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Haunted Mansion Script

Could you sub in for the Ghost Host? Fill in the blank for the script!
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pres22
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Last updated: May 7, 2026
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First submittedMay 7, 2026
Times taken4
Average score81.4%
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Ghost Host
When hinges creek in doorless chambers,
and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls.
Whenever candlelights flicker, where the air is deathly still.
That is the time when ghosts are present,
practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!
Welcome, foolish mortals
to the Haunted Mansion.
I am your host, your ghost host.
Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone.
There's no turning back now.
Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests
as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.
Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding,
almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis.
Is this haunted room actually stretching?
Or is it your imagination- hmm?
And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors...
Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! HAHAHA
Of course, there's always my way.
Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely.
The real chills come later. Now as they say, "look alive",
and we'll continue our little tour- and let's all stay together, please.
There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from
creepy old crypts all over the world.
Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here-
but there's room for 1,000. Any volunteers? HAHAHA
If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer.
And now, a carriage approaches to take you into the boundless realm of the supernatural.
Take your loved ones by the hand, please and kindly watch your step.
Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please.
We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.
Do not pull down on the safety bar please. I will lower it for you.
And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain safely seated
with your hands, arms, feet and legs inside. And watch your children, please.
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat.
Every room has wall to wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhh, listen!
The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize.
They're assembling for a swinging wake, and they'll be expecting me...
I'll see you all a little later.
Ah, there you are! And just in time... there's a little matter I forgot to mention-
beware of hitchhiking ghosts!
They have selected you to fill our quota, and they'll haunt you until you return!
Now I will raise the safety, and a ghost will follow you home! HAHAHA
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