The Onion's Countries by Description

Can you guess these random countries based on their descriptions in The Onion's satirical atlas, Our Dumb World?
These are satirical writings of The Onion and in no way represent my actual beliefs about these countries.
Some of these descriptions may not make sense outside the context of the book; feel free to leave a comment and inquire about anything that confused you!
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sealsi6
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Last updated: September 8, 2020
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First submittedSeptember 7, 2020
Times taken108
Average score35.0%
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Description
Country
About Uzbekistan
Uzbekistan
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Costa Rica
Ruled By Lemurs
Madagascar
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
Antigua and Barbuda
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Kenya
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
San Marino
Escaping The American Dream
Liberia
Allah's Cat Box
Afghanistan
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Chile
The Worst Of Both Worlds
St. Vincent and the Grenadines
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Malta
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
Eritrea
At Least We're Not The Democratic Republic of Congo
Republic of Congo
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
Brazil
A Nation In Smithereens
Belize
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Pakistan
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
Panama
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Malawi
They Are Called "Kyrgyz", And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Kyrgyzstan
Come On In-- The Water's Fine!
Gambia
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2 Comments
+1
Level 61
Sep 8, 2020
Congo doesn't work for the Republic of Congo.
+1
Level 59
Sep 8, 2020
Fixed!