Part 1: Oliver’s First Day

The little bell on the door jingled as the nervous koala walked through the door. The smell of fresh-baked dough filled the air, trickling up his round, black nose. This was it. His first job since moving to Mobius. It wasn’t much, sure; it was just a part-time gig at a pizza shop, but it was at least a start. His family constantly hounded him back home about getting a real job, and he could finally say he had something tangible.

He stood up on his tip-toes as he reached the counter, his hands resting on the metal edge. The zit-faced human with long, greasy hair behind the counter looked at his phone.

“Er, hello, my name is Oliver… Oliver Henry… I’m here for the new job, it’s my first-”

“Hey.” He looked up with the blankest stare one could possibly muster up. A brief silence paused, as Oliver glanced around, before looking at the kid’s little, round, blank name tag.

“What was your name again?” The kid blinked, saying nothing. Oliver wasn’t sure if he’d heard him. “Erm, what was… never mind. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah.” Another silence followed. On one hand, it was a good thing he’d shown up five minutes before his shift, since he had no idea where the boss was, or what he was supposed to do. On the other hand…

Oliver set his stuff down and went to do wash his hands, as a figure appeared out of nowhere behind him, making him jump out of his skin.

“WELCOME, NEWCOMER!!!” Oliver’s heart stopped. The disembodied voice echoed in his head. He slowly turned around to see a giant meatball, hovering slightly off the ground. Oliver stumbled back. He’d heard that voice over the phone when he interviewed, but to see his meaty form in the flesh was something else entirely.

“I AM PROFESSOR PIZZA. EXPLORER, PIONEER, ARTISAN, SCIENTIST, AND LOCAL BUSINESS OWNER. WELCOME TO PROFESSOR PIZZA’S PIZZAS.” Oliver fumbled over his words.

“Um, yeah, hi, we talked over the- the phone-” The spherical, meaty giant inched closer towards him as he backed up into the counter.

“AH YES! I RECOGNIZE YOUR VOICE, NEWCOMER. I HIRED YOU ON THE PHONE. AND LOOK AT THAT! YOU ARE HERE EXACTLY ONE MINUTE AHEAD OF YOUR START TIME. MARVELOUS!!!”

“Th-thank you.” He looked around. “Is there a clock-”

“THERE IS NO TIME FOR SUCH THINGS, NEWCOMER, FOR WE’VE GOT TO GET STARTED! THERE ARE WORLDS TO EXPLORE, DISCOVERIES TO MAKE, BREAKTHROUGHS TO BE ACCOMPLISHED, AND PIZZAS TO BE DELIVERED!” The professor focused his energy, as a small apron and uniform floated into the room and into the hands of the young koala. “COME.” His voice was enthusiastic and bombastic, yet at the same time, menacing.

“Thank you, er, Professor-”

“NEWCOMER. THERE IS NO NEED TO KEEP THANKING ME, FOR WE HAVE ONLY JUST MET. YOU’VE GOT YOUR ENTIRE CAREER, POTENTIALLY YOUR WHOLE LIFE, TO THANK ME. BUT NOW IS THE TIME... THE TIME, NEWCOMER, FOR PIZZA.” He floated into the other room, leaving Oliver standing there at the desk.

What. The. Actual. F-

The kid at the counter spoke up, his voice, in contrast, a monotonous mumble. “Oh yeah, that’s Professor Pizza. He’s whatever, I guess.”

After getting changed into his uniform, he walked into the kitchen with Professor Pizza. The meatball was now adorned with a floating chef’s hat. Well, they say the people of Mobius come in all shapes and sizes.

“BEHOLD, THE PIZZA STATION. DO NOT LET ITS BEAUTY OVERWHELM YOU. FOR THIS IS WHERE UTOPIAS ARE MADE. FOR, YOU SEE, PIZZA IS THE UNIVERSAL EMISSARY OF TRUTH AND FELLOWSHIP. THE ONE CONSTANT THROUGHOUT A SEA OF INDEPENDENT VARIABLES WE CALL DIMENSIONS. MOST REALITIES WITH SENTIENT, CARBON-BASED LIFE FORMS HAVE, IN SOME CAPACITY, CREATED THE PIZZA. BUT YOU, NEWCOMER, WILL LEARN TO PERFECT IT; YOU WILL WITNESS PRECISELY WHAT IT IS THAT MAKES THE PIZZA, IN ALL OF ITS RUDIMENTARY GLORY, A QUINTESSENTIAL-”

“Hey Professor, sorry I’m late.” A hulking black-and-white figure in an outfit identical to Oliver’s walked through the door and began washing his hands. The professor turned to the figure.

“MARCUS CHANG. YOU ARE EXACTLY SEVEN MINUTES AND EIGHT SECONDS LATE, AS USUAL. HOW AM I EXPECTED TO MONOLOGUE TO THE EAGER, STARRY-EYED NEWCOMER AND REGALE HIM WITH TALES OF HOW PIZZA IS THE UNIVERSAL EMISSARY OF TRUTH AND FELLOWSHIP IF YOU’RE GOING TO INTERRUPT IT WITH YOUR TARDINESS?”

The panda’s eyes fixated on the small koala, as he stared at the white countertop. “Oh, hey dude! I didn’t see you there, behind the professor. I’m Marcus, welcome to the team.”

“It’s a pleasure, mate.” Oliver smiled.

“Heh, mate. I like that.” His black paw enveloped Oliver’s hand with a vice grip, as he bore a sharp, toothy grin. The professor grew impatient.

“YES, YES, THIS WILL BE YOUR FELLOW DELIVERER AND PIZZA SPECIALIST, MARCUS CHANG. YOU TWO WILL HAVE MUCH TIME TO GROW ACQUAINTED. ANYWAYS, BACK TO PIZZA BEING THE UNIVERSAL EMISSARY OF TRUTH AND FELLOWSHIP.”

The conceited hunk of meat droned on for a solid half hour. Oliver’s ears sunk as he zoned out. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Sometimes he’d wondered how different his life would’ve been had that internship worked out. It was something he tried not to dwell on, but now that he was alone here in the “Infinite City” and not around the people in his life, his mind couldn’t help but wander. Had he taken a different path, maybe he’d have some desk job paying $60k a year with benefits, and not some minimum-wage pizza job working for an insane meatball. Regardless, it was only his first day, and he was going to give this a fair shot and give it his all.

Before long, Marcus was showing him how to make the pizzas.

“So yeah, basically, once the dough is stretched, add a little drizzle of olive oil and garlic powder, spread it around real good.” He opened up the fridge door, which he kept horribly unorganized, much to the professor's chagrin. “You’ve got sauce, cheese, and then all your standard toppings. Pepperoni, sausage, worms, lead additive, pineapple, mushrooms, all that fun stuff. Then you just throw it in at 400 and set the timer for 20 minutes.”

“Makes sense to me.” Worms he could understand, as there were quite a few bird people in this city, but lead additive? Who in their right mind? And pineapple? Marcus chuckled.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually. I’ve been doing this so long, I’ve made pizzas in my sleep. No joke.” He set the oven temp. “You know, a while back we had this girl who was a few crayons short of a full box. She thought that instead of 400 for 20 minutes, she could do 4,000 for 2 minutes, because same deal, right? Anyways, the whole place nearly burned down.” Oliver rolled his eyes.

“I’m glad everyone was okay, at least.”

“Yeah, the Professor was pretty pissed about it. He tried to blow up the moon and everything. Hey, look at that, man! Your first pizza! Looks great!” Oliver smiled. He could get used to this. He opened as much, to ask about the Professor, as just then, like clockwork, he appeared behind them.

“NEWCOMER! WOULD YOU CARE FOR A SLICE OF PEPPERONI?” The slice levitated in front of Oliver’s face. He wrinkled his nose.

“No thanks.” He couldn’t eat much, besides eucalyptus, and there wasn’t much of that around here to begin with.

“MARVELOUS! THAT WAS MERELY A TEST, AND YOU HAVE PASSED! ONE OF THE QUALITIES OF A GREAT PIZZA SPECIALIST IS BEING NEITHER ABLE NOR WILLING TO EAT THEIR OWN SUPPLY, HENCE WHY YOU WERE HIRED.”

“Yeah, they don’t have much in terms of bamboo around here either,” Marcus said. Had they really both been hired just because they couldn’t eat much of anything in store, or were Professor Pizza and Marcus just exaggerating?

A little ding rang across the kitchen. The Professor turned around. “AND LOOK AT THAT! YOUR FIRST DELIVERY. THE TWO OF YOU WILL VENTURE OFF TOGETHER, TO DIMENSION 44M-470λ. AH YES, THE BEAUTIFUL AND BREATHTAKING FOREST DIMENSION, WHERE 99% OF THE WORLD IS COVERED IN BEAUTIFUL AND BREATHTAKING FORESTS!” Marcus’ ears perked up.

“I’ve always wanted to visit this one!” The professor adjusted his hat with his kinetic powers.

“ARE YOU READY, YOUNG NEWCOMER, TO DISCOVER?!” Oliver looked at the ground, before looking back up at Professor Pizza.

“Ready as ever, Professor. You can count on me!”

“THAT IS THE SPIRIT!”

The pizza that Oliver and Marcus had just put together went in the display up front. The second one they made together went into the boxes, along with a freshly-fried order of mozzarella sticks. Once the order was packaged up, Marcus gestured. “Come on, we’ll take my car.”

At the register, the nameless kid sat picking his nose as the duo walked by. Oliver recoiled in disgust. The professor appeared behind the kid, who wiped it off on his jeans.

“I WILL DISINTEGRATE YOU.”

The kid straightened up his posture and went to wash his hands. Marcus spoke up. “Alright Professor, we’ll be back in a few.

“SAFE TRAVELS. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF TAKE IN THE BEAUTY OF A LAND UNTAMED BY THE WHIMS OF MAN. ALSO REMEMBER, IF THEY DO NOT RECEIVE THEIR PIZZA WITHIN HALF AN HOUR IN MOBIUS TIME, IT IS FREE! WHICH IS INCREDIBLY BAD FOR BUSINESS. SO PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TAKING LONGER THAN EXACTLY THIRTY MINUTES.”

Oliver looked up. “Will do, Professor. It was nice meeting both of you!” The kid gave a half hearted grunt and kept washing his hands, which were red from scrubbing.

“OH, AND ONE MORE THING, NEWCOMER, THE IMPORTANCE OF WHICH CANNOT BE OVERSTATED.” A small, silver-looking object phased over into Oliver’s hands, the cold metal touching his palms. Oliver’s blood ran cold. This was… a-

“HAVE YOU EVER USED A GUN?”

Marcus moved the clutter off the passenger seat and shoved it into the pile in the back. He put the pizza in Oliver’s lap and got into the driver’s seat before pulling off. The little scented pine tree hanging from the mirror did little to mask the smell of sweat and... herbs that lingered throughout. Oliver looked on with amazement as Marcus effortlessly navigated the winding streets of Mobius.

Its nickname as the Infinite City was a little more than just metaphorical. From what Oliver had read, it was a demiplane, created by a powerful entity to allow users to travel between parallel universes, and acted as a center of commerce and transportation between them. The entire city, and therefore the demiplane, microverse, pocket dimension, or whatever you wanted to call it, was shaped like a mobius strip. If you kept driving for about a day, eventually you’d loop back around to the same place. Still, the streets were winding, confusing, and, well, infinite. It was less that Oliver had gotten to work five minutes early, and more that he left two hours early and it had taken him an hour and fifty-five minutes to figure out how to get to Professor Pizza’s Pizzas.

After a few minutes of driving, Oliver fumbled with the window control.

“Oh, it doesn’t work right. Gotta get that fixed. Here.” He lowered Oliver’s window for him with the control panel on his side.

“Thanks.” The wind gently brushed against his fur. “The Professor sure is… energetic, isn’t he?” Marcus laughed.

“Yeah, he can be a little much sometimes. He seems to really like you, though.” It was hard to tell, due to him being a giant, faceless, psychotic meatball. Oliver smiled.

“You think so?”

“Yeah dude, I know so... I think.” He pulled onto the expressway. “We should be at the dimensional gate soon. Hopefully the line isn’t too long.” He pulled out a stalk of bamboo from his pocket, too long to have logically fit in there, and began loudly crunching on it. He offered it to Oliver with a gesture and a questioning grunt.

“Oh, no thanks. I can’t. Koala.”

“Oh yeah, right. Sorry.”

“No really, it’s alright. Thanks for offering.” He passed a street corner, where a disheveled-looking human, a robot, and a worm-like creature all sat around a flaming trash bin, roasting what look like some sort of wriggling crustaceans on skewers. Oliver watched in curiosity and confusion. Marcus’ words distracted him.

“So, you obviously don’t seem like you’re from around here. Where are you from?”

“Oh, sorry. I just moved out here from Australia.”

“Okay, that narrows it down. Which Australia?” Oliver blinked with confusion.

“Which… Australia?”

“Yeah dude, you know how many different ‘Australias’ there are? There are entire dimensions that are literally just Australia. Heh, you’re actually probably not even the only ‘you’ walking around this city.” Oliver rubbed his temples, trying to comprehend.

“I… I really don’t know what to tell you, mate…”

Marcus spoke up. “Okay, they should’ve given you a slip of paper with the your dimension’s ID number on it. Usually a string of letters and numbers, followed by a Shu’nubzezu letter. Or Greek letter, depending on what your world calls it.” Oliver’s eyes flashed with recognition.

“Oh. Oh yeah, that. Sorry, I left it at home.”

“Heh, you sure do apologize a lot, dude.” Oliver’s ears grew hot with embarrassment.

“S-” He caught himself mid-apology again.

“It’s fine dude, I’m messing with you.” He took another crunch of his bamboo stick. Oliver’s stomach rumbled. He could really go for some still-on-the-branch eucalyptus right about now. “What’d you do back home? Before coming all the way out here?”

Oliver paused for a second before answering. “Mostly just part-time gigs and odd jobs to get me through uni.”

“Nice!”

“Yeah, I wish it was.” Oliver remembered the stress that university had put him through- the sleepless nights, the panic attacks, the frustration at himself for not keeping up with the lectures… all for what. A degree for a bunch of meaningless, bureaucratic jobs that didn’t even want him, and that he probably didn’t even want anyway.

“I never went to college, myself. I’ve just been here the whole time, hehe. Sometimes I wish I did.”

“It’s not too late.” Oliver gave him a smile.

“Ehhh, it’s whatever. What’d you wind up studying anyway?”

“Global studies.” Marcus’ ears perked up.

“Global… studies?”

“Yeah, like politics and… geography and such.” It was a nicer explanation than saying he’d spent four years learning about why every country and society in the world was terrible and corrupt, and how none of them could 'change the system'.

“Wait, hang on, global as in… you spent at least four entire years studying a single planet in a single universe?”

“Y-yeah, what about it?” Oliver’s tone grew defensive. Marcus’ friendly cadence broke the tension.

“That’s actually really cool, man. Not many people I know here would take the time and dedication to do that. You must be some sort of expert on it at this point.”

“Heh, yeah I guess. I don’t know.” His ears lowered, as he expected the next question: ‘so what are you doing here at a pizza shop in Mobius?’, and he’d have to go through how he screwed up an internship, and let down someone he considered a friend back in Australia, his Australia, the only Australia he’d ever known, but the question never came. They pulled up to the gate, waiting in the line of cars.

“Be sure to have your Mobius ID ready, otherwise the enforcers won’t let you through.” Oliver scanned the gate, noticing the heavily-armed police robots. They would’ve been sort of goofy looking, had they not been so menacing.

“Right.” Oliver fumbled for his temporary ID. “Sorry, I’ve only done this once."

“You haven’t even gone digital.” He laughed as he pulled up on his smartphone. The portal glowed a sickly greenish-purple as the cars drove through it. Oliver was thoroughly amazed with the level of technology here.

“So… how do they keep track of who’s from what universe? If there’s infinite realities and infinite 'you's and infinite 'me's-”

“Well, I wouldn’t say infinite. More like hundreds of thousands. He typed it into his phone. “980,775 as of right now. Getting close to the 1 million mark already. When I was a kid, there were maybe 10,000 open universes you could get to from here.”

“Open universes?” Oliver immediately regretted asking.

“Yeah. In a sense, there are infinite realities, sure. But there’s only so many that simple, carbon-based life forms like us can actually comprehend or survive in. And out of those, only a teeny, tiny sliver of fairly close-knit universes, at least in cosmic terms, can actually be reached through what we call ‘convergence points’.” He gestured to the gate. “In layman’s terms, wormholes that connect them to one another. Mobius is what you call a ‘hub’, in that, rather than random places going to other random places through space, time, and reality, they’re mostly connected through small hub worlds like this that allow for streamlined ease of access in interdimensional travel, using lots of technology, lots of magic, and-”

This was all making Oliver’s head hurt. He was trying his hardest to keep up, but it was all just so… much. Maybe Marcus was intelligent and/or insane enough to keep up, especially seeing as he seemingly grew up here, but it was all Greek to Oliver. Or Shoe-nub-whatever the hell they called it here. Marcus saw Oliver’s expression and gave him a warm smile.

“Hey, it’s okay dude. I get it. It’s a lot.” Despite his sheer size and sporadic, unorganized nature, Marcus had a calming presence about him. He was the kind of guy who never met a stranger, the guy who knew so much but never talked down to you. Oliver smiled to himself, before he quickly remembered something.

“Oh! I wanted to ask you-”

“Shoot.” Marcus inched his car closer to the massive, glowing portal, his right ear pointed towards Oliver.

“The kid at the register. The human… what was his name again? I didn’t catch it.”

“Oh, Mr. Personality?” Marcus’ tone soured. “I actually don’t remember. Not even the professor knows, and he writes his paychecks. Heheh, I was secretly hoping he told you so we could find out.” Oliver’s eyes widened with surprise. “See, normally all he does is make the wings,” Marcus continued. “That’s kinda his thing, so we all just call him the wing guy.”

“Strange.” Oliver couldn’t comprehend how nobody took the time to even learn this kid’s name.

“Yeah, in fact he only recently started helping on register. That used to be Tiffany’s thing.” Oliver sat up.

“Tiffany? Who’s she?” Marcus chuckled.

“Ah, Tiff. He was the best. First of all, Tiffany’s a guy. Second off, you’re actually sorta his replacement.”

“Oh really?” This peaked Oliver’s interest. Marcus looked out the window, as he lowered his ears.

“Yeah, it was messed up. A delivery went wrong a while back, and he kinda… died.”

“Died?!” Oliver’s head snapped towards the giant panda. He half-expected it to be some sort of sick joke, but Marcus wasn’t joking. The last person to fill this job died on the job, he’d been handed a GUN of all things… how much danger were they actually in?! And for what? The equivalent of minimum wage back home in Australia?! “I’m… wow. I’m really sorry, mate.”

“Thanks.” Marcus turned to Oliver, with a very serious expression. “These are the risks you take when you become a delivery driver. The professor won’t tell you that, but these are the sorts of things you need to know if you’re gonna be out here delivering pizzas. Don’t forget that.” Oliver gulped. A car behind them honked. Marcus’ personality quickly returned to his usual bubbly self. “Hey, looks like we’re up next.”

They pulled up to the gate, as the Enforcers scanned their info. They were cleared, as they punched in the dimension ID and the proper coordinates and the portal shifted hues. Oliver had barely had time to even process what Marcus told him. Marcus looked at him with a grin.

“Next stop, luscious forests full of fresh bamboo! Here we go! Got your phone ready to take pictures?”

“Yeah.” Oliver looked towards the portal with excitement, bracing for a green, new world.

“Don’t breathe or open your eyes!” The car jolted through space, between dimensions faster than the speed of light. The strings that made up the car, along with everything in it, split apart and reassembled as the car jolted through the other end of the portal. The feeling was dizzying and intense. Oliver slowly opened his eyes, and looked around at the miles of cold, grey concrete ruins and smog-filled skies.