future invention of the bike. - George Washington, probably [sic]"

May 6, 2023—reply to JohnnyYeet's comment, written by unimp0rtant: "'I asked God to punish the person who stole my bike, and gave him a double thumbs up.' -George Washington's neighbour whose bike was stolen"

Jul. 9, 2023—reply to unimp0rtant's reply, written by McKenzieFam: "Someone asked me for a bike, then took matters into his own hands and stole a bike before asking me for forgiveness. Then the guy who had his bike stolen asked me to punish the first guy. A third person asked me for prophecy because the bike hadn't even been invented. All claimed to be the same guy. So I forgave them all before punishing everyone too. -God"

Sep. 22, 2023—reply to McKenzieFam's reply, written by kartaj: "I asked God to punish the person who asked for the power of the phrophecy so i could learn about the future invention of the bike, create one for my neighbour, then steal it without him knowing. - George Washington"

Oct. 13, 2023—reply to McKenzieFam's reply, written by unimp0rtant: "'I ran over George Washington with a bike.' -God's neighbour"

23 "There is no 'broccoli' in 'calculator'"

—TheNatureThread

24 "There is no difference, at this point in time, between a pessimist, a nihilist, and a realist. Which is exactly something a pessimist and a nihilist (like me) would say."

—unimp0rtant

25 "Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, and Springfield are all in different states."

—Fianchetto

24 “A bird in the hand is worth about one third of a bird not in a figure of speech.”

—unimp0rtant 

25 “CGI is the thief of imagination.”

—unimp0rtant

26 "Aristotle does have a point. I have about 20 teeth and 0 women."

—Azawadu

27 "Monopolies aren't good, but they sure are convenient."

—McKenzieFam

28 "So all of history so far is just a period?!

—TheNatureThread

29 "'Has Jim been in an inn in Indiana?' - me. At the very least, it's fun to say."

—Fianchetto

30 "There is a disturbance in follicle 42A."

—Fianchetto's friend as he reaches over to pick a piece of food or dandruff or something out of Fianchetto's other friend's hair

31 "I fear no retribution! Unless said retribution includes intense pain and suffering."

—unimp0rtant

32 "Who is this?"

—Jerry Seinfeld

33 "A lot of people say that if you dig long enough and hard enough you will get to China, and that may be true, but what they don't tell you is that if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend."

—Michael Scott

34 "I thought Arabic was the most commonly spoken language in Sweden."

—riverdale

35 "Why won’t you people just let this movie franchise die?!!"

—unimp0rtant

36 - Those Were The Facts (parody of Those Were The Days), written by unimp0rtant on Interesting Facts - Page 193 

"Boy, the way that DawnX schemed

plans that made Australians beam

Users like us made up memes

Those were the days

Didn't need no textbook stuff

Int'resting facts went so tough

Wikipedia was enough

Those were the days

And we would correct things when

facts were wrong and spelling bent

Mister we could use a man like Neodymium again

People seemed to want content

Half an hour was well-spent

facts were always gladly lent

Those were the days

Take a little school day surf

Log on to your favorite turf

Learn a few things and post a

stupid fact about a serf

Quotes were short but facts weren't long

'Adolf Hitler smoked a bong'

'Certain pianos have prongs'

Those were the days!!!"

—unimp0rtant

37 "I guess this is my life now."

—unimp0rtant

38 “Imagine your whole family and friends dying because it’s cloudy in another city.”

—DawnX

39 “What goes up, uhh… stays in Vegas.”

—Gumball Watterson

40 “There's a word for when everyone in a country is getting drunk just to get through the day. That word is 'Russia'.”

—Bill Maher