| Hint | Answer | % Correct |
|---|---|---|
| The zookeeper told me I was more slothful than all her animals—even the sloths. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 88%
|
| My mother-in-law objected at the wedding because I was habitually chilly and rotund. Diagnosis: | Fat! | 82%
|
| The clown at my son’s birthday squirted water at me because I’m corpulent. Diagnosis: | Fat! | 78%
|
| My local rabbi respects my efforts to have high self esteem despite my portliness. Diagnosis: | Fat! | 78%
|
| Someone in the JetPunk comments called me myopic.
Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 78%
|
| My congresswoman wouldn’t read my letters because I’m stout. Diagnosis: | Fat! | 76%
|
| My fertility doctor identified that my problem was that I was languid. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 73%
|
| Singing cowboy, Roy Rogers, sang a song about how languorous I am. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 70%
|
| My friend Dottie called me an oaf in her memaw’s eulogy. Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 65%
|
| I’m too obtuse to compete with my wife’s tennis instructor. Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 64%
|
| A Walmart greeter in a Rascal scooter called me vacuous. Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 62%
|
| The cops said I ran over that pedestrian because I’m lackadaisical. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 60%
|
| The bank manager closed my Bitcoin account because I’m fatuous. Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 60%
|
| The lawnmower salesman kicked me out for looking like a shiftless Canadian. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 57%
|
| The farmer judged me to be as adipose as his worst ox. Diagnosis: | Fat! | 53%
|
| They kicked me out of Taco Bell for being indolent. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 53%
|
| The priest said it’s a sin that I’m so biblically sottish. Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 37%
|
| The airline forced the pilot to apologize for saying I was “beyond embonpoint.” Diagnosis: | Fat! | 36%
|
| The food delivery man gently touched my neck because he liked me torpid. Diagnosis: | Lazy! | 34%
|
| I don’t use revolving doors because I am far too nescient. Diagnosis: | Stupid! | 30%
|