The Onion's Countries by Description - Statistics

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General Stats

This quiz has been taken 108 times
The average score is 7 of 20

Answer Stats

Description	Country	% Correct
Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us	Armenia	100%
Birthplace Of Classical Muzak	Austria	100%
A Human Assembly Line	China	100%
Genocide Free Since April 11, 1946	Germany	100%
The Baltic Drainage Region	Latvia	100%
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket	Lebanon	100%
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta	Spain	100%
Neutral... Too Neutral	Switzerland	100%
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section As Soon As The EU Accepts Them	Turkey	100%
The Land Of Opportunism	United States	100%
At Least We're Not The Democratic Republic of Congo	Republic of Congo	89%
South America's Middleman	Colombia	83%
Ruled By Lemurs	Madagascar	83%
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir	Pakistan	83%
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818	Chile	80%
They Are Called "Kyrgyz", And It Only Goes Downhill From There	Kyrgyzstan	80%
You Are Most Welcome... To Get Out Of Syria!	Syria	80%
Made In Taiwan	Taiwan	80%
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century	United Kingdom	80%
The Catholic Disneyland	Vatican City	80%
True Rasta No Develop Country	Jamaica	75%
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!	North Korea	75%
It's A Winter Wonderland!	Finland	67%
Even More Christian Than The Other Georgia	Georgia	67%
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe	Iran	67%
South Africa's South Africa	Lesotho	67%
Goodbye, Cruel World	Lithuania	67%
Where Russians Are Sent To Die	Russia	67%
So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing	Serbia	67%
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay	Uruguay	67%
Free Admission On Sundays	Egypt	60%
Blowing Their Pot O' Gold On Whiskey	Ireland	60%
The Empty Promised Land	Israel	60%
So Sorry For Getting Nuked	Japan	60%
Where Everything Is Legal	Netherlands	60%
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute	Thailand	60%
The Bridebasket Of Europe	Ukraine	60%
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty	Singapore	57%
Why Read About Suriname?	Suriname	56%
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community	Argentina	50%
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff	Belgium	50%
For The United States, See Pages 9-22	Canada	50%
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?	Central African Republic	50%
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood	Dominican Republic	50%
The Distended Belly Of Africa	Ethiopia	50%
2,500 Years Past Its Prime	Greece	50%
So "Cold" From All The "Ice"	Iceland	50%
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems	Kenya	50%
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer	Monaco	50%
REQUEST FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE	Nigeria	50%
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe	Norway	50%
Bram Stoker's Romania	Romania	50%
Okay, We Made This One Up	Tonga	50%
The Horror... The Horror...	Vietnam	50%
They Had It Coming	Iraq	44%
Soon To Be Underwater	Maldives	43%
A Bad Neighborhood	South Africa	43%
The Haiti Of Europe	Albania	40%
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest	Brazil	40%
Workers Of The World, Survive!	Cuba	40%
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis	Niger	40%
Always With The Gd* Pan Flutes	Peru	36%
Allah's Cat Box	Afghanistan	33%
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism	Azerbaijan	33%
Running On Fumes	Bahrain	33%
Yo Ho Ho And An Untraceable Income	Barbados	33%
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls	Cambodia	33%
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People	Djibouti	33%
Badly In Need of A Savior	El Salvador	33%
A Lush and Diverse Crime Scene	Honduras	33%
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria	India	33%
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift	Indonesia	33%
What Are You Looking At?	Italy	33%
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas	San Marino	33%
Don't Breathe The Air	Slovakia	33%
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At	Democratic Republic of the Congo	29%
Living Fat Off The Land	Samoa	29%
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This	Bhutan	25%
United In Circular Dancing	Estonia	25%
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears	Eswatini	25%
An Agoraphobic's Hell	Malta	25%
Holy Living F***-- They Still Have Slaves Here	Mauritania	25%
You Will Be Shot On Sight	Myanmar	25%
Please Don't Feed The Humans	Tanzania	25%
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!	Turkmenistan	25%
Right On The Equatorish	Equatorial Guinea	22%
A Blood Diamond Is Forever	Sierra Leone	22%
A Nation In Smithereens	Belize	20%
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest	Ecuador	20%
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy	Kiribati	20%
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort	Malaysia	20%
In A World... Where Nothing Is What It Seems...	New Zealand	20%
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here	Oman	20%
Just Not The Same Without Civil War	Angola	17%
Inhabitable By 2307	Belarus	17%
A Country Divided Exactly In Half	Cyprus	17%
Going Through A Rebellious Phase	Eritrea	17%
Oh, The Injustice!	Luxembourg	17%
Earth's Crawlspace	Nepal	17%
#1 At Being #2	South Korea	17%
About Uzbekistan	Uzbekistan	17%
One Nation Above God	France	14%
Huddled In The Corner Of Africa	Guinea	14%
A Mystical Land Of Junk	Morocco	14%
A Lucky, Lucky Nation	Namibia	14%
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money	Sao Tome and Principe	14%
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds	Libya	11%
Terrorism's Farm Team	Algeria	0%
The Outlet Mall Of Europe	Andorra	0%
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding	Antigua and Barbuda	0%
As Seen On Animal Planet	Australia	0%
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself	Bahamas	0%
God's Practical Joke	Bangladesh	0%
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?	Benin	0%
Living High Off The Land	Bolivia	0%
Partners In War Crime	Bosnia And Herzegovina	0%
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana	Botswana	0%
A Money-Rich Nation	Brunei	0%
Ancestral Home Of The Goons	Bulgaria	0%
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends	Burkina Faso	0%
The Completist's Genocide	Burundi	0%
You'll Only Find It On A Map	Cameroon	0%
Demoted To The Fourth World	Cape Verde	0%
Where Even The Elephants Take Brines	Chad	0%
By Estée Lauder	Comoros	0%
Properties Available, Inquire Today	Costa Rica	0%
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury	Croatia	0%
Where People Go To Say They've Been	Czech Republic	0%
We're Happy Because You're Not Here	Denmark	0%
We Have No Beaches	Dominica	0%
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It	East Timor	0%
President Bongo's Private Residence	Gabon	0%
Come On In-- The Water's Fine!	Gambia	0%
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide	Ghana	0%
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack	Grenada	0%
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter	Guatemala	0%
Keep Your Chin Up!	Guinea Bissau	0%
A History Of Exploitation And Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide	Guyana	0%
Plight Of The Living Dead	Haiti	0%
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter	Hungary	0%
Unstable At Last	Ivory Coast	0%
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania	Jordan	0%
A Huge Waste Of Space	Kazakhstan	0%
On Loan From The U.S.	Kuwait	0%
A Mud Hole	Laos	0%
Escaping The American Dream	Liberia	0%
A Neighbor You Can Bank On	Liechtenstein	0%
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia	Macedonia	0%
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died	Malawi	0%
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere	Mali	0%
A Popular Nuke Destination	Marshall Islands	0%
An Island Nation, Not A Disease	Mauritius	0%
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys	Mexico	0%
Europe's Basement	Moldova	0%
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry	Mongolia	0%
Just Getting Out Of A Bad International Relationship	Montenegro	0%
From Rags To Tatters	Mozambique	0%
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start	Nicaragua	0%
An Island Of Moochers	Palau	0%
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem	Panama	0%
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck	Papua New Guinea	0%
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West-- That's All We've Got	Paraguay	0%
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read	Poland	0%
Still Searching For India	Portugal	0%
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News	Qatar	0%
The Land That Time, Newsweek, and USA Today Forgot	Rwanda	0%
All Is Forbidden	Saudi Arabia	0%
Please... Give Us.... Water...	Senegal	0%
Definitely Possibly A Country	Seychelles	0%
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837	Slovenia	0%
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation	Somalia	0%
It's All Your Fault	Sri Lanka	0%
One Doesn't Blow	St. Kitts and Nevia	0%
Uncharted Desert Island Economy	St. Lucia	0%
The Worst Of Both Worlds	St. Vincent and the Grenadines	0%
All Better Now Thanks To You	Sudan	0%
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones	Sweden	0%
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way	Tajikistan	0%
A To-Go Nation	Togo	0%
How Low Can A Country Go?	Trinidad and Tobago	0%
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell	Tunisia	0%
No Child Left Alive	Uganda	0%
The World's Only Seven Star Nation	United Arab Emirates	0%
An Island Unto Itself	Vanuatu	0%
F*** Everyone	Venezuela	0%
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work	Yemen	0%
No Fat Chicks	Zambia	0%
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs	Zimbabwe	0%

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