The Onion's Countries by Description

Can you guess these random countries based on their descriptions in The Onion's satirical atlas, Our Dumb World?
These are satirical writings of The Onion and in no way represent my actual beliefs about these countries.
Some of these descriptions may not make sense outside the context of the book; feel free to leave a comment and inquire about anything that confused you!
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sealsi6
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Last updated: September 8, 2020
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First submittedSeptember 7, 2020
Times taken108
Average score35.0%
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Description
Country
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
Djibouti
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
Slovenia
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Monaco
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Sweden
All Is Forbidden
Saudi Arabia
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Benin
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Bahamas
Running On Fumes
Bahrain
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
Yemen
Europe's Basement
Moldova
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Guatemala
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
Papua New Guinea
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Cyprus
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
India
The Baltic Drainage Region
Latvia
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Democratic Republic of the Congo
You'll Only Find It On A Map
Cameroon
Definitely Possibly A Country
Seychelles
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Somalia
They Are Called "Kyrgyz", And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Kyrgyzstan
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2 Comments
+1
Level 61
Sep 8, 2020
Congo doesn't work for the Republic of Congo.
+1
Level 59
Sep 8, 2020
Fixed!