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Bad Reviews of Christmas Carols

Can you guess these Christmas songs by these Grinchy, Scroogey reviews?
Quiz by
Dimby
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Last updated: December 20, 2022
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First submittedDecember 20, 2022
Times taken92
Average score53.3%
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A social outcast experiences bullying but, by one cool act, he becomes popular. The song just rips off Napoleon Dynamite’s plot.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
A golem-type creature briefly experiences life with magic apparel. He will surely suffer a miserable melting-related death.
Frosty the Snowman
Santa is a dirty home wrecker, but for some reason the singer thinks his dad would have found it funny. Adultery is never funny!
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
A tense story of survival, as a young girl ponders escape from a manipulative predator versus the withering weather. Inappropriate!
Baby It’s Cold Outside
Way, way too much percussion in this song. Do babies even like percussion? It’d probably scare them. Terrible gift for the king.
The Little Drummer Boy
Clearly a song for people with food obsession. Whipped cream, sugar dates, and… a pumpkin head? Keep Halloween out of my Xmas!
A Marshmallow World
Santa Claus takes over the role of Big Brother. It’s Christmas dystopia, and we’re all on a list and being surveilled.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
The singer surgically removed their heart to give to someone, but that person regifted it? Illogical! Are these people zombies?
Last Christmas
Hint
Answer
A horse drawn carriage takes people to… Farmer Gray’s birthday?! Christmas is not about farmer Gray’s birthday! Blasphemous.
Sleigh Ride
One of the greatest carols ever! A family deals with inheritance issues following the death of their grandmother in a freak accident.
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
The singer is obsessed with nostalgia, going on and on about a gift he got as a wee lad, but he doesn’t even know what it was! Move on!
The Marvelous Toy
Disgusting capitalist excess abounds. True love is merely bought. The price? Hundreds of animals and servants performing menial work.
12 Days of Christmas
Three brothers pine for gifts, especially a hula hoop. The singers all have a wicked falsetto, though—so talented.
The Chipmunk Song
The most aggressively sexual ode to a man in power since Monroe sang to JFK. The singer must know that the jolly old man is married!
Santa Baby
A king becomes obsessed when he sees a poor man on a snowy night and sets out to hunt him down. A chilling look at classism.
Good King Wenceslas
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2 Comments
Quizkid03
+1
Level 49
Dec 27, 2024
I swear, some of the people on these review websites ether don’t know what they’re talking about or are just trying to get a laugh and/or a reaction out of people.
Dimby
+1
Level 83
Dec 27, 2024
I wrote these trying to be funny. I suppose I should probably put that on the quiz. 🤔
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